


Walking Backwards on a Tightrope

by tamagoyaki



Series: I7 AU Collection [3]
Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: Idolish7! Tenn, Kujou Riku, M/M, Time Travel, Trigger! Riku
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-13
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-09-17 14:03:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 44,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16975959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tamagoyaki/pseuds/tamagoyaki
Summary: ...is easier said than done.Alternatively, Riku goes back in time.[C7 Updated. Current Arc: Trigger.]





	1. The Incident that Started It

Someone screamed.

A sudden voice which filled the concert hall out of nowhere, it penetrated the air which was buzzing with excitement and blended in with the sharp tenor of Yamato’s voice.

Riku was sure that no one else onstage had even noticed it. Riku himself wouldn’t have noticed it if he hadn’t been scanning the faces of their fans for their reactions.

That is, the moment everything went wrong.

Something creaked lowly, so soft it was drowned out by the high tempo of Memories Melodies.

Riku followed the gaze of a stunned fan upfront, and he saw it just as it was happening.

The metal wires securing the stage light break with a resounding snap.

“IORI!” Riku dashed forward.

He remembered in that instance – how Tenn-Nii used to reproach him for chasing after him; how Banri had mentioned a stage accident similar to this during his idol career.

Was this an accident?

No, that didn’t matter. All that had been occupying his head in that instance was saving Iori.

Even as the yells of his stunned groupmates filled his buzzing ears. Even as Iori looked down at him with a confused expression, mic lowered from his mouth.

Riku pushed him away.

And then, his world caved in on itself from pain.

-

These are the things he saw when the pain dulled into numbness:

His hand stretching out limply before his eyes. Horror painting the faces of their fans.

_“…anase-san…anase-san…”_

The frightened Iori…crouched before him.

Trembling fingers not unlike that their Black or White live reached out and withdrew from him.

‘What are you scared of?’ Riku had tried to say.

All that came was a wet squelching sound that failed to even enter his ears through all the ringing. He can’t even turn his head.

_“…all the ambulance!”_

Ahh… It hurt. It hurts.

But Sougo leaned in, damp lashes fluttering as he reached out with clammy hands. Yamato was barking out orders to the staff backstage. And Nagi… Nagi spotted someone off in the audience and was crying out as he leapt offstage.

A familiar suited figure can be seen in the peripheral edges of his sight. Someone had sabotaged their live.

But… that doesn’t matter.

Not when Iori had collapsed to his knees, tears tracking out one after another heartbreak tear.

_“…why…did you save me…Nanase-san?”_

Iori squeezed his eyes shut. His fists tremble on his lap in self-blame.

As darkness swallowed up his consciousness, Riku wanted to reach out to comfort Idolish7.

‘It’s fine.’ ‘This is nothing.’ ‘Don’t cry, Iori. We’re Idolish7. Isn’t it normal to help each other out?’ He wanted to say.

But not a single one of those phrases make it out before darkness enveloped him.

-

Someone is crying. Riku doesn’t know who it is.

There are hands hovering above him when Riku drowsily pries his eyes open by a crack. The familiar texture of latex presses firmly into the side of his cheek. Something’s shoved down his throat – A breathing tube. It’s a familiar feeling which he’d hated but learnt to accommodate ever since he was young. Tenn-Nii used to tell him it’s necessary, for Riku to not be stolen by the Angels up in the sky. The last time he’d been awake through this procedure was when he was fifteen.

 _“…he’s awake…_ Can you hear me, Riku-kun?”

His attending physician, Nobuyuki Takao, moves himself into view. He’s Nanase’s go-to on matters relevant to Riku’s health for years. A stern but kind-hearted man with a squarish jaw and more recently, white streaks on black Riku’s guilty for, Nobuyuki used to level him with a berating look whenever Riku dreadfully finds his way back with an apologetic Tenn as an escort, and he’d lightly whack Riku over the head with a clipboard in private. It’s not patient-abuse. It’s tough love. But in front of his parents, Nobuyuki never failed to take his side. ‘It’s just how Riku-kun is.’ He’d say, even if it’s with an exasperated, pointed look at Riku, and a long, resigned exhale.

Nobuyuki’s specialization is in respiratory ailments. This incident is hardly anything of that strain.

He nods regardless, figuring Nobuyuki might be here because his asthma is a complication in the surgery.

Is surgery even required in fixing… whatever happened to him?

The doctor looks surprised by his response. He smiles, keeping hands gentle on the side of Riku’s face.

“We’ll be increasing the dosage of medicine so you could sleep this off, alright? Don’t be scared. You’re doing very well for your first time on the tube. Now, can you just think about the answers to these questions for me? _You don’t have to answer them aloud—”_

The sounds grow muffled again in his ears.

Riku blinks sleepily and hears another cry coming outside.

It must be Idolish7. Tamaki must be throwing a tantrum again. He hopes Sougo doesn’t have trouble stopping him.

 _Beep. Beep._ The machine’s really noisy.

Even so, that steady beeping grows distant amidst queries of what 3x5 is, what the biggest fish on the planet is, how many siblings does he have…

Riku doesn’t get it. He only has one, and that’s Tenn-Nii. It’s not as if Nobuyuki doesn’t know that already.

That’s his last thought as his vision drifts back into black in a cadence that’s long since become familiar.

(He wonders when Iori will stop crying so noisily out there.)

-

He dreams – of Tenn-Nii forsaking him again, even though they’ve long since reunited and made amends; of that shadowed man – _Kujou_ – reaching out and tearing the new family he’d found apart, even though Idolish7 has never done anything wrong to him.

Carnelian eyes snap open and the first large gasp of air Riku takes infiltrates his lungs with a sharp stinging pain. Riku flinches.

“…!”

He would grunt but not even the sound appears to come.

“…Riku…?!” A gasp of his name.

Someone lurches up by the side.

Riku shakily held himself still, head turning to catch sight of his visitor.

“…Mom…?” Carnelian eyes gradually widen through his tiny whisper of a croak.

Nanase Megumi is pretty, Riku has known that ever since he was young. However, through years of weathering through their failing club, shouldering Riku’s hospital expenses, and then the loss of a child, age had marred her youth in the form of constant lines of worry and a dimmer, worn smile that hardly belonged on the same woman of years before (who had grabbed a whisk when he was five, smiled determinedly down at her children, and punched the air with an ‘OH~!’ in resolution of making a good cake for her husband).

Her scarlet locks never seem quite as shiny or bright, and it’d pained Riku to see her gradually wasting away because of Tenn-Nii’s absence.

But that Nanase Megumi is not the same Nanase Megumi he’s facing.

Mom stares at him for a long moment, eyes that are as equally carnelian as his own, wide with disbelief.

It’s heart-wrenching – even if Riku’s heart pounds harder, and it grows harder to breathe as realization dawns upon him, upon both of them – the way relief makes her arms collapse where they’d been pushing her from the edges of the chair.

Mom stands.

Riku is just beginning to shake his head in denial of what’s happening.

He doesn’t even manage a single full side-to-side motion before his Mom is gathering him up in her arms, breaking down in relief.

“…I’m so glad… I’m so glad…!” Mom breaks down with loud, unglam sobs.

They ring hollow in Riku’s ears.

He lifts a hand, stunned, to her arm nonetheless.

Distant steps close in.

“What happened to Riku?!”

Two figures break in through the door. One is Dad. The other is…

“T-Tenn-Nii…” Riku murmurs in disbelief.

Young. Six. With eyes more rounded than sharp, more open-worry than sharp berating.

Riku doesn’t know what to do when those eyes meet his and relief floods them.

Tenn takes a step forward, and he all but throws himself onto the bed to cling onto him.

“Riku…!” He sighs in relief.

Fingers that are trembling just like Iori’s wrap around the other side of him which Mom had not taken.

Riku is wrapped securely in a Nanase burrito, and his heart rate is escalating, breaths going shallow at the dawning realization that hits him as Tenn all but buries his nose into Riku’s other shoulder.

This can’t be happening.

Tenn’s feathery locks tickle the side of his cheeks. Mom’s scarlet locks too; were they so bright the last time round?

“D-Dad,” Riku’s voice shakes. “W-Where is Idolish7?”

The question comes frail, tiny, _weak_.

However, all his Dad returns is a confused look.

“Idolish7? What is that? Ah, a new ranger merchandise that you want for Christmas?”

His small hope sinks and crumbles away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 chapters posted together as one, because the prologue is way too short to be considered for kudos.


	2. A Second Chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> > “Have you ever thought before? About the things you’d do if you get back in the past?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: There will be some OC's in this fic. These are all background characters so they won't play any particularly large role. But I strongly believe they're necessary to make Riku's life experience realistic - just like Idolish7 has done in their own franchise. (No one could have succeeded without support.)

“Have you ever thought before? About the things you’d do if you get back in the past?”

Riku had once asked in the midst of winter, as everyone huddled up together before the TV replaying _Nobunaga Concerto._

“What? You mean like these dramas?” Mitsuki snickered.

“That can’t be.” Yamato affably corrected him with an offhand smile. “I mean, it’s pretty clear none of us have the smarts to replace a historical character. Tamaki especially.”

“I—” Tamaki raised a hand like he’s in a classroom. “-hate history.”

“ _Oh_ , but if one day, time does turn back for us, what does _minna-san_ want to do?” Nagi smiled kindly, mind a million miles away even as he peered at them, honest.

“If it was me, I would like to return to a time where _Haruki_ was still well and healthy. And I want to tell the me of the past to treasure those times more.”

“That’s what you mean, huh, Rikkun.” Tamaki understood and answered in a heartbeat. “I would protect Aya and make sure she was never taken.”

“That’s a very Tamaki-kun-esque answer.” Sougo commented, the tiniest fond smile gracing his lips.

“What about you, Sou-chan?”

Sougo appeared vaguely surprised at the question being turned on him.

Tamaki peeked at him from around the sofa’s edge.

“Would you listen to your dad’s orders again? Not join Idolish7…like he ordered?”

Tamaki has a bad habit of souring atmospheres out of nowhere like that.

He’s whacked over the head, reeled in by both Mitsuki and Nagi.

“This kid… Have you never learnt sensitivity?” Mitsuki deadpanned.

“ _Ssh!_ That’s a _landmine_ , _Tamaki!_ ” Nagi shushed him.

“Me huh…” Sougo smiled. “I would like to go back to a time where my Uncle’s funeral is being held. And I’d like to tell everyone there how fun it is to work with the music and people you love every day.”

Riku was breathless for a second, feeling a twinge of something peck at his heart for how open the normally private Sougo was with them. It’s a true testament to how close they’ve come, the way Sougo smiled fondly at them.

“That is what I would do if I go back in time.”

“Such a sincere answer… In comparison, we’re simple people so we don’t have things we want to change. Ne, Iori?” Mitsuki nudged his impudent brother.

“I want to get a hundred points on my last test.” Iori deadpanned.

“At least learn to play along!” Mitsuki once again brought laughter as he noogied Iori.

“Ahahaha! …Well, in Onii-san’s case, I guess I want world domination?” Yamato joked. “I may not be good at stock trading the way Sou is, but with the amount of secrets I have belonging to others, just think about the number of favours I could trade with them.”

Yamato began chuckling lowly to himself.

Riku blanched, like the others, at Yamato’s expression.

“Keep such things to yourself, Old Man.” Mitsuki sweatdropped.

“What about you, Nanase-san?” Iori sighed, turning the attention to him. “What would you do if you find yourself in the past?”

“Eh?” In retrospect, he didn’t think this through, did he?

Riku peered at the waiting glances from everyone. It’s… slightly pressuring, but… Riku smiled and answered honestly anyways.

“I wouldn’t change a thing.”

Surprise took the place of their intense stares. Riku could tell what they’d been expecting. He laughed bashfully and looked down at his mug.

“Even though it was painful when Tenn-Nii left… and I still wish we can be even closer than how we are now… I think I’m glad that things happened the way they did and led me here to everyone.”

Riku peered up at them, eyes soft, smile shy.

“We wouldn’t be Idolish7 otherwise, would we?”

There was a moment of silence in which Riku wondered if he answered wrongly.

 _“RIKU!”_ Nagi screamed.

Riku shrieked when the large man leapt at him.

He collapsed over the side of the low table, trying to escape, only to yelp again when Mitsuki lunged at him from his other side.

Tamaki thought it’s a cuddle fest and leaned in appropriately to cover all of them up with his arms.

The adults and Iori just watched, eyes fond, as Riku’s yelps turned into peals of hearty laughter sometime in the midst of being trapped, fingers stretching out to return the half-hugs everyone gave him.

-

That seems like a long time ago, even though theoretically it’s been only weeks at most.

Riku wonders if it’s still possible to return to a time like that.

 _You’ve always been too optimistic, Nanase-san._ A voice that sounds like Iori speaks in his head.

And so, Riku pursues his lips as he looks down at his orange juice and decides, _probably not._

…Geez. That’s a harsh admission. He wonders how Iori does it to himself all the time.

“…ku…Riku!” A familiar voice calls for his attention at the side.

“Eh?” He looks up, and it’s Tenn-Nii. Even if the ‘Nii’ isn’t so applicable anymore.

On a side note, Riku never really noticed how young Tenn looks even at they’re the same age. Were supposed to be the same age, in any case. These days, he sees Tenn, young and six, with pouting lips pressed into what’s supposed to be a cross line, and all Riku thinks is a befuddled, _‘This is Tenn-Nii…’_

Tenn sighs, short but exasperated.

“Is it that bad?” Pink ombres flicker down to his food. “You’ve been toying with your food for fifteen minutes.”

Being eighteen and pampered by a six year old Tenn is just reaching a new low, even for Riku. Doesn’t stop the urge to whine even then.

“It’s horrid. Absolutely, completely nasty!” Riku exclaims, scooping up a carrot soaked in curry to his twin. “Here, Tenn-Nii, just try it!”

Tenn seems like he might fall for it a moment, moving closer just an inch. He quickly catches himself, pulling back. Riku tries hard not to let the edges of his lips twitch upwards under the miffed look young Tenn-Nii gives him.

“…Good try, Riku.” Tenn crosses his arms. “Now, finish up your food.”

“Yess…” Riku mock-slumps, sighing.

It’s been a little more than a week since Riku woke up in this time, disorientated, to a younger mother and much younger Tenn-Nii practically swallowing him up in their embrace.

Within that week, Riku had tried and perpetually failed to come to terms with his new reality, went through a series of tests that graded the wellbeing of his useless, _useless_ lungs, and went through the same motion of relearning to use his inhaler.

He even had to go through the same old, boring lessons with his parents and Tenn on when to administer the medicine, how to administer the medicine, in particular, the oxygen pellets and the inhaler and – and blablablablablah.

Riku drifted off to sleep in the middle of that to Mom’s comforting stroking on his head.

In some ways, Riku is guilty for the heavy eyebags under his Mom’s eyes. But what he feels guiltier about, always, is the way Tenn appears to have been shoved aside in his parents’ coddling over Riku.

Riku doesn’t really remember, but six is the first time he had an attack. He can’t remember the last time he’d seen Tenn at the centre of the attention around their family.

But even so, to be put aside at the age of six... Tenn must have been unbearably lonely.

(Even if he doesn’t say it, that must have been one of the reasons why Tenn left.)

“Tenn-Nii, you know that I love you, right?” Riku asks offhandedly as Tenn gathers up his tray.

His older brother freezes. At six, Tenn’s not as good of a liar as he is in the future.

“Of course.” Tenn bites his lower lip.

It hurts to know Tenn shoved aside his loneliness at such a young age to put Riku’s health above his own needs. Why hadn’t he noticed this the first time round?

“In that case… You know that Dad and Mom love you too, right?” Riku questions, soft as he gazes down at his younger-older brother.

“…Of course.” That answer comes a bit later, wispy pale-pink locks just short of hiding away the tell-tale pinkish hue of his brother’s face. Tenn looks down before Riku could angle himself to meet his (teary) gaze. “I’ll go return these dishes.”

And he’s off, closing the door behind him, to – surely – cry.

“…Hah…” Riku scratches his head, frazzled. “I made Tenn-Nii cry…”

Iori would so spite him for that. Tenn-Nii is cute at age six afterall – he’s always cute. Nevermind Iori’s long estrangement with his brother. (What _had_ Tenn ever done to that guy?)

Come to think of it, when was the last time Tenn had cried in front of him? That time with Trigger’s absolvement from Yaotome Pro… doesn’t count.

“Hah…” Riku sighs again, burying his face in his knees. “…What should I do?”

If there’s a world where Tenn doesn’t put Riku first as a priority, Riku would like to go there instead.

But as far as denying reality has always worked for Riku, he’s still left with the scattered pieces of his family on his hand when he lifts his head from his knees.

So, when Tenn comes back into the hospital room half an hour later with swollen eyes well-hidden away by the pink of his pupils, all Riku does is to smile with faux-cheer and pat the side of his bed childishly.

“You’re finally back! Can you sleep with me, Tenn-Nii?” He pouts. “You’re always scolding me for wanting to go out to play. You won’t know how much of a torture this is unless you’ve experienced it!” He huffs.

“This is your idea of revenge?” Tenn looks at his bed, amused. “It doesn’t look that bad.”

Tenn climbs onto the cotton sheets. Riku scoots over to make a spot for him as the whole bed dips under his weight.

“Just wait till you get to the three hour mark.” He pursues his lips petulantly. “Your back will start hurting and you’ll be begging to get out of here – but I won’t let you!” The same way Tenn hadn’t let him.

“Really now.” Tenn sighs, light and exasperated, but plays along with a light-hearted smile.

He falls asleep half an hour into their pillow talk.

Three hours later, they’re waken by an impatient Nobuyuki. The doctor takes one look at them and gives a deep-seated sigh as Tenn slips out of the bed hurriedly. His slight shake of the head and light mutter of “Kids will always be kids” stop Tenn in his tracks. Nobuyuki pardons them easily with a gruff whisper of “I’ll keep this from your parents” and quickly goes through the routine check-up. He’s just nice like that.

With the doctor’s non-explicit permission, Riku resolves to repeat this routine for many times in the future, even when Tenn tries to worm his way out of it.

(Cause Tenn-Nii needs as much pampering as any other six year old.)

-

The thing about living in a hospital at the age of six is that each and every single one of the staff becomes something like family. Even the grouchy head nurse, Fujisaki Atsuko.

Riku hadn’t really wondered the first time round, but there are days where Tenn would be dropped off at the hospital for hours without a single adult around for supervision.

Now that he’d gone through the very frightening task of his first grocery run alone (at nearly age thirteen), and went to the hospital by himself (at age fifteen), Riku finds himself worrying about how Tenn shouldn’t be living the independent life of an adult, getting hustled and shoved in the full cafeteria during meal times; potentially getting tricked by the adults in the amount of change he receives; getting his money stepped on by a nasty adult coming in to steal a music sheet… or maybe he’s projecting too much of his own circumstances on Tenn?

In any case, Riku makes a resolution to call out to the hospital staff to do something about it.

Hanazawa Rin is both his attending nurse and something like an older sister for him. With a gentle smile and a nice singing voice chiming out lullabies whenever Riku used to go to sleep, frightened of monsters around them, she often spends her lunch hours with patients – usually the terminally ill ones – who has stayed there the longest. “Even though some of them would grouch at me, I can feel that they’re grateful.” She’d giggled when he asked once. Riku remembers vividly stumbling on her crying once, when he’d sneaked out of his bed again. Large fat tears spilling out onto the shoulders of another nurse, Rin had been crying for the passing of one of her patients.

From her, Riku had learnt empathy. Even if it hurts, Riku learnt that every connection, no matter how brief, is worth remembering. (And that eventually transferred over to his fans.)

“…Uhm. Rin-san,” Riku called out, legs kicking slightly as he perched on a chair and watched her change his sheets.

“What is it, Riku-kun?” She hums.

“Actually… I’ve been thinking. You know how my Mom and my Dad pay for my hospital bills and I get hospital food, even if they’re nasty?” Riku catches himself a moment later. “Ah, sorry! I didn’t mean that! Please don’t tell the kitchen staff-san!”

Rin giggles, hand trailing futilely to muffle the sound.

“It’s better to be honest, Riku-kun. What would you like for your side dishes today?” She smooths out the sheets.

“Karaage!” Riku exclaims. “Karaage is good – ah, no, that’s not what I should be saying!” Riku shakes his head to free himself of the thought of food.

Rin fluffs up his pillow and turns to change his IV.

“I was just wondering—” Riku winces as the new IV make its way down his veins. “Is it possible for us to pay for an extra meal so Tenn-Nii doesn’t always have to go to the cafeteria alone?”

Rin falters, blinking down at him.

“S-Since Tenn-Nii comes over nearly all the time, you know?” Riku quickly adds, afraid she might not get it.

Rin frowns. She folds her arms, brows scrunching, perplexed.

“You mean Tenn-kun has been looking after himself this whole time?” She asks slowly.

“Y-Yes?” Riku answers meekly.

Rin looks stumped, covering her mouth in thought. Riku blinks up at her, wide-eyed.

Is an extra meal really that hard for the hospital to dish out…? Well, to be fair, Riku has trouble even asking for extra sauce from the soba man, what with his high resemblance to Yaotome.

Finally, after what seems like minutes, Rin lowers her hand. She smiles down at him.

“We’ll see what we can do about that, Riku-kun.”

Riku slumps in relief.

“I’m glad…”

Rin lets out a smile, partly fond, partly – if discretely – worried.

(There’s a kid who heads over to his store every day at approximately 2:34 pm – a six or seven year old, with a headful of pale-looking locks.

Yamamura Isshin used to lean over the side of his store every day, worried whenever he catches a glimpse of pale locks in the constantly too-crowded cafeteria. They honestly should just open up a new cafeteria already. But the hospital’s just hung up on renovating the other one currently. Stubborn cheapskates. Thanks to that, the kid gets jostled on a frequent basis, even spilling his food sometimes due to less patient patients’ relatives. You get it? (Was that a bad joke? Ah, sorry.)

Recently though, management’s been looking into a new system to prevent this from happening. A new line’s been opened up at every store specifically for the old and the young. There’s even a trend where customers are paying forward an extra bowl and putting a sticker up there for the poorer visitors who’re already one foot in financial debt due to hospitalized relatives.

The kid’s been a beneficiary of both set-ups, even if he’s still so young. Yamamura wonders who he’s here to visit.

Once, just once, a nurse with wing B’s tag came down and gave a hesitant smile.

“I’ll have an order of what Tenn-kun usually orders.” She spots his confused face and elaborates. “Tenn-kun is a child about this tall—” She gestures around her waist. “—with light pinkish locks and a polite attitude. Do you know him?”

“Ah, Sakura kid.” Yamamura gets moving. “That kid usually orders just a serving of soba with extra condiments. Why, are you his guardian?”

“Hardly.” The nurse attempts to muffle her bright chuckle with the back of her hand. She fails. “I’m just his twin brother’s nurse.”

Yamamura notices the way her eyes shine despite her words. She must be really fond of them.

“Today, Tenn-kun fell asleep with Riku-kun in his room, so I’m here to get lunch for him. That child… It’s rare that he lets his guard down enough around us to slip away like that. Since I remembered he visits your shop on a near daily basis, I figured I might as well.” She smiles.

“Heh~ You’re a good nurse.” Yamamura packs up the soba in a plastic.

The nurse gets ready to pay.

“It’s fine. The kid always uses the pay forward benefit anyways.” Yamamura drops the plastic into her grasp.

The nurse pursues her lips. She pushes the money into his hand.

“I insist.” And she smiles. “Keep it a secret from Tenn-kun, alright?”

Yamamura watches her go off, huffing lightly. Really, she’s a good nurse. He wonders what the kid’s like, to be able to reject her kindness.

The kid shows up the next day, with his usual order on his lips. Unlike the usual though, he asks for two and pays for one. (He must have figured it out.)

“So, I heard you’re here to visit your brother?” Surprise flickers in his pink ombres. Yamamura makes a quick show of wrapping up the soba and handing it over to the kid with his usual line of ‘careful, it’s hot’. He adds a head ruffle to the sakura kid too, just because he’s young and he reminds Yamamura a little bit of his own nephew. “Don’t worry too much about him. I’m sure he’d be fine. Otherwise, you’ll find yourself greying faster, you know.”

Sakura kid – Tenn, is that what he’s called? – swipes his hand from his hair ungraciously.

“Thank you very much.” Tenn dips his head courteously regardless. “I’ll be careful not to worry too much—”

He stops, as if holding back some choice words. Yamamura looks at him and sees him looking pointedly back at him, himself, and his naturally grey hair. It clicks. _Smug brat._

“Oi! This is my natural hair colour!” Yamamura calls out to him as he disappears into the thick, hungry crowd.

He’s not such a bad brat. The nurse and the kid return together frequently thereafter. And he’d often exchange a couple of taunts with the kid over his orders whilst the nurse looks on with mirthful eyes.

(Yamamura Soba becomes something like a place of entertainment for cafeteria goers at 2:34PM.))

-

Like it or not, it’s not as if everything is sunshine and rainbows with him in the past.

Riku dreams at times, of screeching metal in his ears, Iori standing metres away yet he might as well be a million miles away – why won’t his legs _move_ – and Riku’s struck by the horrible realization that he might just be afraid of being the one who returns to the past. Iori never fails to meet his gaze in just that moment then. And the metal tears and each and every single heavy shard collapses down onto Iori—

“ _…ku-kun…!”_ Someone screeches.

He can’t breathe.

He can’t _breathe._

_He can’t breathe—_

And he’s smacked awake by firm cool hands pressing onto his cheeks. Something’s pressed tight over his nose and his mouth. Clear plastic. A nebulizer. Worried brown orbs blur into view, and he’s struck by the sudden longing for home. (Idolish7) Rin combs sweaty locks from his forehead. She murmurs gently down to him.

“Breathe, Riku-kun. That’s right…Breathe.”

Every gasp of air filling his lungs stings and feels too much. He parts his lips. Aims to take in more oxygen. But even then, nothing erases the _guilt_ , the regret – would he really have given up Iori to this if he knew this might happen back then? Was he such a bad groupmate he would have turned his back on Iori in a heartbeat just because of this-?

A finger tracks down the side of his cheeks. Rin collects his tears. He didn’t even know he was crying.

“It’ll be all okay.” She pursues her lips. “Everything will be okay. Tenn-kun will be here in the morning so—”

Tenn.

Riku shakes his head side to side. He flat out whimpers as he peers up at her with begging eyes. Squeezes out the words, even as his throat constricts on itself.

“T-T…enn… on’t tell…”

Tenn can’t know of this. He’s doing so well to make ties outside of the family too. Riku doesn’t want Tenn thinking he has to forsake himself for Riku’s sake anymore (even if their parents tell him to; especially if their parents tell him to).

“Sssh… Don’t cry.” Rin looks pained. For him. Riku curls frail fingers into her uniform, silently willing her with his eyes until- “I got it. I promise. I won’t tell Tenn-kun.”

Riku drops his hand and heaves.

It feels like in some weird way, he’s finally becoming a better brother to Tenn.

-

If there’s anything good about him coming back in time, it’d be Tenn.

 _Tenn-Nii is the only good thing about all this._ Riku would think on some nights.

It helps, when Tenn is six and Riku can finally see how much he needs someone to protect him in spite of his mature attitude. There are often nights where Riku can’t help but bite back bitter words against his parents for not being there to care for the both of them; for driving home the message that Riku’s the most important. It’s not their fault, he knows. They’re just doing their best to work to protect a warm home with four, even if they’re doing so by staying at their club for hours way into the night. Riku’s health is what’s messing everything up. But even so, whenever he looks at Tenn, he can’t help but think of his Tenn – the one from his time – and _what if_ —

“Eat all your carrots, Riku.” Tenn berates. “Otherwise, I’m telling on you.”

“Alright…” Riku sulks, scooping up the vegetable apiece at a time. He plops it in his mouth. “After this, do you think we can go out to play? I won’t do anything too strenuous!”

“I wonder…” Tenn trails off, gaze straying to the door.

Riku eyes him out of the corner of his eyes. It’s not good for a child to be cooped in all the time. He figured Tenn would need some air out there too.

“If Tenn-Nii is worried, shall we get Rin-san to join us?” Riku offers a guileless smile. “Tenn-Nii’s been getting along really well with Rin-san recently!”

“W-Wha—” A tell-tale flush comes to those pale cheeks. “Riku…” Tenn sighs, exasperated.

One contemplative second. Two long boring seconds. Three pieces of carrots in another second-

“I got it.” Tenn sighs again, caving. “I’ll see if any of the nurses are available. What do you want to play? I’ll ask them whether it’s allowed.”

“Anything is good!” He’s already been plenty pampered in his own childhood, so—“Tenn-Nii, you choose!”

“Geez, you’re so…” Tenn sighs, picking up his empty tray to pass to the kitchen staff. “Don’t go anywhere, Riku. I’ll be back quickly.”

“Alright-!” Riku chimes, watching him walk out.

The door closes behind Tenn. A wan smile crosses his face. He leans back in his bed.

Even if going back in time was the last thing Riku had wanted to do; even if he still dreams of Iori’s face on occasion, of Tamaki’s energetic dance, of Sougo’s gentle touches, Yamato’s roundabout guidance and even at times, of Mitsuki’s cheer and Nagi’s slightly weird but endearing ‘ _Oh’_ s… now that he’s back in the past, there are days where Riku can’t help but wonder—

_What if this is his second chance to fix everything?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yamamura Soba is Gaku’s mother’s shop. This is shown on his soba delivery box in the first idolish7 episode where sobaman makes his debut.


	3. Beginning Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riku learns to live without Idolish7. Tenn learns to have faith in his family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I strongly believe timeskips are not cure-all solutions.  
> Thus, you have this slow-paced but timewise-fast chapter.  
> Don't worry. The next one coming up will be much more fun.

There is nothing that needs fixing.

That was what Riku believed in even back then, when he was spending his days in Idolish7’s dorms.

Sunday mornings were his favourites. Because it’s on days like these that each and every member wake up and linger to eat breakfast together. Sundays were when he’s allowed to sleep in without the resident dorm mother (aka. Iori) nagging his ears off. Riku never failed to make full use of that time lounging in bed, drinking in the sounds that carve out a special space in his heart with its melody.

Sounds like, for example: The fine click of the electric kettle as Sougo prepares his morning coffee. The sonorous clinking of the pans as the kind Mitsuki prepares breakfast for everyone else. The chorus of greetings that greet every subsequent member to awake, Mitsuki always slyly raising his volume a notch for a hungover Yamato who grumbles in return. The impudent Iori would already have woken by then and reproaches the older on his drinking habits. Nagi, who’d cooped himself in the bathroom singing MagiKona’s opening for potentially hours unless Mitsuki slams on the door, barking out lectures. And finally, with the news playing in the background and the fine thumbing through of the papers, what lets Riku know he’s oversleeping is always Tamaki woken up by their volume, dragging heavy steps across the floorboards, gritting out—

_“Could you guys be quieter—”_

But that isn’t what he has anymore, when Riku wakes up.

Instead, it’s to the sizzling of pans and gentle humming.

“Riku?” His Mom turns from the stove, startled by his presence. “Awake already? You still can sleep a little bit more.” The edges of Megumi’s eyes do not crinkle the way it does years from now.

“Mom…” Riku mutters, stumped, and feeling just a little forlorn, a little hollow on the inside.

“Hm?” Megumi hums, flipping the omelette.

He doesn’t mention how disappointed he is to see her in their place. He doesn’t cry on her shoulders either. Iori’s told him plenty of times before he’s spoiled. (Tenn-Nii needs Mom and Dad to pay more attention to him. To do that, Riku mustn’t be a whiny brat.)

Instead, Riku puts on his false cheer and skips towards Tenn’s room.

“I’ll go wake Tenn-Nii for school!” Ignoring his mom’s calls for him to let Tenn sleep, of course.

(Nothing changes, even when he’s released from the hospital.) (Just a little, he feels a bit emptier on the inside.)

-

Bit by bit, time crawls on. Days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months, and months eventually bring the passing of years. Nothing changes except for the world around Riku. Everyone seems to be growing except for him. Bit by bit, the weight steadily grows heavier.

-

“When I get happy or sad,” Tamaki had explained once, in that awkward non-awkward speech of his. “All I want to do is to move around and dance. When you’re moving your body and dancing, you don’t have to think of anything, right? Such a feeling… Do you understand it, Rikkun?”

Tamaki had peered at him with beatific stormy eyes.

-

Riku understands. He understands more than he can bear. Which is why, on some occasions where Tenn has to stay in school for his class president duties, Riku would often sneak to the park for a short window of time before he goes home.

It is here that Idolish7 had their first ‘live’. It is here, that they first performed, and Riku remembers fondly how Mitsuki had to drag Tamaki back by the cuff of his shirt while kicking Nagi’s butt so they wouldn’t smear Idolish7’s name.

The memory makes Riku chuckle the first time he arrives, a single eight-year-old standing unsupervised in the middle of the park. Soon, with a sobering bittersweet smile, he puts down his phone and the little speaker he’d begged his parents for as his birthday gift. Turning up the off vocal version for [A.I](https://soundcloud.com/kanon-koizumi/ai-ai-mikaze) by Mikaze Ai, Riku parts his lips and feels the air filling his lungs.

It stings slightly.

The world is bright with dancing rays of gentle sunbeams. And he smiles and he sings again, to a near non-existent audience.

Nanase Riku is an idol. He is Idolish7’s centre. Even for a short moment, while he’s singing, maybe he could abandon the present momentarily. Maybe he can close his eyes and pretend that they’re dancing onstage again. That he’d find Tamaki flashing his teeth in a grin when he looks to his left, and that Iori is calmly accepting the audience’s cheers with a wider smile than normal on his other side.

He’s an idol, so it doesn’t matter even if it’s just one person. Please let his voice reach their hearts…!

_Clap. Clap. Clap._

Uncoordinated applause by two or three people greets him when he parts open his eyes.

The sun dazzles him for one brief moment in which he winces. And Riku sees the girl clinging onto her mother pointing to him. A man with a briefcase who’d stopped to listen in spite of his lifted, watch-donning hand. A food store owner who’s clapping absently, jaw dropped at his voice.

Riku smiles and Riku breathes.

Riku bows and Riku thanks them.

“Thank you for listening to my song!” And because adrenaline is still pumping through his veins, because Riku’s still not defeated by his past— “Here’s one more song!”

-

He doesn’t remember it – their faces. At some point when Riku stumbles and time rolls on to the third year since he’d arrived, Riku doesn’t remember.

He knows that everyone looks like a rainbow when they’re all lined up. He remembers that Nagi has azure eyes that were as broad as the skies but with depths rivalling the seas even though his hair is corn yellow (and everyone else’s hair and eye colours matches with varying hues). He remembers that Tamaki likes King Pudding, that Mitsuki could out-drink Yamato any day, that Sougo consumes tabasco in precocious amounts. But he doesn’t remember how they look beyond these vague traits.

Occasionally, Riku feels just a tiny bit depressed about it.

“Even though he’s so important to me, I can’t even remember how he looked like,” Sougo once said, remembering his uncle.

But even so, Sougo had ended up carrying the weight of his Uncle and proving to everyone that being in the music industry is about its joys too.

Maybe Riku can do that, if he keeps this up.

And so, Riku continues returning to that place on a near weekly basis.

He sings his heart out. Sweet songs devoted to the Tenn-Nii who is still young; forgiving songs for an Iori who must be blaming himself somewhere over the transcendence of time; melancholic songs, lamenting the loss of a time where everyone was happy – But even so, because Riku is nothing but optimistic, he throws in hopeful songs.

He sings encouraging songs with all the strength his lungs could carry.

Because surely, everyone will overcome their obstacles one day.

The audiences who come to see the boy who sings by the park increases as weeks pass.

Riku once saw a girl who cried from his song and his heart ached; he saw someone offer her a tissue and he smiled. The businessman from the first time offers the slightest upwards twitch of his lips the tenth time – following a grimace that terrified Riku out of his skin – and Riku found himself giggling. The corndog store owner waves him over and passes him a treat one time, ruffling his untamely locks and thanking him for the entertainment and Riku—

Riku can’t help but be glad that they’re there for him.

Maybe Idolish7 can’t get back together now. Maybe he can’t go back to those days. But maybe – surely – if Riku tries hard enough, one day, when that time again, they will still be able to reunite again as Idolish7?

Riku can’t wait to see the look on Yamato’s face when he realizes how much older Riku is.

-

Back home, things slowly decline.

They’re nine and they’re spying on their parents. Through the tiny crack of the door, Riku sees his mother shaking her head, running a frail hand through her dull locks.

“This isn’t going to pay all the bills this month.”

“Is there any way we can minimise the costs?” Dad replies, gently.

“We’re already cutting down the budget for every area, and it’s hurting business.” Mom drags a hand down her face. “I don’t know what else we can do—”

Riku may be naïve, but he’s not stupid. He knows the world always runs on money, even if Manager has mostly gotten that part settled for them. (He was lucky, to have been scouted by Takahashi Productions. They all were.)

Riku pursues his lips as the door slowly slides close.

Tenn grips him gently by the wrist.

“Let’s get back to bed.” Tenn coaxes.

“Tenn-Nii, is it my fault?” Riku doesn’t need an answer really. Just an affirmation. “I’ve been having lesser attacks recently…” Though there were still occasions where Riku winds up in ER during winter. It’s just that time though. (Adult him knows very well how to avoid his triggers.)

Tenn presses his lips together, but Riku can tell he’s avoiding the topic.

“This isn’t Riku’s fault—”

“What can we do to help?” Riku charges straight at the heart of the matter. Because that’s all Idolish7’s ever been about, really: troubleshooting one problem after another.

Tenn is stunned speechless, pink ombres gazing at him, disquieted.

Riku pulls his wrist out of his brother’s hand so he can squeeze his fingers.

“Tenn-Nii,” Riku tells his brother softly, sincerely. “I… am not smart, or talented, or anything. So, I can’t find a solution to this. But—” Riku peers into pink ombres directly. “—Tenn-Nii, you’re ranked first of the grade and you’re smarter than me. So if you have any idea what we can do to help, just tell me. I will definitely do my best to help!”

“…Riku…” Tenn tries to avert his gaze.

“This family is four people, right?!” Riku frowns. “When we’re in trouble, we’re all in it together. Isn’t that what a family is about?”

That’s right. That’s what Idolish7 taught him, the night MEZZO debuted. When one person makes a mistake, everyone comes together to support them. That’s what a family is. (And he’d regretted _so much_. But this time, he can fix it.)

Tenn slowly meets his gaze.

It comes to Riku only a second later how this is a mistake; he’s putting too much pressure on his brother, a _nine-year-old_ brother, when he’s supposedly overly twenty and can’t even think of an idea.

“I think,” Tenn begins. “That Dad and Mom’s club isn’t doing well—” He focuses on Riku’s gaze. Riku keeps his hands firm when there’s a squeeze on it. “—because they’re not suited to this business. They’re better off doing something else.”

Finally, a proper line that sounds like it comes from the Tenn-Nii who kept urging him to step out of the music industry. Even if the way Tenn says it is… meek, restrained, polite.

It suddenly occurs to Riku it might be because his twin brother is so used to prioritizing Riku over his own opinion at this period of time.

Again, Riku thinks sadly, it’s another way he could have stopped Tenn from leaving. Iori was right about him being spoiled.

Riku grips Tenn’s hand in his. He cocks his head, humming contemplatively.

“Is that so. What should Dad and Mom do in that case-?” Riku smiles guilelessly, accepting his words as truth. (What Tenn-Nii needs most now… is someone who would listen.) “Ah! How about a bakery?!” He beams at Tenn with all the oblivious cheer of his much younger self.

Tenn looks at him, bogle-eyed. He replies with a witty comment thereafter, bite lacking owning to his state of dumbfounded-ness.

“That sounds like a brilliant strategy to start an apocalypse. Mom’s breads, sold to people out on the streets.”

“Ahaha… That’s right.” Riku slumps as he laughs, sweatdropping at the vision. Tokyo would collapse from that. Cracking open carnelian eyes which were closed in a smile, Riku shakes Tenn’s hand. “In that case, what do you think would suit us?”

Tenn eyes him out of the corner of his vision. Riku’s relieved to eventually see a smile climbing onto his brother’s lips.

“First, we need to think of a way to convince them.”

-

“Mom, Dad?” Riku gently pushes open the door, leading Tenn by the hand for the first time.

At their seats, the two adults swivel to peer at them, startled.

Riku pursues his lips guiltily.

“We were listening…”

It takes just that line for Megumi’s taut expression to soften into one of bewildered realization and desperate reassurance. Behind her, Nanase Akito exchanges a silent look with her, both quickly turning their attentions back on their children.

“Riku…Tenn…” Megumi starts off, not knowing what to say. She reaches out instead, with her arms to pull them into an embrace. “There’s no need for you two to worry about this—”

“Why must it be a club no matter what?” Riku blurts out. He pauses under their stares. “I mean, Mom and Dad are not suited to this – Uh, you’re better doing something else— A-and, ah, that’s because—”

“Riku, you’re terrible at this.” Tenn comments factually, like it’s just another observation.

“Tenn-Nii, you know I’m bad at explaining, right?” Riku scowls at his twin. He shoves at him with his shoulders. The resultant grin, however tiny on Tenn’s face, drags a reluctant smile out of Riku.

“Tenn-Nii, since you’re so talented at explaining, _you_ do it!” He pushes his twin forward to sacrifice to the wolves. Said wolves are still blinking at them, bewildered.

“Hah… I guess I have to step up and show you how it’s done.” Tenn sighs theatrically. He pauses and adds. “Since Riku is completely hopeless at this.”

“Enough already!” Riku whines.

Tenn smiles. In spite of their moment (which he knows, is what Tenn needs to draw courage), Riku presses his fingers into Tenn’s clammy ones.

“…Dad, Mom,” Tenn takes a long time to look up into their eyes. Riku sees realization dawning upon Megumi, who takes a long hard look at the two of them as if it’s been a long time since she saw them. “I don’t really know how to say this, but… I don’t like how things are now.”

Tenn squeezes his fingers. Just a little, his fingers are trembling over his hand… and yet, Tenn continues on, firmly, even if he’s afraid deep inside.

“The club as it is right now… I don’t like it. I don’t like how you’ve got to work throughout the night. I don’t like how you wake up early to take care of Riku and me in the mornings. I don’t like how tired and worried you two always are.”

Tenn’s voice hitches as he continues, the smallest interruption that shows how unused he is to expressing his own wishes.

“I w-want you to rest more. I don’t want you to push yourselves because of the club anymore. And more than anything, I want you to be able to spend more time with Riku with a normal morning job—”

Riku scowls at that.

“—Spend more time with Tenn-Nii and me, he means!” Riku chirps up, elaborating.

“That’s right.” Tenn corrects himself firmly, startled by his own slip.

The shock which had gradually been settling over their parents’ expressions dissolves marginally into sad realization.

Tenn doesn’t notice a thing, squeezing Riku’s fingers so tightly they hurt.

“I know, that the club is a special place to you. That you met there.” Riku blinks. Now, that’s a story had never heard before. “But even so… Can you… let the club go and do something else instead? Even if it’s difficult, even if that place means the world to you. Can you… let of it now for our sakes?” Tenn proposes, the slightest hints of insecurity slipping into his tone for the first time.

Megumi and Akito look ages older when they look up. Riku squeezes back the shaking grip over his hand. Unlike him, Tenn actually went with Megumi and Akito to prep the club on some days afterall. Tenn is also always at home to see their breakdown whenever Riku is safe in his little bubble at the hospital. It figures that Tenn, who saw all this, learnt to keep his feelings to himself so as to not hurt anyone.

It’s another reason, Riku realizes with a jolt. Tenn prioritized their parents’ emotions over his own – isn’t that just another reason why he walked into Kujou’s hands?

He gazes at Tenn’s back and relearns the grandeur of Tenn’s sacrifice for them.

But… it’s nothing more than stupidity! Everyone suffered thereafter! But at the same time, Riku can’t deny it… It’s because Tenn walked away, that’s why they were still able to keep the tiny space the club once occupied. …Even though the club doesn’t matter more than Tenn. (Tenn-Nii was such an idiot.)

“Tenn… …Tenn,” Megumi’s hushed whisper trails out into the still air, crisp and pained.

Tenn stiffens before Riku. Riku gets ready to pull him into a hug from behind, if necessary.

Megumi rises onto her feet. And she squats before them, on eye level with Tenn.

“I’m sorry.”

The whisper comes raw and cracks with emotion. Unshed tears are in carnelians when Riku peeks from behind Tenn’s shoulder. His breath is stolen by the sheer love in them.

“We were always so busy with working to pay off Riku’s medical bills, we never properly looked at you.” Megumi bites on her lips. She gazes at Tenn in a new light. “You’ve grown so much.”

Tenn’s breaths don’t sound even. Riku peers at his back in worry. And when Megumi reaches out a hand to Tenn’s face, wiping his tears away, Riku’s body grows heavy at the sight of those tears.

“Thank you, for always looking after Riku. It’s alright now. We’ll here for you now, alright?”

Megumi opens her arms. She reaches out, and she pulls them both in.

Tenn’s shoulders shake as he cries with the softest sniffles. Riku’s still stunned, watching Tenn cling to their mother. (It occurs to him, that this would be the changing point.)

Megumi tightens her hold on the both of them, smiling tearfully.

“Let’s get through this together, as a family.”

-

“Tenn-Nii,” Riku sneaked into Tenn’s bed that night. “Tenn-Nii, when you grow older, what do you want to be?”

This is a question asked from under Tenn’s sheets. A meaningless question, asked because of wandering thoughts in the dewy cold of the night. Even though he’s sure they had conversations like these before in the past, Riku can’t remember things beyond Tenn-Nii’s hand being ripped away from his. He wants a few more memories like these, to squirrel away and look back on in the future times of uncertainty.

“Hm… I wonder.” Tenn answers, breath even, eyes closed. “Being a teacher doesn’t sound too bad. You get to order people around.”

“A teacher, huh…” The image pops up in Riku’s head. Riku remembers every harsh reproach Tenn had to offer to him and chuckles dryly. “Whoever’s going to become your student, I wish them luck.”

“They’ll be fortunate to have me as a tutor, I’ll have you know.” Tenn flips Riku’s bangs irritably.

“I know, I know.” Riku giggles.

They fall silent again, the weight of their plans tomorrow onwards lingering on their minds.

“…Tenn-Nii,” Riku calls out again.

“Hm?” Tenn hums, equally patient.

“I love you… you know that, right?” Tenn remains silent to his words. “Mom and Dad too… They love you too.” He repeats, in case that isn’t enough to keep Tenn from leaving.

“…I know, Riku.” Tenn replies shortly, though not curtly by any means. He tightens his arm wrapped protectively around Riku. It feels like a promise.

As Riku slowly slips back into a land of dreams, he thinks he hears a soft, whispered—

“I love you guys too.”

-

The days following that were anything but easy, but everyone certainly is happier.

With the shutdown of the club, Megumi and Akito were able to cut back on the losses, and their selling of the small piece of private property allowed them to live comfortably for some time. They decide to learn new trades, Megumi taking up a job as a full time florist, courtesy of her roots as a florist’s daughter, whereas Akito utilizes his business degree to get back into the cooperate world as a salaryman. Collectively, they also make a decision to move to a smaller, cheaper apartment located closer to their workplaces in a different part of town.

Naturally, Riku and Tenn will be transferring schools.

-

As the music died down, a crowd of messy clapping takes its place.

The sunbeams are still dazzling, the same way they always are. But even as blinding as it is, Riku hears the joy of his audience conveyed through their applause. He sees the smiles that are on everyone’s faces when the light dies down.

Middle school girls, children with their parents, runners who were walking their dogs, businessmen – the crowd is so much thicker today than it was two years ago. And yet, every single smile and applause fills Riku’s heart so much – especially because of what meaning this particular day holds for him.

Riku bows low.

“Thank you very much!”

The applause hits harder. He finds it hard to maintain the usual cheer in his smile when he rises;  when he looks at every individual face one by one, and sees curiosity eventually taking its place at the unusual break from the routine.

Riku takes a breath and feels the air filling up his lungs.

“The truth is… I’ll be moving out of this area soon.”

Shock replaces the curiosity. Riku sees the shock _barraging_ that particular businessman who’d been watching him since the first time and sweatdrops, rushing in to reassure him.

“O-Of course, it doesn’t mean I won’t be coming back here ever again! But it’s just that my parents had a bit of trouble with their work, so we’ll be moving to make commuting less of a trouble and – p-please don’t cry!” Riku yelps when the salaryman breaks down in tears.

Some of the crowd giggles, used to this guy’s exaggerated reactions. The other half looks like they’re about to join him in this tearful fest.

“W-Where was I…?” Riku scratches the side of his head, frazzled. “Ah, that’s right! I wanted to thank the people here for listening to me through these two years—” Riku dips his head again.

“Really… thank you!” He shouts that out to his listening audience.

“Thank you, for supporting me through these two years.” Riku doesn’t dare look up to look at their expressions. “The truth is, back when I first started, it hurt even just to sing a single note. There were people who I’ve lost – people who were important to me.”

Riku shrugs as he rises back up, trying to seem like he’s over it. The understanding that looms over the adults’ expressions though, told him they know just what he’s going through.

“It’s those people who taught me how to sing with emotions in my voice. To convey my thoughts in the form of music—”

“Your song covers are the best, Riku!” A high school girl yells.

“Eheheh, thank you – I’m glad you think so,” Riku giggles. He takes a breath. Huffs, as he looks at the faces of his audiences again. They seem slightly irritated at the interruption. Riku laughs. “—But I’m all over it now!”

“Sometimes, it still stings to remember them; to open my mouth and sing without their voices accompanying me, but—” He smiles. “—each time I open my eyes and I see how happy I’ve made people with my music, I can’t help but think – ‘I’m _sooo_ glad I did this! Even though I was so scared too!’” He drops his shoulders theatrically with the sigh. People chortle at his real reaction. Riku beams. “That’s why, to everyone who have listened and smiled with me throughout these two years, I just want to say this: Really,” He bows again. “Really, thank you so much!”

Soft claps resound.

“Stop bowing so much! You’re making my waist hurt looking at you!” Yells an old man who frequents every Friday afternoon.

“ _We’re_ the ones grateful for your music, Riku-kun!” Yells a store vendor.

“Don’t go, Riku-kun!” Cries a girl.

Riku chuckles sheepishly as he rises back up.

“Of course, this isn’t the end! I’ll still be singing even after I move! So, if you ever see me out on the streets, please continue to support me!” He beams and grip his phone, feeling lighter with the weight off his chest.

Everyone is still smiling at him, cheering him on. Geez. Even though he’s moving soon too, just the sight of them gathered around this park makes him want to never leave. How much of a masochist is he? To keep coming back for more.

Riku wipes the wetness from his eyes. He skips and smile sheepishly, when a housewife calls out to him to ‘not cry!’.

He won’t. He still wants to enjoy what time he has with them before he leaves, afterall.

“Before I go, I’ll sing a few more songs. Here is BTS’s ‘[I’m Fine](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGVjM8b3Xwo)’!”

-

And so, gathering along the things that are important to them, the Nanase’s move. Leaving behind a neighbourhood so full of memories, they settle in a new home where it’s easier to commute to both Megumi and Akito’s workplaces. Ever the overachiever, Tenn is elected as the new student council president at his school, and Riku continues his street performances at the nearby town square. The days roll past uneventfully, in a content, idyllic peace.

As they celebrate the twins’ eleventh birthday, Riku gets just a tad insecure about the incoming future.

(Tenn was supposed to be torn away from them at the age of twelve. But now, with his interference, will everything still be the same?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> People who know me from Hananase know it's a bad thing for me to be posting.  
> It virtually means I'm suffering a writer's block in the midst of finishing a major story plot.  
> Please give me support so I can push through C5/6 and give you this next chapter :;(∩´﹏`∩);:
>     
>     
>     Next Chapter Preview:
>    
>    > There is someone singing close to their place that day, an innocent voice with rounded syllables that’s somehow warming to the heart.
>>     “That’s a good song.” Banri had mused. “O-Oi-!”
>>     His partner crosses the streets without care for the horning vehicles. It figures, that like the gigantic ‘fuck you’ Yukito constantly treats his fellow homo sapiens with, he’d be equally dismissive of vehicles driven by said humans. 
>>     “You. Name?” 
>>     “Next time, I want to hear a cover of ‘Us: The Incomplete’ from you.” 
>>     “Are you taking any song requests?” His vision is swimming. Kujou Takamasa is looking at him, seemingly concerned. “If it isn’t too much trouble, could you sing Zero’s ‘Dis One’?” 
>     
>     
>     Please look forward to the next chapter! OTL OTL OTL


	4. Kujou Riku

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Re:Vale gets involved. Riku meets Takamasa. Kujou Riku is born.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was proud of this when the preview for this chapter was posted, but now, I'm not so sure anymore.  
> Hopefully, you guys will still enjoy this update (*ﾉω-)

(There is someone singing close to their place that day, an innocent voice with rounded syllables that’s somehow warming to the heart.

“That’s a good song.” Banri had mused, and hadn’t even had the time to finish his thoughts (analyzation, really. Because he had never realized how hard it was to have full control over one’s voice till he somehow ends up as an idol in all but name) when that troublesome little cretin is already strutting off from his side, a telling determination to his stride which speaks of impending danger ahead. “O-Oi-!”

His partner crosses the streets without care for the horning vehicles. It figures, that like the gigantic ‘fuck you’ Yukito constantly treats his fellow homo sapiens with, he’d be equally dismissive of vehicles driven by said humans.

“That guy is really…!” Banri spares a moment to be pissed before sighing. He waits for the light to turn green, like a proper functional human being, and he crosses the street to get to that guy.

Yukito is standing alongside the small gathered crowd enclosing the source of that bright voice.

Banri struts up to him, a half-hearted lecture ready on his lips.

“I understand that you’re interested in the singer, but it’s dangerous, to cross the streets like that—” What is he? A child? (Not that Banri hadn’t already come to the conclusion that Orikasa Yukito is the product of a Frankenstein combination of said worst child and adult traits.) Who is he looking so intensely at anyways--?

Banri’s eyes widen.

He stares, stumped, for the whole of the next couple seconds.

Here he’d been, anticipating to see an adult who’s able to put in such flavour and depth into every word that slides off. And yet, standing before him with a schoolbag and a speaker playing on not that far off, is a redheaded child about half his age pouring his heart out into every syllable.

He’s in one word… inspiring. It’s not just that faint tan of his skin and natural flare of his visuals that endears him to the audience. Neither is it his voice, though Banri can see why Yuki’s attention had been caught with just his voice. But the deep-seated sadness marring his face as he closes his eyes and his voice reverberates to a gentle, lilting tune of a foreign song, the hope which is conveyed by the gentlest flutter of his lashes and soft upwards turn of his lips – even though Banri can’t understand a word he’s singing, his lips part and every breath he takes of the winter air is soaked full of emotions the child wants to convey.

He’s mesmerized up till the last note enters the air with a shudder.

Then, the applause comes to the crowd who must have been standing for far longer than one song. Banri follows their example, lifting his hands to give one, two weak claps.

The singer’s face turns into a cheerful smile, so different from his previous demeanour.

“Eheheh… Thank you! Thank you for listening!” The boy gives a deep bow. As his carnelian eyes passes cursorily through the crowd, they come to a rest on Banri and Yuki, and they stop, widening slightly.

Banri looks to the side, wondering if he’s mistaken.

“Eh… Banri-san? Yuki-san?!”

Nope. Not at all. It doesn’t seem like a case of mistaken identity.

“You know us?” Banri asks, surprised.

Some of the crowd grumbles, annoyed at the break, but offer encouraging smiles and even discrete thumbs-up’s as they continue along their paths.

One man even reaches out to ruffle the boy’s hair – which, surprisingly, the feathery-haired boy accepts with a giggle and a small thankful dip of his head.

A few others linger, patiently waiting their conversation to end.

“I—” The redhead ducks his head. He averts his eyes. “I’m Re:Vale’s fan!” He blurts. And smiles sheepishly, scratching his cheek. “Or something like that. Yup.”

“Is that so. In that case, why don’t you sing one of our songs?” Yukito requests indifferently. In that same offhanded way he treats everyone, which comes off intimidating to some.

“Eh? One of Re:Vale’s?” The boy panics. Look, Yukito’s causing trouble again.

“Ahh--… You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” Banri lifts his hands placatingly. “This guy’s just getting off on saying whatever he wants.” He shoots a reproaching look at the other.

Yukito averts his eyes. Then, he looks back at the boy.

“You. Name?”

Wide carnelian eyes blink.

“N…Nanase Riku.” He gives, stunned.

“Age?” What the heck is he doing, Banri wonders.

“I’ll…be turning twelve this year.” The kid turns pitiful eyes on Banri, searching for help. Unfortunately for him, Banri’s not much of a leash when it comes to this outlandish guy. He smiles apologetically and shrugs at the kid.

“Do you like music?” Now, hold it right there.

Banri turns bewildered eyes on his partner, suddenly getting a great sense of trepidation. This can’t be good. He doesn’t want to become a kidnapper by association—

“Of course!” The kid answers enthusiastically.

Banri drags a hand down his face at the look in Yukito’s eyes.

“Ah… You’ve sealed your fate.” Banri mutters inaudibly.

“Next time, come to our concert.” Yukito pulls out the tickets Banri had handed him. It’s those same tickets Banri had given him not even fifteen minutes ago, hoping this guy’s visuals + free tickets will coax some unsuspecting females to become their fans. (They finally have a reservation for Fridays and Banri wants some sushi for the first in a long while, for god’s sake!) He hadn’t expected him to use it like this… “We’ll be waiting for you.”

The child – Riku, was it? – peers up at Yukito with lips parted in awe. Banri musters a strained smile when Riku turns his eyes to him.

“Don’t feel pressured to come. Ah, and make sure to tell your parents beforehand.” Banri presses a few more tickets into Riku’s hands. “Here. In case they want to come along.” He flashes another smile.

Some of the kid’s audience seem to be getting annoyed, so Banri hustles and pushes Yukito along to get back to their own concert venue.

“Thank you very much!” He hears Riku call after them.

Banri chuckles. How cute.

“That child… Riku-kun sure was talented.” Banri smiles as they wait for the traffic light to turn green.

“I wanted to hear him sing my songs.” Yukito muttered, eyes contemplative as he gazes at the street across them. “…Ban.”

“No.”

“Let’s take him in as a third band member.”

“You’re going to make him cry anyways with all your bad habits, aren’t you?” Banri rubs his temple, feeling a migraine building.

“I won’t.” Yukito insists. How stubborn.

“Let’s suggest it to Riku-kun the next time we see him, and we’ll see if he’ll cover one of our songs.” Banri proposes instead, sighing. It’d be nice if Riku takes well to the idea.

He sweatdrops as he eyes the guy beside him. He can already see the cogs in his head running, choosing a song that’d best display the boy’s skill. Really… It’d be nice if Yukito doesn’t go overboard. Banri doesn’t want to be punched anymore, sheesh.)

-

This really is such a small world. Riku smiles at their backs disappearing into the crowd.

Imagine him meeting Banri and Yuki as the old Re:Vale before they’re disbanded, and out on the streets like that… If anyone else came back to the past with him and he told them that, Riku’s sure they’d be so startled they might even slip.

The thought of that makes Riku chuckle into the warmth of his muffler, a handknitted thing which Megumi had wrapped around him gently that morning.

Someone comes and joins the dissipating crowd around him.

“Are you taking any song requests?” Asks the low tenor of a man’s voice.

“Ah, sure! So long as I know the lyrics, I’ll sing any song—”

Riku makes a mistake; he lifts his head.

The moment he sees _him_ , it’s as if his world caves in on itself for the second time.

It’s dark. It’s dark. Riku’s in two places simultaneously, feet tapping out to a dance he’s already long forgotten, watching the audience smile and laugh as they wave their light sticks to a song that’s deafeningly loud in his ears. Riku sees him, standing there in the midst of the crowd, smiling up at him. It’s not unlike the smile he’s offering him now, in his blurred peripheral vision, with the backdrop of cloudy skies and storey-high buildings. Curled side bangs frame long slender jawline. Moss green eyes boring out of slits that have heavy bangs beneath them. An impeccable arrangement of clothing that’s pre-arranged, just like Iori’s cry out to him out of the sudden, and Iori’s lips contorted into a silent yell as he chases up towards Riku—

\--And the single tearing sound of metal, plummeting down on him with a crash that sounds like shattering glass.

Riku blinks. His vision is blurred. Kujou Takamasa is looking at him, seemingly concerned.

His hands shake in their mittens. Riku forces a smile at the man and dimly registers his question.

“—alright, boy?”

“E-Eh?” Riku shakes himself out of it. “I’m fine. Just peppy! Sorry, what were you saying?”

His smile hurts. His facial muscles feel like plastic. But even then, Kujou appears satisfied with his response, leaning back with a tinier, equally false smile.

“If it isn’t too much trouble, could you sing Zero’s ‘Dis One’?”

“Eh…?” It registers, how this is supposed to be significant. Dis One was sang by Re:Vale, or at least, the new version. For Kujou who was so obsessed with making idols perfect like Zero to request such a song from him…

No. Don’t focus on that now, Riku. His teeth are clenched so tight, it hurts. But even so, don’t focus on that. Re:Vale is here. They’re nearby. They’d be ruined. By this man. And Tenn-Nii – Riku can’t let this man take Tenn-Nii no matter what. He needs to do something.

“…Is that song no good?” Kujou frowns. “If you don’t know that piece, you could also do—”

“No, nope! Sorry, I was just a bit surprised, that’s all.” Riku smiles and reassures the man. He hopes his emotions are well-hidden by his close-eyed beams.

_Your face is an open book, Nanase-san._

**_Please let his acting be realistic just this time, Iori, Yamato-san_ ** _._

“Dis One is one of my favourite songs.” Re:Vale’s version, that is. “Hang on just a minute! I’ll search up the off vocal version on my phone.”

He rifles through the phone. It makes him feel sick, and he feels like ringing up his parents at home to come and get him, but… Tenn will be there.

“Do you often make a habit of performing out on the streets?” Kujou questions offhandedly. “It’s rare, for a youngster like you to be out alone. I was surprised by your age when I first saw you.”

“Weren’t you?!” Brought up another member of the audience, a slightly big-boned man with a cheery attitude and a neat coat. “I was equally surprised when I saw Riku-kun! I used to go to the orchestra before, but imagine being able to hear equally high-level music out here on the streets! Because of Riku-kun, I’ve totally been converted to pop music!”

“Ahaha… That’s an over exaggeration.” Riku laughs weakly. His shoulders relax slightly at the reminder of other people here. (That’s right. Kujou can’t do anything to him with people around.)

Gathering strength from the anticipating smiles of the crowd around him, Riku musters the courage to look somewhere in Kujou’s vicinity and even smile at him. (Even though he wants to hurl.)

“I often come here alone to perform because I want to destress. It makes me happy, when I see people smile because of my songs.” He shares that piece of information, mostly to the other members of the audience.

“Isn’t that kind of a controversial thing to say after you’ve just made me cry?” Sniffles a middle-aged housewife who’s another regular. She had been dapping her eyes with tissues after his previous song, which had caught Yuki and Banri’s attention. (He just can’t think of them as Re:Vale, somehow.) “Hey, sing a cheerful song for me, Riku-kun. My son got a girlfriend recently and I’m growing all old and lonely.”

“Eh? That’s good news!” Riku tells the housewife. He settles in his element with this normal day-to-day talk with his audience. “Who knows? Maybe you’ll have a cute grandchild to look after soon?”

The audience laughs at the prospect.

“When your grandchild is born, you won’t have any free time to be lonely anymore.” Chimes an old man with a tottering walking stick. “Best enjoy this time while you still have it.”

“That’s… not a good thing to look forward to, Riku-kun.” The sullen housewife slumps.

Riku muffles a chuckle with the back of his hand. (Avoiding looking in Kujou’s direction as much as possible.)

“Okay…!” He smiles. “A cheerful song for you, Madam, coming right after ‘[Dis One](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSN6ocI0zJw)’. …Oh, I finally found it.”

The speakers begin playing the loud rock and beat of Dis One. Riku shakes out his legs, finding it hard to hold in the excitement after years of avoiding any songs belonging to the still undebuted Idolish7, Trigger, and even Re:Vale.

If he closes his eyes and pretends that Kujou is just King Pudding or even air… alright! Maybe he can do it!

“…I present to you, the cover of Zero’s ‘Dis One’—!”

-

(In a blink of an eye, it was as if Zero had returned.

That face, that voice… Each and every single detail is different from Zero’s, and yet, that hunger for the affection of his audience is as present as Zero no longer is. In a heartbeat, Nanase Riku has his audience transfixed with the sheer emotion flooding through his voice. Where to breathe between the melody. High notes. Low notes. What kind of gestures he ought to display in time with the music. Which expressions best suits him. The boy seems aware of all of these. In an instance, even though they’re standing by a rundown street, Takamasa was taken to a place far away from here. He could see him:

Nanase Riku, years older from now, standing on that same stage Zero stood on with cheers swelling into thundering applause.

Something is shaking when Takamasa looks down. He is shaking.

He grips his trembling hand with one gloved palm, taken aback at his own reaction.

“Riku-kun is amazing, isn’t he?” Asks the gentleman from before, leaning in with an understanding smile.

“He really is.” Takamasa obligingly returns a small smile.

(He wants to hurry up and produce this boy already.)

Takamasa’s ideal is an idol who lives to serve the audience. And Nanase Riku meets the criteria in a way he never expected.

In that moment, Takamasa knew.

That he _has_ to have this boy.)

-

“Do you ever have any interest in becoming an idol?” Kujou asks him moments after the crowd leaves, just as Riku is gathering up his things in his bag.

“…Eh.” Riku can’t believe this.

“I happen to be a producer. And I’m currently out on the field to source for talent.” Kujou smiles down at him.

Riku would almost believe him, if he hadn’t seen Tamaki and Aya’s bond get twisted by him; if Tenn didn’t become more distant from him because he’s ripped apart from them. By _him._

“I believe that you have the potential to become Japan’s number one top idol, if we work together to mould your talent.”

“Japan’s number one…” Riku echoes. He can’t believe that he’s hearing this.

Japan’s number one? Top Idol? Does Kujou really believe he cares about any of that?

Nothing.

Nothing beats being in Idolish7, living through days that pass like flipping pages, countless laughter shared in and out of the training room. And yet… This man really believe that he’d just leave behind everything. Just. Like. That.

“I have to reject the offer!” Riku puts his foot down. He peers up at the startled Kujou with a determined look. “I have my own dream that I like to fulfil.” That is, to become part of Idolish7 again. “I’m sorry, but please look for someone else.”

Who is that someone else? The thought occurs to him when he’s metres away from Kujou. Will he… will that man ruin the old Re:Vale because of him? He needs to do something. He needs to warn Banri.

But even in death, never will Riku ever, _ever_ join Kujou!

-

(There’s a cute little boy standing outside the stage that day, waiting, with his hands on his bag straps.

“Who……?” Momose blinks when the tiny redhead looks up from his phone, attention caught by him. “Oh, are you new here?”

To think that Re:Vale has gotten so huge even elementary school kids come to watch them… As expected of Banri and Yuki! But then again, are kids allowed into places like these again? Won’t he be trampled if he’s caught by Yuki’s fans? Momose has to protect him, as a fellow Re:Vale stan!

Momose cups his mouth. He hollers to the cute little thing blinking up at him with wide carnelian eyes. They’re almost like cherries.

“Re:Vale’s concerts don’t start till 5~! Until then, do you want to wait out in the back with me?”

The cute boy blinks, startled. He almost jumps out of his skin.

“C-Can I really?!” How adorable.

“Of course! Yuki-san and Ban-san are gentlemen, so I’m sure they’ll let you wait inside!” Momose pushes the door open with his back, still holding the large box in his arms. To his delight, the kid walks around him and tries to hold the door open for him whilst he enters. “Ah, thanks! You’re really such a good kid~ From where did you learn about Re:Vale?”

The boy shuffles nervously from feet to feet.

“F-From my big brother.” The kid looks to the side.

“In that case, we’re the same! I learnt about Re:Vale from my big sis too!” Momose throws his head back in a laugh. “And so,” He leans in, whispering secretively. “Between Yuki-san and Ban-san, which do you like more?”

“Eh?!” The boy looks at him, looking he’s been held at gunpoint. “E-Erm. Between Yuki-san and Banri-san…” He swallows nervously. His eyes are wide, peering out at Momose (pointedly). “Both of them have done so much for me…” He mutters something inaudible beneath his breath. “How can I possibly choose?”

“Good answer.” Momose would pat his head, but his hands are preoccupied. He settles for a wink instead. “You’re formally welcomed into the Re:Vale fanclub!”

“…So Momose-kun _is_ part of the fanclub.” A quiet voice speaks behind him.

Momose jumps. And backs away, as far as he can, away from the two dazzling people.

“E-Eh? That’s right – Yes, I am! Sorry!”

Yuki looks down at him with an enthralled-pensive look. (If that’s even a thing?)

“…Why are you apologizing?” Banri questions with a sweatdrop.

“Ah, right-!” Momose’s voice is hitching again. Just being within the ten-mile radius of these two is too much for him. He’s going to melt…! “I found this boy outside and he seemed pitiful waiting out in the winter cold… I-I hope I’m not being presumptuous bringing him in-?!”

“Of course not.” Banri smiles, turning his eyes on the child. “It’s been a while, Riku-kun.”

“…Hello, Banri-san, Yuki-san.” The redheaded child nervously smiles back. “Sorry to come while you’re busy, but… do you have some time?”

Eh? They know each other?!)

-

(“You do realize, how hard it is to believe you?” Banri begins after the nervous wreck of the conversation.

It’s just them and Riku in the small resting room (which Momose had excused himself from after hurriedly putting down his box). And since then, Riku had nervously, slowly, told them of a suited man with side bangs who supposedly raised Zeno as his manager, did corrupt deeds to other idols who refused his offer to be indoctrinated by him, and even tried to scout for Riku.

(But how does an eleven year old even know these things?)

“Even _I_ know that.” Riku swallows, head lowered. His eyes are shadowed in a way no child’s should. “But no matter what, I had to warn you…”

“Why.” Yukito questions. “Is it because you’re our fan? Even though you’re our rival too.”

“Yuki—” Banri gets ready to berate him again.

“Or is it because that man is just that bad?”

Banri falters. He disquiets.

Riku closes his eyes. He looks like he’s going to be sick, breaths coming shallowly. Slowly riffling through his bag, Banri’s astonished when he pulls out an inhaler, pressing it between his own lips. Riku… is sick with asthma? He was so good at singing too.

With brows scrunched, the redheaded child takes a few needed breaths. And when he speaks, it’s with a hoarser voice, eyes lifting up to meet theirs fearfully. (Banri can’t think of that as anything but genuine.)

“Kujou-san… Kujou Takamasa… He is dangerous.” Riku wheezes out. Tiny on their large couch, the young boy peers at them with lips that are quivering, eyes pinched with awful certainty, as if he has complete and utter faith in his words. “He will _definitely_ come for Re:Vale, because Re:Vale is talented.”

Riku turns to Banri. Banri’s frozen stiff under those red eyes which are terrified, _for him_.

“If you refuse him, he’ll definitely try to do something onstage. Maybe he’ll buy your staff over, or maybe he’ll get someone else to do it…I don’t really know, but… Even though this sounds unbelievable, please do something to make sure nobody sabotages your concerts.” Riku pursues his lips, looking serious.

“…And if we accept his offer?” Banri questions solemnly.

“Haha! You won’t.” Riku laughs weakly, as if it’s a ridiculous thought. He looks up at Yuki, a light-hearted smile coming to his face for the first time. “Yuki-san is a good person afterall!”

Oh, how long has it been since someone lasted through ten minutes without that impression being ruined? (Momo doesn’t count. Banri’s still contemplating a therapist for the mad dog’s severe Delusion Disorder even now. Yuki’s the last person anyone should contemplate using ‘gentleman’ as an adjective for.)

“Yuki-san won’t accept it, not when that man goes against everything Yuki-san believes in.” Riku states that like he knows it as a fact.

“…What’s up with that.” Yukito lightly scrunches his brow, disgruntled.

“Heheh.” Riku tilts his head with a small giggle. He sighs, still just a bit breathless, rising up to his feet. “That’s all I wanted to tell you. I’m sorry for interrupting your preparations. I’ll get going now—”  

“Ah, hold up! At least stay for the concert.” Banri calls out to him. He smiles in gratitude. “You’ve done us a favour by telling us this information. We could at least take care of our fan by letting you wait inside.”

“Eh?! But what about Momo-san?” Riku blinks, wide-eyed.

“Momo-san? Ah, you mean Momose-kun.” Banri scratches his temple, sweatdropping. “Momose-kun is… how do you say it? He’s a hardcore fan of ours. He can’t bear staying in close proximity with us, if you get what I mean.”

Nope. Riku doesn’t get it at all. Banri can tell from his bewildered look. He wouldn’t get it either, if he hadn’t seen the mad dog turn into a blushing maiden right before his eyes.

There’s a sharp click as Yukito puts down his cup noodles. It’s annoyingly authoritative.

“Next time, I want to hear a cover of ‘[We: The Incomplete](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YV9u_NvSeQk)’ from you.” Yukito gazes at Riku beseechingly.

“You’re really… Such a song maniac.” Banri turns his eyes heavenward. Why had he expected anything else from this guy? He tries, of course, to settle the youngster’s worries. Except, Banri’s stopped by that expression on Riku’s face.

A smile had blossomed on Riku’s face, looking almost as if he’s _pleased_ to hear such pompous words.

[He remembers that challenge coming from his sempai. Beyond Yuki’s bluntness, kindness, and his overwhelming love for his partners, Riku remembers that one line – _“Climb up to where we are.”_ And just hearing those words again, another task which Yuki is challenging him to, Riku can’t help but smile despite their circumstances.]

Banri gives in and drops his face into his palms. These two music geniuses are beyond salvage.

“I got it.” The redhead nods, determined.

They let him go, just like that.)

-

(In retrospect, if they knew what was going happen, Banri would never have let Yukito make such a promise with Nanase Riku.)

-

Megumi comes home one day with red-rimmed eyes and water on the cuffs of her shirt.

“Mom… Did something happen?” Tenn is the first one to point out.

Riku’s just remembering the first time this happened in his past.

Mom… _His_ mom from the future had often came home from work with those stains too, having washed away tear stains before she dared to step in through the entrance. It’s only around the two months mark that Mom stopped crying in secret and instead, sunk her face into her arms as she sobbed openly into the kitchen table (over Tenn-Nii). Dad, too, cried in silence once.

Megumi smiles at them, worn but loving.

“It’s nothing, Tenn, Riku.” She sinks to her knees. She pulls them into a shaky hug, trembling like a leaf. “It’s nothing.” She breathes.

Riku exchanges worried looks with his twin brother.

-

(Nanase Megumi is fired.

A huge elementary mistake was made on the job. Having fertilizers and insecticides switched around for a whole week when they should be changed daily – This fundamental and even sleezy mistake caused the store most, if not all, of its stocks. The owner was still threatening to press charges for the mistake when Megumi stepped out of the shop.

It’s a mistake that will forever stain her future employment records in this industry.)

-

(Rinse and repeat.)

-

Riku catches the sight of Nanase Akito one day around the park when he went there.

Seated in his suit on the bench, Akito was flipping through the news and circling job lists in a manner Riku was familiar to, after the shutting down of the club.

Realization hits him like a truck.

He quickly ducks behind some bushes before his father notices him, heart pounding, but not wanting to ruin his father’s dignity when Akito had still allowed Megumi to put his blazer onto his shoulders for him that morning, kissing him goodbye and smiling gently (melancholically) for his children.

“Daddy will do his best as well today!” Akito had punched the air with a fist, the way Megumi used to.

The out of character action coming from a normally indulgent but soft-spoken man earns a gasp from Megumi, and a cock of the head from Tenn.

“…Dad,” Tenn had begun. “It’s not good to eat weird things off the ground.”

Akito had flinched, even as Megumi clung onto his arm cheerfully.

“You’ll become like mom.” Tenn finished.

Riku smiles weakly when he sees his dad coming home from ‘work’ that evening. Akito allows his family the illusion of financial security.

-

(Nanase Akito is retrenched.

The exact cause of the retrenchment is uncertain. However, everyone knows that cooperation couldn’t afford to keep its workers during the financial recline. It’s just by luck that the new blood, still entirely fresh and yet to be given a chance to prove himself to the firm, was chosen to be sacked. It is an unfortunate circumstance.)

-

And so, the Nanase is left with zero sources of income. Again, the debt piles on.

Riku watches this happen with aggrieved eyes.

-

“Mom… I’m sorry.” He hugs his mother around the waist. It’s something he hadn’t done since he was twelve. (And he is twelve.)

“It’s not your fault, Riku.” Megumi strokes his hair with gentle motions, putting down the magazine she’d been thumbing through. She has on her reading glasses for job-searching.

“You’re wrong!” Riku bursts out. “It is my fault-!”

“Mommy was just too careless.” Megumi flicks his forehead. She smiles. “Don’t blame yourself for my mistakes. We’ll do something about this.”

“…that’s not what I’m saying…!” Riku’s face scrunches.

-

“…Dad. Is work tiring?” Riku asks.

“Nope. Dad’s just happy if your Mom and you guys are.” Akito says, flipping through a news Riku knows he’ll circle again later that day.

“…I’ll give you a massage!” Riku puts on his faux-cheer and rubs down the man’s back.

“That tickles, Riku!”

Riku laughs until he cries when the man turns on him with the tickling fest.

-

He watches Tenn sleep on nights where he coaxes Tenn to share a bed with him again.

Riku can’t imagine a family without them.

-

“Not singing today, Riku-kun?” The middle-aged housewife asks as she passes by.

“No, not today. Sorry!” Riku apologizes with a meek smile. “I’m waiting for someone.” He shares, because he wants to get that much out in case he goes missing.

The housewife tilts her head, inspecting his expression.

“There’s no need to be sorry, Riku-kun.” She ruffles through his hair. “Thanks for always cheering us up.”

And she goes off, with one more wave. Riku’s left lifting a hand up to his hair dazedly.

_Nanase-san, you’re always such an open book._

“You’re not wrong about that, Iori.” Riku mutters, lowering his head to his mother’s handmade scarf. Maybe, if he isn’t so tainted by longing for a time long gone, he might still reply to Iori’s jabs with equally rebellious words. But not now, when each and every single one of Idolish7’s words are so precious to him. (Can he even return back to them now? A single seed of doubt latches and stubbornly grows.)

“Sometimes, even _I_ wish I can lie better.”

“Are you reconsidering my offer?” Comes an amused, sly voice.

Riku stiffens. He glares up at the man when Kujou Takamasa comes up to him.

“Kujou-san.” Riku spits, seething silently. He can’t muster icy rage the same way Yaotome and his twin brother can. He can’t be physical with him either, unlike Tamaki and Tsunashi. But what Riku can do, is to at least stand up for himself. “Please stop playing around with my family like they’re your toys.”

“I wonder what you’re talking about.” Kujou says with a lapse, but there’s a clear knowing look in his eyes.

“You…!” Riku holds himself back before he can throw himself at the vulgar man. He can’t win a battle of strength. Not to mention, having an attack at this time would just be the worst.

Riku takes a long breath, ignoring the sting of winter. He breathes out, and he balls his fists as he glares at the man.

“…I’ve never laid a hand on your family before, Riku-kun.” Kujou drawls. It’s a greasy, even entertained voice that makes Riku want to hop into the bath and never come back out.

“ _Liar_ ,” The word comes before Riku realizes it’s a weak retort. Kujou’s smile glint with amusement. It frustrates the life out of Riku. “Why do you do this, Kujou-san?” His fists tighten. Riku pursues his lips and he steps forward resolutely. “Doing this… Constantly hurting others… and then taking people in. Just because people owe a debt to you, it doesn’t mean they’ll become your perfect vision of an idol!” Riku holds his ground. “Even idols have their own hearts!”

They’re catching the bypassers’ attention.

Riku doesn’t care in the least.

This man… He’s mistaken…! Idols are people too. They have their own emotions, and they should be allowed to feel sad when they’re sad, happy when they’re loved. They shouldn’t have to kill their emotions to stand onstage! And yet… this man… he’s treating people like they’re just there to be manipulated… Trying to systematically destroy everything around Riku the way he did with Tenn back then, and then extend a ‘helping’ hand when he’s in trouble…

Stop screwing with him! Riku’s not going to take that kind of treatment and go down asking for his help! And even if he does… Riku might just hate someone with every fibre of his being for the first time in both his lives.

“What an amusing accusation you make.” Kujou chuckles guilelessly into a hand. It makes the skin on Riku’s arms crawl. “You say that as if I’ve done it numerous times, Riku-kun.”

“That’s the truth afterall…!” Riku glares harder. Maybe he’ll combust if he tries hard enough…

“Not at all.” Kujou states merely. His moss deep eyes glint in satisfaction as he peers at Riku. Kujou even stretches out a hand conversationally. “Talent who are worth nurturing are truly rarer than you’d think. If I have to make an estimate, I’d say… once every few years?” His eyes crinkle. “Yes, that’s how paramount your talent is.”

“Y-You disgust me…” Riku takes a step back, shuddering.

“Whether you like me or not is of inconsequence to me.” Kujou scowls, deep lines on his face emphasizing the dark circles beneath his eyes. “You shall eventually understand it too – why I seek to give rise to a perfect idol who devotes themselves whole-heartedly to their fans. An idol who keeps the ball rolling without ever breaking away from my dream stage…!”

Riku grimaces away from the man. Really… He really is despicable.

“That’s right.” Kujou seems to recall something. “Speaking of idols, I am truly amazed.”

“I don’t understand what you’re saying.” Riku furrows his brows at him, confused.

“How had you managed to find out such information about me, Riku-kun? Even though not many knows who _haw8_ is publicly…” Kujou peers at him contemplatively, almost as if he’s gauging his worth from a new light.

Riku’s blood runs cold.

“I… I don’t…”

“Re:Vale.” Kujou pronounces. Like a snake tasting the syllables of its next meal. His lips curve into a delicate smile before Riku’s eyes. Riku’s suddenly plummeting once more into that sheer black abyss. Kujou’s eyeing down his next meal, and Riku’s breath won’t come. “You warned those boys about me, didn’t you? That’s why Yuki-kun refused me.”

Alarm. (What is that?) Horror. (What is that?) Guilt. (What is that?)

Riku plugs his mouth with his hand before anything could leave. He bends over the side of the wall he’s usually parked under, _heaving_ – what is that? _What was that?_ What did he do to… _Re:Vale_? **_WHAT DID HE DO?!_**

“Y…You…”

The world’s shaking. Riku’s shaking. His head is shaking side to side. His eyes are trembling in their sockets. He looks up at the man, taking one shaky step back. He’s amazed he’s still standing. (He’s amazed he’s still breathing.)

“You—” Riku breathes.

The air freezes him inside out.

“You didn’t.” He whispers.

Kujou peers at him pensively, shadows dancing across his pale face.

“I didn’t…?” The man encourages with a small smile, as if he’s innocent.

“You didn’t!” Riku yells at him. And then, he’s tearing down the street, forgetting that he can’t run. His lungs burn and he can’t breathe, and Riku numbly bows over to extract his inhaler and take a few painful deep breaths. And he continues on his way, even when the shadows threaten to close in on him from behind.

_‘Yuki-san…Banri-san…!’_

Around the street. Down the alleyway three blocks to the right. A single stairway heading down to the entrance.

There it is, Re:Vale’s concert venue.

He fishes the tickets out of his bag’s side pocket. He passes it to the receptionist, and he enters just as—

His world goes muted. For a heartbeat, Riku doesn’t recognize this scene.

The light fixture coming down from the top of that tall stage. No metal shrieking in pain as it snaps. There was just… complete silence, as Yuki looks up from where he’d been singing, confused. Banri is – Banri is screaming something as he dashes towards Yuki, pushing him out of the way. The light fixture is still dropping down, more and more—

_“LOOK OUT!”_

A crash that sounds different from the shattering of glass.

Silence, as Yuki looks up dizzyingly from where he’d been shoved aside, eyes wide.

The audience has gone silent from shock. Everyone… everyone doesn’t dare make a sound, or even a _breath_ as they watch this show gone wrong before them. Riku can’t stand it. He doesn’t think he can, not when standing on this side of this wreckage is equally horrible as it is being on the other side. His breaths come in hollow gasps. The air in the stuffy concert venue is probably dusty. But all that comes to Riku’s mind – all that he can think of – _How did Iori look like when I was like that? His calls_ —

“Ban… Ban…!” Yuki shakes Banri’s shoulders, eyes growing wider. “Wake up. Ban.” He smacks the other’s cheeks lightly and his fingers come off with red. “…Ban!”

_– had they sounded so frantic?_

“An ambulance…” Momo’s voice trails from the front of the audience. “Somebody… Ca—”

 _“—all the ambulance!”_ Yamato’s voice, overlapping with Momo’s.

And following up with that, Riku knows. He knows Kujou Takamasa is spotted. He knows Nagi leaps off the stage to take chase. He can feel Sougo’s desperate grip on his fingers as clear as if he’s really right there. Hear Iori’s cries as he reaches out and pulls back from Riku.

_“…why…did you save me…Nanase-san?”_

Before he even knew it, Riku is on the ground.

He doesn’t dare breathe.

Someone within the crowd begins to cry softly. Someone begs for Banri to be alright.

Riku can’t even muster the strength to beg.

“This is…” Kujou Takamasa’s voice trails up to him from behind. “…How truly unfortunate.”

‘How truly unfortunate’. …Is that all he has to say?

“If only Yuki-kun had accepted my offer… Surely, he wouldn’t have had to suffer like this.” Kujou makes it sound like it’s pitiable. As if… as if it’s not him who did this.

“W-Why… are you willing to go so far?” Riku’s trembling fingers gather up the fabric of his pants. Banri… Will he survive this? Riku didn’t. And if this is what he does to people who reject him… Riku shakily turns to look at Kujou Takamasa, horrified. “W-What would you do to my family if I don’t listen…?”

Kujou doesn’t reply.

He merely just smiles.

Riku shudders as he turns his head back to the front.

His hands are trembling, balled into fists on his lap.

(Did Tenn-Nii have to face this too…? No. He didn’t, did he? Because unlike Riku, Riku’s life had always been at the risk of death, and Tenn had always been facing these same odds. That’s why he didn’t hesitate to offer up himself.)

He thinks of his mother’s smile and his father’s sacrifices. He thinks of Tenn, who deserves a normal childhood after the last time he gave it up for Riku’s sake. Riku thinks of Idolish7 a-and – _and he can’t find himself able to think about them_ , not when that dream seems to be slipping through right out of his hands. Riku can’t sacrifice Tenn or Mom or Dad for Idolish7, when Kujou would – they would –

_“…ay with me…ase-san…don’t…ase-san—”_

_“Don’t ever leave my side.”_ Riku had said to Iori back then, during their promise in the midst of friends’ day. The memory makes Riku squeeze his eyes tight. _“Even if it’s for my sake. Just please, don’t do that.”_

In the end, he’d gone and left Iori’s side anyways. He broke their promise, and this time, yet again—

 _“Ban!”_ Yuki screeches on stage, voice going hoarse as the realization slowly dawns upon him that _Banri’s not responding, Banri’s going to—_

Pure black darkness. Distant sounds of an ambulance. Horrified, still silence.

Riku lowers his head, shuddering cold in realization of the decision he’s left with.

“I-I got it.” Riku’s voice sounds like a sob in his ears.

He gives up.

“I’ll come with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit 1: what do you think about pairings? GakuRiku? Ioriku? Or none?  
> Edit 2: Nobody...is responding. Nobody likes this chapter. This sucks.


	5. The Start of Four Years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> > _"A young woman, humbly accepting bouquets of flowers, smiling from ear-to-ear at the finale– she was a wife, whose husband had died suddenly. When the sky is falling down and the whole world is in despair, it is our job to smile, to sing. That’s what Kujou-san taught me. I thought that Kujou-san was right, more so than our parents. That’s why I followed him."_
>> 
>> _\- Kujou Tenn,[Part 2 C5.2](http://seigyokus.tumblr.com/post/143953032249)_  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly speaking, I was hesitant about putting the preview for this chapter but I decided this chapter is still necessary.
> 
> I needed to show several things here, namely: how Tenn takes Riku's leaving, Riku's developing relationship with Kujou, some examples of Riku's training (so we don't have to suffer through the entire painful four years), and also, even though this may not appeal to most, the POV from one of the trainers. You'll figure out why later.
> 
> This isn't exactly a chapter to be excited about so I'm mostly just putting it out there to get over and done with. But it'll be nice if you guys hang around for the ride.

(7am, wake up. 8am, get to school. 11am, lunch. 3pm, get ready for the student council meeting. And 7pm, get home after Riku.

This is the daily life of Nanase Tenn, a routine which he doesn’t intend on changing (no matter how much his brotherly instincts tingle on his senses about Riku’s whereabouts; between Tenn and their parents’ stifling protectiveness, Riku deserves that much breathing room.)

That day, just like normal, Tenn wrapped up the meeting with a simple conclusion. He walked home, sparing no time to play with the neighbourhood stray that ambled up to him; Riku’s weak to animal fur. And just like any other day, Tenn arrives home with a mechanical click of the metal knob. He fully expects Riku to be there with his parents.

“I’m home.” A soft whisper. Some days, Riku will nap. He doesn’t want to wake him.

There is no aroma filling the air. No smell of curry. No telling humming as Mother burns her way through whatever concoction she’s making. Absently, Tenn wonders if they’re having take-outs today.

“Mother, Father, how was work to—” The words hadn’t finish making their way out before Tenn falls silent.

Red-rimmed carnelians are buried away in calloused palms. Her thin shoulders shake, wrecked, in the grip of strong palms that cradle her like a baby in their embrace. Yet even then, when Father looked up from his inconsolable Mother, Tenn spots traces of tear tracks on a bespectacled face well-hidden by the dim light of the room.

Tenn pauses. He’s lost, as to how to proceed for a moment. (Things would be easier if Riku is here to talk things out.) In the end, he settles for lowering his schoolbag to the side, tracking up to them with ambivalent steps.

“Did something…happen?” He asks, voice carefully quiet.

Father gives him a silent look of grief.

It’s Mother who answers though, sobbing into her palms.

“Riku is… Riku is—!”

Tenn’s world freezes over in response to those words.)

-

_“Riku-kun, you’ll catch a cold like that.”_

Someone moves to tuck him in. He recognizes that voice.

 _“…When he’s sleeping, he really does seem younger than he is… I think I understand Iori-kun a bit more now,”_ A faint chuckle. A soft musing, as if talking to himself.

_“Alright. Shall I make coffee for everyone else now?”_

That voice… He is—

“—Sougo-san?!” Riku jolts awake. His legs hit something in the small space, and there’s a faint grumbling coming from up front. “A-Ah – sorry-!”

Blue eyes greet him when the stranger turns to give an irritated look. Nagi flashes at the back of his head, except – this person’s blonde hair is three shades too dark and slick back with gel.

The hard look in icy blue eyes dies off at his frightened gulp. The stranger murmurs something inaudible but no less irritable as he turns back to the front.

Riku hears the flipping of papers. He hears dozens of people going about their day. Teacups clink as they’re handed by the stewardess to sleepy passengers.

A slew of incomprehensible words is directed at him by a pleasant, low female voice.

To Riku’s complete dread, there is a stewardess standing by his side when he turns, her smile warm and hair neatly tucked into a small bun behind her.

 _‘English is important.’_ He remembers overhearing Iori lecture a whining Tamaki once upon a time. _‘Eventually, when our activities go beyond the borders of Japan, you’ll find it an imperative skill in interacting with our international fans.’_

( _‘That’s if we even have any international fans,’_ Tamaki had deadpanned, nibbling on a cookie as he turned away from his strict tutor. Privately, even if he knows they’re aiming for otherwise, Riku had agreed.)

Now, seated on an airplane seat with no Kujou Takamasa in sight, Riku writhes and contorts in evident pain as he peers up at the smiling stewardess. His fingers twitch as he holds them up, not knowing how to speak even with his hands. Uhhh… What kind of English words had Nagi used again? Riku’s eyes are swirling as he stammers out the few words he remembers from a decade-old memory.

“Uhh… _my lady…_ _hello… yes_ uh _n-no_ …….?” The result is a terrible mix.

The stewardess’s eye twitched at his first one.

Yeah, right! Of course! Riku would have figured too! Why was ‘ _my lady’_ the first one to come up? Nagi, it’s all your fault! Because of you, the stewardess thinks even twelve-year-olds are trying to pick her up, doesn’t she?!

The stewardess repeats something in English.

“ _Excuse me—”_ That one, Riku can understand. The rest, not so much.

A low, smooth voice intervenes then, spewing gibberish.

Riku is split between feeling relieved and hateful as Kujou Takamasa returns from, presumably, the lavatory. He murmurs something to the stewardess.

Carnelian eyes twitches without pause as he watches the snake charm his way into the poor woman’s heart. (Don’t believe him! This guy’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing!) He stiffens, aggression not abating, when Kujou leans in towards him and murmurs softly,

“She is asking whether you’d like some juice or soda.”

Riku blinks slowly. He turns to see the stewardess who offers a courteous smile to him. He smiles back, albeit hesitantly.

“Is it possible to just have warm water?” Riku conveys to Kujou – cordially, if only for the sake of the poor woman watching their conversation. Every cell within him bulks at the crinkle of Kujou’s eyes. Riku grits his teeth and continues with a fake smile. “My throat is just slightly parched from the dry air. Ah, if they don’t, then normal water is fine too!” He doesn’t want to trouble the staff too much.

“I’ll ask.” Kujou turns back to the woman, murmuring in silken English.

Riku just hates how cool he seems then, able to converse in a different language. He’ll have to learn soon too, if he doesn’t want to be completely dependent on this guy while overseas. (Damn it, Iori… Your words are coming true again, aren’t they?)

“She says it’ll take a while.” Kujou slides back into his seat beside Riku.

As petty as it is, Riku makes a show of inching as much as possible away from him in his seat. Kujou’s lips curve in amusement.

“Do you really hate me so much?”

“I do!” Riku glares. “Who wouldn’t, after what you did to me? Mom and Dad…” Riku’s fists ball up with the effort to not cry. His eyes are still swollen after how much he’d sobbed in the privacy of Kujou’s guest room thereafter. “…They cried so much as they signed the document.”

The tears had slid down Megumi’s lowered eyes at the thorny reminders of her failures. Still, she’d looked at Riku with so much love, so much hope. It’d hurt. Riku could only squeeze his eyes shut and try to stomp out as much of it as possible. But even through it all, Akito had watched him with flared nostrils and a pensive look. Riku hadn’t known what that look meant.

“It’s all your fault.” Riku repeats fervently.

“Even if you say that, if I recall correctly, you were the one who caused them that much anguish.” Riku’s face morphs with the reminder of his act.

“That’s because you forced me to--!”

“Your water is here.” Kujou interrupts.

The stewardess is peering at them with a faintly surprised look. She quickly schools her expression into careful passiveness and brings the cup to him, topping it off with the standard breakfast.

“…I don’t want it.” Riku eyes the eggs and sausages, pained. They’re not Mom’s.

“Riku-kun,” Kujou sighs.

“I’m tired.” Riku slumps like a doll with its strings cut, leaning against the side of the plane.

“Do I need to remind you of what’s at stake?” Kujou asks sharply, cutting into a sausage. Riku bets it’s the same as how he cut into Re:Vale, Tenn, and alongside the many idols he’s adopted and abandoned along the way. Come in, scramble them up, pretend to be a lifesaver, and when those idols appear to lack talent or refuse him, just grind them to bits, the same way he did Re:Vale. “Compromising your own wellbeing when your health and condition was signed over is a violation of the contract.”

“…gh…” Riku wipes his eyes. He picks up his fork.

“That’s the way, Riku-kun.” Look at him gloat.

“You better not touch any of my family again.” Riku scowls, stabbing a piece of bacon.

“Of course. There’s no reason to since I have you.”

“And also… Fix Banri-san’s scar.” Riku pushes for more.

“Naturally. I don’t keep a habit of wrecking things beyond salvage without intending to put them back together again.” Kujou begins eating, fingers prim all the while.

“You can say that, but…” Riku presses his fork harder into the paper plate, carnelians darkening into garnets. He shakes lightly as he remembers that light fixture dropping down on Banri. (He had been in Banri’s place. Now, look at where he is?)

A silver of self-loathing stings Riku’s taste buds the same way the heat of the airplane food does. His parents… Megumi had cried so much, but… Riku had properly deceived them, right? They believe his lie about them being a burden (never. Never, ever. Riku had screamed on the inside as he said those words) in the pursuit of his dream of becoming an entertainer? (He wishes they don’t. Megumi and Akito has never been cumbersome. But Megumi’s carnelians shone like jewels, dewy with tears when he’d spat that word. She’d covered her lips with her palms and tears tracked down her cheeks as she reached out. _“I know… I haven’t been the best Mom on earth, Riku. But even so—”_ ) (She believed him. Full-heartedly. And he still shook her off.)

Tenn… Riku lowers his gaze, pained. He hopes that when Tenn-Nii hears about this, he won’t hate him the way he did him.

Kujou clears his throat.

Riku startles, slipping right back into plastering himself all over the side of the airplane.

“It’s been occurring to me since before,” Moss green eyes slid over, thoroughly entertained. “But now that your name is on the family registry, I find it only appropriate that we start addressing each other by the proper honorifics.”

What is he-…

Carnelian eyes widen in horror.

“No.” He breathes.

“You may refer to me as ‘Dad’.” Kujou says with a flourish, as if he’s not announcing the world’s gravest news. “Or if that’s not to your liking, ‘Father’ would also be acceptable. ‘Uncle’ is fine as well.” Kujou waves a hand in emphasis. “If it floats your boat, whilst it is not the most preferable, you may also address me as ‘Nii-san’—”

Riku’s sure he saw Kujou pronounce that one word in slow motion just now.

Carnelians bulge to the size of dinner plates. Riku hugs himself, shuddering in disbelief.

“E-Enough!” He interrupts. “That’s enough!”

Kujou stops. He inclines his head in Riku’s direction.

Riku feels sick. Is this Kujou’s idea of teasing? His sense of humour is twisted.

“Takamasa-san.” Riku whispers, darkening carnelians meeting moss green which held a glimmer of satisfaction in them. “That’s enough, Takamasa-san.”

Kujou – Takamasa, Riku corrects, ignoring the shiver of disgust. He’s going to have to get used to calling the slimy man by his name now – smiles pleasantly and picks up his fork. Riku shudders to think of what the next four years will be like, when the last few hours in Takamasa’s company was pure torture. (Even to the other unsuspecting passengers of the flight, they seem like an unlikely pair.)

-

(“But you don’t believe Riku’s words.” Tenn observes detachedly.

Mother sniffles, a delicate, questioning sound slips out of her. Father watches her with his arm still propped around her shoulders. With a nearly imperceptible nod, he turns pink ombres on Tenn. Where Mother has always been soft, a party-animal and a social butterfly, Father is a quietly perceptive man who learnt to keep his opinions to himself.

“I don’t believe him.” Father agrees.

Mother’s eyes grow wide. She turns to Father, pulling out of his grip to aim an incredulous look at him.

“But if you didn’t… Why did you…? Why did we-?” Betrayal. Grief. Regret. All of it crosses her face in a split second. Father answers before it escalates.

“That man, Kujou Takamasa. He’s the one who made us lose our jobs.” A single factual statement. Father is direct to the point.

“What…? But…why…?” Mother watches him with wide, uncomprehending eyes.

“Because he wants Riku.” Father turns his gaze back to Tenn. His voice is low, betraying his seething anger. Tenn meets his gaze unyieldingly where the average man might have flinched at his glare. “That man used us as leverage to threaten Riku with. I don’t know what other method he might have used to convince my son, but Riku was convinced enough to pull through with his act regardless of how much you cried.”

Father’s gaze softens when it flickers to his wife. Megumi’s scarlet locks are still matted to her tear-stricken face. She’s watching them both, eyes bewildered.

“Perhaps, that is a testament to how much power that man held over us.” Father concludes.

His voice carries over, full of weight.

Tenn watches this scene with astute eyes. He doesn’t know how Riku has viewed their father (Riku has always leaned more towards Megumi), but this is their father, at his full capacity.

A sharp, keen observer who pinpoints finer details with aptitude, Nanase Akito had always been the final one the family deferred to, even if Mother appears to make the most decisions. On the surface, Father may seem like a soft, meek man with tender smiles reserved for his children. But at the same time, one mustn’t forget this is the same man who worked three jobs to pay off Riku’s medical fees.

(The only reason the club failed was because it was doomed to begin with, Akito once confided in Tenn. It was on that fateful night when their family finally pulled themselves together. Tenn was going to get some water after Riku fell asleep. The location, the shifting interest of the public, the neighbourhood, each and everything. Nothing was to their advantage. The only reason why Akito kept sludging on was because Megumi loved the club they met at with all her heart.)

( _“But it seems like she finally found something she loves more.”_ Father had said with a smile in his eyes, directed at Tenn.)

Tenn’s once more reminded of that memory when he sees that look coming back to Father’s eyes, as determined as he is sombre.

(His family’s more capable than this… Kujou Takamasa…thinks.)

“What should we do to get Riku back?” Tenn breaks the silence with the only question that matters. Because it shines true, whether in Mother’s eyes or Father’s or even in his own—“Riku is no longer on the family registry, right?”

Mother lowers her head miserably at the reminder. Father strokes her shoulder.

“I don’t know, but… we’ll eventually run into Riku again.”

Father pursues his lips at the word ‘eventually’. It means an unspecified duration. That’s far too long, in Tenn’s eyes.

“That man,” Two pairs of pink ombres clash with each other. One’s contemplative. “He said he was training Riku to be the best idol.”)

(‘Idol’… Tenn stays awake through the night. What a ridiculous notion.

Still, he finds himself walking into Riku’s room in the cold of the night. Father and Mother are still talking in the living room. Nobody will be having any sleep tonight.

With pink ombres focused on the span of Riku’s study desk, Tenn lifts a hand and takes a step forward. And without hesitation, he begins riffling through Riku’s belongings.

Eight.

That was how old they were when Riku began singing out on the streets. Tenn knew, because he’d secretly followed him after his advance classes got cancelled once. And he’d listened, stunned, from a distance as Riku poured his heart out into every intonation and note.

Initially, Tenn had been concerned. But as time slid by, it occurred to him how _happy_ Riku was. Tenn rarely, if ever, saw a genuine smile from Riku anymore back then. But from that moment on, it was as if life was returning back to the empty shell Riku was slowly becoming.

And so, Tenn had allowed it.

If he knew it’d attract unwanted attention to begin with, he would never have allowed Riku to leave his side. He would have kept Riku by his side, asked him to sing whenever he wants in front of him, and quitted the student council to walk Riku home every day if that’s what’s necessary to keep Riku safe. If he was a more responsible brother.

(Again… He’s becoming a failure of a brother.)

Tenn redirects his self-loathing into his actions.

Tenn doesn’t know how long he spent searching. He doesn’t know what he’s searching for either. There must be something Riku left. He knows his younger brother didn’t spend all those hours doing nothing—

Tenn swivels and he knocks into a pink notebook.

Something slips out, surprisingly not trailing too far off. Tenn pauses at the dark glossy paper that carries tell-tale white lines of crumpling.

_[Re:Vale]_

It spells, silver and blocky-lettered, a single white feather trailing at the back illuminated by the gradient of soft rainy white fading into black. It should be tacky, yet it’s anything but, even slightly grand with its simplicity.

Tenn’s breath shudders as he trails his fingers over the word.

“Re:Vale…” His voice fills the empty room for the first time since Riku left. It comes strangled. Tenn feels like he’s intruding, without Riku’s laughter and cheer here.

Pink ombres flicker.

His pointer finger settles over the small hole punched into the side of the ticket, indicating it’s been used.

He doesn’t know how much of what Riku told their parents is false, but just one thing is true: Riku has always been a musician. He probably would have left Tenn either ways in becoming one. (And no matter how forlorn it would have left him, Tenn would – _might_ – probably have accepted Kujou taking Riku under an apprenticeship if not for the way he’d gone about it.)

Tenn knows what he needs to do. A plan begins grafting itself in his mind.)

-

 _“…ku-kun…Riku-_ kun!”

Riku jolts awake at the cold of night, misty air adrift from his lips.

Kujou Takamasa is peering down at him with his snake-like moss-green eyes. His gut churns at the distraught reminder that this is the man who killed him; that this is the man who did all those things to Re:Vale, single-handedly, unrepentantly.

Wrapping arms close around his own body with a shiver, Riku pulls back from his grip.

Dark buildings surround them outside the black of Takamasa’s car. The street is dimly lit, yellowish warm lights hinting to the red of the bricks.

“Where… is this?” Riku pursues his lips, disorientated.

Takamasa draws to his fullest height.

“Where else but our home for the next couple of months?” The slant of his eyes appears to curve in amusement at Riku’s befuddlement. “Follow me, Riku-kun. I’m sure she must be at the limits of her patience. Ah, if you like, would you like me to hold your hand too? Just like with the crowd back at the airport?” Takamasa inclines his head politely, but the whites of his teeth shows his intentions.

“Absolutely no way.” Riku rejects forcefully. He’s rapidly learning to do this step and dance with Takamasa.

The man only smiles wider, enjoying his reactions.

Riku averts his head away to not feel sick. Clumsy steps are taken after Takamasa, toddling up a short stairway to a house that looks small but cosy. Takamasa raps on the door twice. Riku counts up to ten seconds, the winter cold still stinging his lungs, when the door opens.

Doe-like aquamarines steal Riku’s attention at first glance. They’re ice-cold. Expressive, like Yamato’s, yet somehow as equally distant as Yamato had been way back in the beginning. With a headful of gold that flows down the small of her back in dazzling waves, the woman in her mid-twenties scowls up at Takamasa. Short, clipped words escape her lips in absolute displeasure.

_“You’re—”_

And something.

Riku’s gotten the importance of English punched into him from depending on Takamasa for a full day, okay? Doesn’t make him any less miserable to not understand a possible curse directed at his most hated person.

Takamasa chuckles, a hand politely covering his lips. He spins pretty tales in that foreign tongue of his, as purposefully mesmerizing as back on the flight.

By the looks of the disgruntled look those aquamarine eyes hold, the stranger feels every bit of the exasperation-slash-disgust-slash-inclination-towards-violence that just seems to be the universal standard reaction to one Kujou Takamasa. Ah, fangirls don’t count, of course.

Folding her arms when Takamasa’s done with his spell, the blonde taps her feet impatiently and mutters cross words in rapid succession.

Takamasa, to Riku’s confusion, only chuckles again.

The woman seems completely exasperated at this point. That’s totally understandable. Up till the point where she looks over at Riku and she looks contemplative anyways. Then, she’s stalking back into her house with a backwards wave for them to enter, remarking more words offhandedly in that foreign language of hers.

Takamasa’s still donning that sardonic smile as he slips in, closing the door behind Riku. Riku hopes the woman knows how much of a mistake this is, to let this malicious snake into her living space.

“What do you think of her?” It takes a moment to remember his Japanese and not just random gibberish.

Riku lifts his eyes to Takamasa – who’s, again, smiling in that foxy manner of his.

“…She seems like a good person,” Riku reluctantly answers. That’s almost his standard impression of anyone (even Kujou, should they go back by around twenty years in time). “That person… She’s the prettiest person I’ve ever seen. Who is she?”

Takamasa chuckles lowly, muttering something under his breath that Riku desperately hopes his sharp ears might have mistaken. “You are at that age afterall” is the last thing he wants to hear coming from Takamasa. The man had every parenting skill wrong from the get-go, starting with coercion.

“Lilia G. Smith. That’s her name.” Takamasa makes himself at home, crossing the carpeted floor to sink into one couch. Riku hesitantly settles close by. “Winner of The Dance Awards for three years in a row at age 15, she went on to conquer the music industry by a storm and won the Grammy’s for the producer of the year for another five consecutive years. Even now, nearly a full decade after her debut, she’s a big name in the industry. And,” He mentions offhandedly. “She owes me a debt.”

A smack comes down on the back of Takamasa’s head.

Riku’s caught between celebrating and being horrified for the poor woman when Takamasa merely recovers his bearings, a smooth smile plastered over his lips but a very present glimmer in his eyes.

Lilia rolls her eyes and shoves a steaming mug in his face. She mutters something in English, which gives Takamasa a pause. He smiles and takes a sip from his mug.

Riku stiffens under the icy aquamarines which turn to appraise him. A mug of hot chocolate’s offered tentatively. Riku nervously squeaks out a frantic “Thanks”, dipping his head all the way to be polite. The blond woman nods stiffly and turns back to Takamasa, murmuring something in a language totally lost on Riku again.

The redhead slumps, shoulders drooping in disappointment of this same thing repeating again. He really got to learn some English soon…

 _“—Watashi wa Baka desu.”_ The words slip from Takamasa’s lips mid-conversation. _“Soshite, Takamasa desu.”_

Riku jolts back to attention, back straightened in disbelief. He eyes the snake from his position on the couch. Did he really just hear him said that? That he’s an _idiot_?

Lilia returns a brusque nod.

She settles into the couch beside Riku, extending a hand that’s all formality.

_“Watashi wa Baka desu. Soshite, Lilia G. Smith desu.”_

It’s all smooth with the thickest accent in the world, but Lilia does it with a confidence that makes her hard to doubt.

Riku peers up at her with the widest eyes, breath held abate. Something sparks in ice cold aquamarines. He hurriedly takes her hand in his grip, shaking it jerkily with a bow.

“I-I’m Nanase Riku! Nice to meet you, Lilia-san!” And as her fingers close over his, Riku gets some confidence in him to look up at her eyes and point an accusing finger at Takamasa. “You’re not an idiot in any way at all! Takamasa-san tricked you, I think-!”

It’s at this point that Takamasa buries his snickers under a hand which hides his face, dropping his head back on the head of the couch. Lilia grabs a cushion from Riku’s side and aims it at Takamasa’s face. It hits with a loud _swop!_ Even if Riku doesn’t know what to make of this woman, who’s slated to become his first teacher, he gets the feeling they’ll bond well over their mutual dislike of Kujou Takamasa.

-

(Her name is Lilia G. Smith. Widowed wife of Benjamin G. Smith. The Mother who was not meant to be of Layla G. Smith. An award-winning dancer and producer of the generation.

Lilia G. Smith.

In the not so distant past, she owed a debt to Takamasa Kujou for pulling out of a film last minute to grieve over her husband and unborn child. Lilia swears she won’t do that again, not when Takamasa calls in favors that are more trouble than they’re worth. He brings along a small redheaded boy with doe-like eyes that shine like drops of carnelians, flaming red framing the small heart-shaped face not unlike the way flickers of embers licked up her husband’s clothes moments before the vehicle erupted into a starburst of flying metal and lethal gas. He asks her to teach him. Even though she still hears Layla’s cries in her dreams sometimes, ringing loud and clear.

(It’s not even been a full three months since the accident.) (She still sees Layla in the other children. In the redheaded Asian boy Takamasa brings with him.)

Riku Kujou strides right up to join her by the sink even though Takamasa retires to the guestroom. He takes a moment to notice her questioning look. He shakes his head, sticking his tongue out with a delicate wrinkle of his nose. (And Lilia’s sent through a maelstrom of memories, mind confusing between reality and the silent whispers of _what could be_ _of Layla--_ )

Riku murmurs something. Lilia can only gather it’s got to do with his disgust of Takamasa.

He points at her mug and she blinks.

 _“…You want to clean it.”_ She concludes, voice flat at his consideration.

The child pays it no mind, gently plucking it out of her grip with a shy smile and wiping the mug down.

What an odd, polite child. She wonders whose cradle Takamasa stole him from. And she’s lurched back into turbulent thoughts of mothers whose children are stolen from them – has to remind herself to stop running to conclusions without evidence, because Benjamin had always told her it’s a bad habit of hers.)

-

Ever since then, as if someone has pressed an accelerator on Riku’s life, the days pass by in rapid succession.

-

(The seasons slip by unchecked. Everyday passes agonizingly in the absence of her two most important people. Lilia drowns herself in work to snuff out the pangs of longing, but she still can’t be happy to see the redheaded child every morning.)

-

Takamasa teaches him English.

“Just like the Japanese language, there are many variations of words we use to describe the same emotions. ‘ _Happy’_ for instance, would be a more muted form compared to, per say, ‘ _Exhilarated’_ or even _‘Jubilant’_. Take note that some of these forms may be a strain between multiple emotions across the chart you’re looking at.”

And what a basic chart this is, containing just happy, sad, and angry faces. Riku really does feel seven again.

“’ _Conflicted’_ for instance could be a match between any of these. But we’ll learn those at a later stage. For now, why don’t you try coining a sentence with these new emotions?”

Riku looks at the section under the angry face and chooses the strongest one. He eyes Takamasa’s face and takes a shaky breath, attempting to will all his emotions into this one line.

“ _’I Ballistic you.’_ ” He spits hatefully.

“I believe the proper term you’re searching for is ‘ _despise’_ , meaning the most intense version of dislike, Riku-kun.” Takamasa’s thin lips quirk up into the most agitating amused smile Riku has ever seen. “On a sub note, let’s revise our adjectives and verbs from the top once again, shall we? You clearly require more practice in this area.”

Riku groans and drops his head on the table. What he wouldn’t give for Iori to tutor him instead.

-

(Lilia contacts her agency to accept as much production and filming work as possible for her; She has to escape this house of hers.

Still, she doesn’t know what to do when on the third day since they’ve taken over her living quarters, Riku comes up to her with a sweet but hesitant smile on his face. He shuffles unsurely on his feet as she reluctantly prepares breakfast for three (Takamasa, that ungrateful snake). Tries to help out much to her dismay, in that clumsy, not so helpful manner of his. And finally, as Lilia hands over the dishes with an order for him to set the tables, he abashedly ducks his head.

 _“Thanks, Lilia_ -san! Ah, and also, _good morning!”_

Lilia stands in the same spot for several heartbeats.

She may not know a word of Japanese, but that had most definitely been some words in her native tongue.)

-

“ _And one and two and three and four and five and six and seven and eight—”_

Lilia’s graceful as a swan as she goes through the steps of the dance, demonstrating each step with a clear image of how she wants it.

She drops her clasped hands at the end, stepping elegantly from where she’d been standing to gesture Riku over to the spot.

Riku steps right up, brows scrunched up hard as he tries to put each of these steps to his paper-thin memory of Idolish7’s choreographies. It’s easier, he’d learnt back with Tamaki, to do it when you’re just coining back the things you’ve already learnt.

Unfortunately for Riku, he’s never bothered to relearn these dances early on in this life.

He tumbles, and Lilia’s mere _look_ is enough to bring back the trauma from Music Festa.

“ _S-Sorry_! I’m sorry, I said!” He leaps back up on his feet, trying his best to emulate her gestures.

 _“And one and two and three and four and—”_ Lilia stops her clapping with a huff, shaking her head as she takes her place by his side to painstakingly run him through the eight moves, step by step. She pounds into him all the basics within a day. (She’s the frightening teacher here, Riku learns.)

-

(He’s atrocious, understandably so; Takamasa’s a sadist.

Lilia takes a huge breath and guides Riku into the hand slant again. This time, she repeats it silkier than he did, to emphasize the gracefulness the move is supposed to convey. She looks him in the eye, frustrated by the lack of a common language they could use.

 _“Do it, with the image of a curtain ruffled by a faint breeze.”_ She demonstrates it correctly again, before scrunching her brows. _“You’re not a barbarian. Don’t do it like Takamasa would.”_ She copies the way he’d been performing it.

Riku’s face scrunches up, even if he doesn’t understand the metaphor. Lilia learns that ‘Takamasa’ is in itself a whole world of language useful for his negative connotation.

The walk home from the practice room is slow but comfortable.

 _“Lilia_ -san,” The boy has his try at English again. He’s got a faint flush on his face, courtesy of the winter cold. But determination appears to be the boy’s redeeming feature, if nothing else. “ _You…eto…dance…good.”_

Fumbling with his words, Riku settles for looking down at his gloved hands before brandishing a thumbs-up at her. The downturn of his lips into a ‘^’-shape from absolute certainty is adorable, so much that Lilia forgets herself for a moment and reaches out to swat the top of his head.

She catches herself thereafter, when doe-like carnelians widen and his lips fall open from shock, gawping up at her.

 _“The proper language is, ‘You dance well.’”_ Lilia corrects for him. She pulls back her hands and stuff them in her pockets. _“You dance terribly, Riku.”_ She tells him, and he blanches, offended, sulking a little as he mutters something back at her in whiny Japanese.

…This is all so terribly reminiscent of Benjamin, who was like a chickling she’d raised from his momma’s nest till he partnered her and took on the dance industry by a storm. The faintest tugs on the edges of her lips dies away. She misses Riku’s concerned glance. Lilia dutifully brings Riku home before running away from her problems again.)

-

“How was practice with Lilia?” Takamasa looks distinctively like he’s trying hard not to chuckle.

“How do you think it went?” Riku questions bitterly, tiptoeing to add more pepper to the broth. Cooking’s the least he could do for the blonde dancer, he’d thought, after watching Lilia dash out to get to her job. Neither of them has the slightest desire to try out Takamasa’s concoctions, he’s sure.

“Seeing how you’re still standing, I’m actually thinking of adding another class to the mix.” Takamasa smiles.

“………” Riku is normally an optimistic boy, but even he has to resist the urge to poison Takamasa’s portion.

-

(Riku collapses mid-practice, and it takes all Lilia has to not scream that night, curled up in her couch with dishevelled hair tumbling over her shoulders. Aquamarines bore out, lidded with whatever remains of mascara she’d not bothered to wash out. Takamasa closes the guest room behind him with an audible click. He pauses by the hallway when he sees her.

 _“Why me?”_ She asks, resigned. Her voice is barely a whisper in the living room. _“Why of all people did you pick me to teach Riku? You’ve got plenty of others who’re indebted to you, don’t you?”_

It makes no sense, unless it’s his version of mind-fuckery. And Lilia, who’s dealt with plenty of similar characters in the industry throughout her career, knows quite a lot about that.

Takamasa gazes at her blandly, answering in that same honest manner she’s always seen from him.

_“You are the best one suited to teaching Riku-kun.”_

_“Bullshit.”_ Lilia hunches over, hair falling into her eyes. She grimaces, lips twisting downwards in an ugly almost smile-like motion. _“I almost killed that kid, Takamasa. If he didn’t have his inhaler on him at that time, and if there wasn’t a clinic right down by the street…”_

 _“You are the best to teach him.”_ Takamasa repeats, like he’s broken.

_“Are you listening to yourself—”_

_“You are the best one to teach him about the realities of the entertainment industry.”_ She sees that glaze settling over Takamasa’s eyes again when she looks up. She grimaces. He’s been delusional ever since Zero went missing. _“You’re the perfect example of an entertainer who keeps to their job even if the world is tearing into pieces around them, Lilia. You’re necessary, to teach that boy to smile through his difficulties, to live for the audience—”_

 _“Am I really?”_ She meets his gaze challengingly. Because Lilia knows, better than anyone, that she’s not. That she’s just been using work as an excuse to run away from the nagging emptiness on the inside, and – she’s really _not_.

 _“Yes.”_ Takamasa answers. Lilia thinks she sees the same thing in him as she used to see in herself. Maddening hunger for unreachable success, clouding his vision of everyone around him, until Benjamin’s gone, gone, _gone,_ and Layla – poor Layla – is killed off before she’s even born.

Lilia’s breath hitches as she retires to her room. She passes by the guestroom – Riku’s room – on the way. She sees him sleeping it off. She doesn’t want to teach him anymore.

(Afterall, if she’s already driven her husband to death, killed her daughter still-born, who’s to say she wouldn’t drive her student to hell too-?))

-

“Riku-kun, your voice is good. It’s really good.” In choppy Japanese, Ra In-Ho – an up and coming young music producer with a love for baggy jeans and hoodies – gets his point across. Riku watches him scratch the side of his head with the end of his pen. (He absently wonders why Lilia’s not the one teaching him music. She’s a producer too, right?) “It’s just… How should I put it—”

“When I’m all by myself, I don’t sing the same.” Riku follows his thoughts, focusing on the task.

“Oh. You’re aware of it?” In-Ho lowers his pen, startled.

“Yes.” He lowers his head. It was a problem that he once had to deal with Idolish7 too, behind the scenes. It wasn’t until everyone assured him that they were listening that he was able to overcome it, if only in hopes of bringing smiles onto their faces. (Even if they’re on the same group – _because_ they’re on the same group – that’s why it’s important to do that.) But now that he’s really in the recording room by himself, that problem is resurfacing.

In-Ho sighs, face scrunching as he puts down his pen.

“Normally, I’d bring more people into the studio for cases like this, but it’s tough when you’re Hyung’s secret project.” The word makes Riku want to balk, even if it’s true. “So… Instead of doing that, how about this?”

In-Ho claps his hands on Riku’s shoulders, startling the redhead.

“Close your eyes when you’re singing, and imagine the reactions of the crowd you’re facing.” Obsidian eyes peer into carnelians, drawing them in. “A recording is in the end the best medium possible for delivering your voice to tens of thousands, if not millions of people who don’t have the slightest idea of your group when you debut. It’s the best chance you’ve got to make them feel what you want them to feel. Just imagine the reactions of those people on the other side of the recording.”

A small triumphant grin slips onto In-Ho’s face in time with his awkward Japanese.  

“See? You’re smiling. Do you feel like recording now?” He flicks Riku’s side bangs.

Riku catches himself. He hadn’t even realized that.

“Ah… Yes!” He beams.

-

(“ _Lilia-_ san?” Riku’s face is concerned.

It speaks volumes of how terribly she’s failed, if Riku of all people is concerned for her. Perhaps, if time’s turned back to before the accident, Lilia might smile to ease his worries. But now, there’s nothing left but a dead-eyed stare. (There are no cameras around to film her.)

“ _Lilia-_ san—” He frowns, muttering something indiscernible under her look. She catches Takamasa’s name. She hunches a bit more, hands stuck in her pockets.

 _“You’re speaking in Japanese again, Riku.”_ She points out half-heartedly.

Riku stops abruptly. He looks frustrated at himself. He reaches out, and Lilia’s hardly shaken as tiny gloved hands slide over the span of her arm, tugging on her slightly.

 _“Lilia_ -san. _”_ Riku begins, a conflicted look on his face. Gnawing on his lips, the troubled expression gradually slides away to give way for something more determined. A glimmer of resolution sparks in his eyes, so sudden she could only wonder what’s going on in that little red head of his. She reckons she wouldn’t understand anyways if she gets in there. It’s all gibberish to her.

 _“Don’t – don’t be sad!”_ He stutters out, stumbling over his English again.

Lilia watches with puzzled, worn aquamarines as he skips over to the side of the road, releasing his grip on her arm.

 _“I’m – an idol.”_ Abrupt, thoughtful pauses. Riku beams. _“I’ll make you happy!”_

 _“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”_ Lilia tells him chidingly. _“I’m not sad. Let’s get back already, shall we-?”_

 _“Even though you say that, you are!”_ Riku exclaims, interrupting her. Lilia looks around. He’s making a scene. Riku clenches his fists, muttering lowly under his breath. _“I’m an idol, so I only dance…and sing… but…”_ More indistinguishable mumbling in Japanese. Lilia sighs. This is an unproductive waste of their time. She walks up to him and kneels down to his height. They’re both tired from a day of practice. They should return—

 _“Let’s dance.”_ Riku repeats, doe-like eyes boring into her soul. _“We’re entertamers, so entertaming’s the only thing we can do. Let’s forget everything and just dance – until we become happy like we make people around us.”_

It takes a few moments to connect the pieces of the broken English he uses together.

_“Riku—”_

He tears away from her grip. And without a due, he begins dancing across the street, demonstrating the modern dance moves she’d so painstakingly punched into his frail body till he could do it in his sleep. Lilia sees passerbys turn to look at the strange Asian boy who’s doing this out of nowhere. Lilia sighs into a facepalm. He doesn’t even have music—

Riku opens his mouth, and he begins singing.

She’s so done with him. Whatever happened to being Takamasa’s ‘top secret’?

 _“What’s up with that kid?”_ A black teen points out metres behind her.

_“A street performance?”_

Riku makes up moves as he goes. It’s so bad, Lilia already sees Takamasa’s schedules for him. She foresees some future collaboration with Ra In-Ho soon to accustom the boy to singing whilst dancing. However, before she can even finish the plans grafting in her head, some kid brushes past her to call out to Riku, throwing himself to the ground.

 _“Hey! You mind if we join you?!”_ Another teen skips forward. He beatboxes in time with the cartwheels and spins the kid does on the ground.

Riku blinks, astounded, but a sunny, boyish smile sparks across his face like a million sunbeams, leaving her transfixed.

 _“S-Sure!”_ He stutters out, breaths shaky with a light pant.

Worry crosses Lilia’s mind, but before she could even spare more time to be concerned, an impudent teen had reached out and snatched her hand, pulling her into an impromptu waltz around the ridiculous trio.

 _“What the—”_ Lilia glares at the impudent grin before her. This one’s older than the rest.

 _“Oh hey! Aren’t you Lilia?!”_ Surprise flickers across the boy’s face. He whoops, and he does that whilst dipping Lilia so suddenly, she follows without thinking. _“Gosh! I just dipped Lilia G. Smith! This is like, the best thing that’s ever going to make it into my Instagram! You mind taking a photo with me after this?”_

 _“I do.”_ Lilia grits out. The teen’s instantly puddy in Lilia’s hands. Lilia takes the lead in the dance without thinking.

Out of the corner of her eyes, she sees Riku glance at her and throw his head back with an airy laugh. He’s in the midst of some chicken dance. It’s utterly ridiculous. And yet, as more people gather and teens leap into the impromptu dance battle they’d inexorably started, _over_ _her,_ Lilia reluctantly allows a smile to cross her face, exasperated with this whole farce.

Riku’s panting by the time they pull themselves out of the crowd. Lilia keeps an eye on his condition even as he grins up at her, holding onto her sleeve to keep from getting lost in the gathered crowd. And through laboured breaths, he breathes—

_“Hora ne? I made you smile!”_

He looks so foolishly proud of himself (Benjamin flickers in the back of her eyes), she reaches over and flip his bangs with a grumble.

 _“Don’t get too proud of yourself, brat. What are you doing focusing on me when you should be looking at the average man on the street?”_ Lilia grouches.

But Riku only musters another more muted smile, no less happy, and steps forward, guiding her down the familiar path home with his hand.

For a second, she wonders if Riku even understands what she just said. But as that familiar red-bricked apartment she’d been running away from for months comes into view, all of that is replaced by wandering thoughts of ‘warmth’, and ‘how long has it been since she and Benjamin danced till their legs strained like this and they laughed as they tripped over themselves walking back home?’, and a single-minded focus on Riku’s breathing kept carefully shallow. (No more faltering steps. No more of Layla’s distant cries. No more heart-clenching urge to spin on her heels and get the fastest out of there, even if her chest still tightens and it becomes hard to breathe.)

For some reason, with the tiny fingers clingy on her hands, Lilia gets the sappiest impression that she’s been led out of a nightmare by this little redheaded Asian kid.

 _‘I’m an idol’_ , he said. _‘I’ll make you happy!’_ , he said.

It’s all so ridiculous. Takamasa was prattling on and on about teaching this kid to be the perfect idol who wouldn’t betray his fans like Zero, who’d smile through his pain but—doesn’t he see? This kid’s already the definition of the perfect idol.

What’s so bad about smiling when one’s happy and crying when one’s sad? So long as there are two and not one, they can make each other smile through times of difficulty.

Just like the way Riku did for her. (Just like she did, with Benjamin, once a long time ago.)

“ _Lilia-_ san?” Riku calls out her name, blinking with curious carnelians as he waits for her on the tiny stairway to pull out her key as per always.

Lilia dips her hand into her pocket. She pulls it out, but this time, even though she still sees hazy memories of Benjamin coming over to embrace her to welcome her home, still hears his warm distant laughter rumbling through her eardrums, like the expired memories of autumn – Riku’s off in her peripheral vision when she looks. He’s her fixture in the present reality.

Lilia pushes the key in and she turns the doorknob.

“We’re home!” Riku calls out, in the single Japanese word she’s learnt the meaning of.

Lilia gazes at his small but reliable back and in that moment, sees what he’s capable of becoming.)

-

_“And one and two and three and four and five and six and seven and eight—”_

Lilia claps in time to the beat, repeating the same line over and over again.

Riku likes to think he’s definitely better than before, quick limbs jutting out even if the timing is far slower than he remembers the reflection of his much older self being. Lilia has even taught him moves he didn’t learn before, even though they’re supposedly the ‘basics’.

A hip roll here. A jab step left then right, with a swaying of just the upper torso. Hands reaching out across his front and clenching, only to dissolve into fluid motion and a rapid spin. The upcoming end of the choreography barely even registers. It takes all he has to keep up with the timing.

The ending position is two hands clasped together, over an invisible butterfly, one leg tipping back out.

Riku pants as he looks at himself in the mirror, red bangs clinging onto his face, carnelian eyes wide with the adrenaline pumping through his veins.

How many times had he done this choreography today? He’d screwed up so many times but Lilia had him continue in spite of his mistakes to the end. Now… finally… he has one down without a mistake?

Ahahaha! As if. Riku just knows he must have made a mistake somewhere again which he didn’t notice.

“ _Lilia_ -san,” Riku relaxes, smiling sheepishly as he turns to the woman. “ _One more time_ …?” He voice catches in his throat.

Lilia peers at him with even eyes, but there’s the smallest twitch of her lips upwards, the first genuine smile he’s seen coming from her. She reaches up to his head, easily ruffling his red locks even under Riku’s wide-eyed stare.

With a cough that clears her throat, Lilia sends an approving nod and raises her pointer finger in that same manner used to indicate – _“One more time.”_ She demands, eyes fiery with pride.

Riku beams and flies into position.

-

( _“Don’t be like me.”_ Lilia tells the child who’d fallen asleep on her couch, having stolen away from his and Takamasa’s shared guestroom in the middle of the night. _“Don’t ever pretend to be who you’re not just because you have to. Don’t ever run away from your problems. Just…don’t.”_ Her voice cracks with pain.

Lilia imagines what would have happened if she never lost herself to the high praises others lavished on her, if she wasn’t so obsessed with her continued success that she lost track of Benjamin and her own health. Perhaps, she wouldn’t have had the miscarriage. Perhaps, that car crash wouldn’t have happened to begin with, and she wouldn’t have had to be pushed out of that ticking timebomb of a vehicle by Benjamin.

She still remembers his smile, bloody and sad, but relieved that he got her out. Then these few months, spent trudging through life with legs heavier than lead. It’d hurt so much to pretend to be alright through Benjamin’s and Layla’s deaths, but she did it. It’d hurt to constantly be on the run away from this house. And yet, she did. Was it worth it? Does it matter in the end, even when she finally has the letter to an award ceremony she wanted so much back then?

Lilia drops her head into the sheet resting over her knees. She kills the sob that’s bubbling up at the back of her throat as tears make their way down.

She doesn’t know.

But for now… it feels like some mourning’s long overdue for the widowed wife and mother.)

(In an alternate timeline where Kujou Tenn exists and Kujou Riku does not, Lilia G. Smith’s professionalism would not have been broken by an attack. She would have proceeded the way she always did – with a plaintive smile for the camera, and rotting insides shielded away from all. Lilia G. Smith would have received flowers at the award ceremony with a beaming smile that deceives even herself. She would have passed on within two years, done in by the maggots left to fester in those wounds. And Kujou Tenn would have spoken of her in reverence to Nanase Riku, but left aside news of her death.

 _(‘A young woman, humbly accepting bouquets of flowers, smiling from ear-to-ear at the finale– she was a wife whose husband had died suddenly. Even when the sky is falling down and the whole world is in despair, it is our job to smile, to sing. That is what Kujou-san has taught me._ ’)

But in this world, Kujou Riku exists.)

-

“—Lilia-san… is strong.” Riku murmurs, in a mix of awe and sadness after what Takamasa’s revealed to him.

The blond woman, standing in a long white gown that highlights the blues of her eyes and halo of golden locks, rises to her feet in the television screen. Loud music played in the background, accompanied by the loud declarations of the emcees reciting a long list of her works this year.

Riku… totally hadn’t known a thing about Lilia’s background circumstances. Now that he thinks about it, it makes total sense why there aren’t any family photos around in Lilia’s house. He feels even more horrible for imposing on Lilia, who just lost her family.

…Nono! He shouldn’t think of it like that! That’s all because of Takamasa to begin with!

Riku swivels around. He inches away from Takamasa, who’s seated by his side. The man notices his action and turns to offer a plaintive smile.

“Now, now, there’s no need for such agitation. Let’s celebrate the moment Lilia given the award, shall we?” He chuckles. It still feels like poison after months in his company.

“As if I’d listen to you!...is what I like to say, but,” Riku turns back to the screen. “Who cares about you?” He huffs, ignoring the amused chuckle by his side.

Lilia is taking huge steps up the stairs with her gown flowing behind her. Accepting the trophy in deceivingly strong fingers and balancing it and the bouquet of flowers, Riku watches her take the mic in hand with a soft inhale.

She doesn’t smile. It reminds Riku so much of her, even though Lilia’s always smiling prettily in the advertisements and movies he’s seen her in. As a matter of fact, it’s that version of Lilia which feels artificial to Riku.

 _“This year was a tough year for me, as you know.”_ She breathes. _“I suffered a miscarriage. And not long after, I became widowed in a car crash. Honestly speaking? I wanted to die.”_ And Lilia cracks a dry smile at the shocked murmurs that filter through the hall.

Riku leans in.

 _“Benjamin – Benjamin and Layla – my unborn child.”_ She settles a hand over her abdomen. _“They meant the world to me, even if I hadn’t known it till I lost them. I was foolish back then. Insufferable. A total workaholic. I didn’t realize how I was killing my own family till it was too late – and even thereafter, when they’ve been screwed over by my mistakes, I still hadn’t realized. I was still on my way to killing someone, except this time, it was me.”_

 _“What is she saying?”_ Furrows the brows of a perturbed looking man onscreen. A famous entertainer, Riku’s sure.

The camera pans to other disturbed looking entertainers looking at each other, disconcerted.

Except, to Riku, this feels like the real Lilia. Even that dry smile and that self-loathing glint in her eyes. Every bit of that feels real to him, raw, like the woman who’d looked at him with disregard when he stood in her kitchen. (She puts up a front before cameras.)

 _“Pushing myself to work every day when I could be staying home with the compassionate leave… Honestly, it wasn’t difficult at all.”_ Lilia gives another bemused smile. _“I was virtually using work to escape from my troubles at home. It’s far easier to smile on set, than to face the emptiness in my family—”_

The screen goes blank. Takamasa has his hand extended with the controller when Riku turns to him.

“Get back to your room, Riku-kun.” Takamasa tells him calmly.

“You didn’t have to do that—” Riku scowls.

“There is no need to listen to what this woman has to say.” Takamasa cocks his head offhandedly, and Riku’s blood runs cold at the way he’s referring to Lilia. The instinctive protest swelling up at the back of his throat is cut off by Takamasa’s strict orders. “Gather your belongings. We’ll be getting out of here by the end of today. Your lessons with this woman are over.”

He doesn’t like the things Lilia is saying, Riku realizes belatedly. That’s why, he’s cutting ties with her.

Riku’s going to have to be very careful about navigating around this topic now. Knowing Takamasa, he could always pull some strings to get Lilia in trouble. (Just like Re:Vale.)

“…In that case, where are we going now?” Riku eyes him warily.

“Iceland.” Takamasa’s eyes flashes. “I have an acquaintance there who will do well to your studies.” Another person who owes a debt to him, Riku concludes, if not someone who’s easily threatened by him. “Now, let’s get moving, Riku-kun.” Takamasa’s cordial again, a pretentious smile camouflaging itself to be polite plastered over his face. “Time is of essence. We don’t want to splurge it needlessly.”

Riku tries but fails to keep a deep-seated frown from reaching his lips. He hurries to their room, wondering what Lilia is saying right now.

-

( _“-Look. I may be an entertainer, but I am also human.”_ Lilia continues her speech. _“Perhaps I might have seemed happy to you. But really, I wasn’t fine at all. Every day, I was waddling through a sea of emotions.”_ Aquamarine eyes lower briefly, darkening into sapphires that shimmer at the memories. _“I was foolish, to not have taken time off to allow myself to feel.”_

She raises her eyes again, this time meeting the crowd’s with a gaze that’s full of dignity.

 _“Right now though, after taking the time to properly mourn and finally be honest about who I am, I’m glad to have taken the courage to come out about how much pain I was in this whole time.”_ She pauses, looking down at her trophy. “ _There may be some of you who regret voting me for this award after hearing my part, but… I don’t regret it. Not in the slightest.”_ )

-

Riku looks up at the red bricked apartment, carnelians growing sad at the thought of leaving without a goodbye.

-

( _“Not when I’ve been reminded of what it means to be human, by a certain someone.”_ Lilia pursues her lips, slowly pulling them up into a wry, fond smile.)

-

( _“Perhaps to you, I may be undeserving of this award. And I agree.”_ The female actress inclines her head on the screen. _“But what’s done is done, and apparently, I am receiving this award regardless of my cowardice since the start of this year. So, all I can do is to be grateful for it. However, next year—”_ She lifts the trophy. And she plants a kiss on it. Impassioned aquamarines peer out at the camera, breath-taking in their sheer tenacity. _“Next year, I swear, by the name of Lilia G. Smith, that I’ll do my best to live up to this award and come back as a better person to bag this award.”_ A radiant smile lights up her face. _“Just look forward to it—”_

“Tenn-kun, it’s time for practice! Do I need to bait you with a donut for you again to lure you out?” Ogami Banri’s voice is filled with mild exasperation.

Tenn lowers his phone. He rises to his feet.

“No. I’m fine.” Pink ombres flash to his reflection in the mirror. Tenn pursues his lips. “Please excuse me for making you wait. Even though you’re teaching me at my request, too.” He adds silently. The subtle show of gratitude would be seen as what it is, he hopes.

“Ahh, that’s fine. It’s no biggie.” Banri chuckles, waving the matter away easily. “More importantly, are you searching for Riku-kun online again? Did you gain any leads?” He looks just as interested as he was concerned the first time Tenn met him.

The middle school boy sighs. He puts away his phone, pulling out his other earplug.

“At the moment, there are no leads.” Tenn keeps his disappointment from seeping into his tone.

“Right,” Banri takes it in stride, furrowing his brows in sympathy. “Kujou Takamasa is a man pretty high up the ladder in the entertainment industry, but he also specializes in working behind the scenes after all. I was pretty surprised when I got an email from you about him, you know? Not only did you figure out that he was _haw8_ , you also managed to track down where he was!”

Tenn averts his gaze.

“That’s because Re:Vale’s accident had lots of parallels with my case. Not to mention, Riku left a big clue behind.”

It hadn’t taken much to contact the Re:Vale site’s administrator. In fact, the amount of progress he’d made so far is absolutely intolerable given the amount of time he’s taken. Tenn tightens his hold on his phone subconsciously.

“Riku-kun…” Banri’s eyes are a million miles away. “It’ll be nice if we find him even a second earlier. Kujou … That man is toxic to everybody around him afterall.” Even the good-natured man scowls at the mention of him. The look doesn’t suit him.

“It’s for that sake that we’re practicing, right?” Tenn sighs and smirks at the man, revelling in the way he easily dissipates the depressing mood. “Even though Takanashi Production lacks the budget for even a box of donuts.”

“…tsk… this kid… we’re not short-changed to that extent, just so you know!” The President snaps, showing up at a fortunate time. Banri gasps ‘President…!’ in an utterly dismayed tone at the back. He knows as well as Tenn how easy Takanashi Otoharu is to bait.

“Then, in that case, why don’t you prove it?” Tenn cocks his head.

“Alright! I’ll show you just how rich we can be…!” Otaharu pulls out his wallet. “Banri-kun! Do you know of any good donut shops? Let’s get delivery from there right away-!”

It looks like Tenn’s going to have donuts for dinner tonight.

“President! Please control your temper! Your daughter’s birthday is coming up next week, isn’t it?! You’ve got to get a gift for her!” Banri desperately seeks to calm his boss.

Looking at his own reflection as the pair banter behind him, Tenn wonders where and how his other half is doing now. But, well… Tenn sighs as he rises to his feet, beating away the dust bunnies from his sweatpants. If things can get done just by wondering, everyone in this world would have their wishes fulfilled.

Tenn peers at his still bantering interim dance coach and President.

“Let’s start practicing.” He folds his arms.

Tenn’s definitely going to find Riku, if it’s the last thing he does.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is mostly written, but it may also be overwritten because I can think up better ways to write it. It's 'Trigger - Before the Radiant Glory'. Yes, finally we have Trigger Riku. 
> 
> ...But do I honestly have to take 'Before the radiant glory' as canon? I mean, the dancing part made me LMAO the first 3 times I watched it. SO MUCH dialogue cut short because of the run time. I can think up better ways to do it. Also, I'm not including the upcoming part II in this story. School starts literally days before its release date. And I'm also kind of losing steam in writing this fic. (This is all making out to be another Hananase sigh.)
> 
> (Last thing before I end: THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR COMMENTS! I'll respond to them tmr. It's literally 3AM where I am. But it'd be a huge motivator if you'd still comment on how you found this chapter!!! I'll answer new comments tmr too, so please,  
>   
> Just leave me something to let me know someone finished reading this to the end... TT^TT)


	6. Before the Radiant Glory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Before The Radiant Glory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not replying to those comments... I was busy editing this next chapter!  
> Also, just a reply to the comments from C4: 
> 
> You guys sure are great at cracking me up haha XD 
> 
> First, there's GakuRiku, then there's IoRiku, then everyone x Riku appeared and then no pairings became another thing. I spat out my water at that one suggestion of 'Heck. Why don't we do polygamy with GakuRikuIori?!' It was so brusquely casual, I tore my side out of sheer laughter. I still haven't really decided, but you guys can continue to decide after reading this chapter
> 
> With that, I present to you: Before the Radiant Glory [Riku Ver.]

(December. Winter. Tokyo.

Heart filled with tumultuous uncertainties, here he is in spite of everything. Tsunashi Ryuunosuke is not afraid – not of his future, no; isn’t it only natural for the eldest son to sacrifice some things so his family of five could eat? – but… Well, how to put it? There’s no denying the sickening worry churning in the pits of his stomach as he waits for the agent.

“—ah, there’s no need to worry about the debt. I’m working on it.”

His dad’s reply is smudged with just a hint of gratitude. It goes unsaid.

Ryuu smiles, tired but fond.

“Just take it easy, Dad.”

He hangs up.

Without the lull of his Dad’s voice, Ryuu feels the barrage of foreignness assaulting him from every bit of the city he sees.

The Christmas cheer of the overwhelming city lights; the grey of landscapers where only a couple storey-high buildings litter the town he came from; even the winter here is different. Ryuu resists the urge to huddle in on himself as the passing breeze stings his eyes. Man, it’s cold. It’s way too different from Okinawa through and through.

Miserable and feeling not at all unlike a lost child, Ryuu shifts, fishing out the agency-issued phone to once more glimpse through the email sent to him.

The agent sure is late… Did he get the location wrong?

His insecurities once more ambush him as citrine eyes linger on the single word.

Is he even cut out to be a pop idol? Even if this is all for his Dad’s sake…

Firm clicks of heeled shoes come to a close near him.

It takes a belated moment for Ryuu to register that sharp difference from the countless strangers passing by him up till then. (Tokyo’s people are as different from Okinawans as their town is…)

When he looks up, his breath is instantly lost, eyes growing wide.

In the illumination of the romantic hues of the tree decorations, the man looks as if he’s just stepped right out of a movie. Clad in dark drabs that offer a complimenting contrast to the wildness of his charming yet untamed mane of grey curls, blue alice eyes penetrate Ryuu’s own citrines, relentless in their smothering intensity. The beguiling man cocks his head, studying Ryuu’s features.

“…You are Tsunashi Ryuunosuke, yeah?”

“Eh?” He’s speaking to him?

“Yaotome Production’s Tsunashi Ryuunosuke. You’re him, aren’t you?” With piercing eyes, he begins making his way closer. It occurs to Ryuu then, that this must be one of his groupmates.

“A-Ah, yeah. That’s me.” Ryuu hastily gets to his feet. “I’m Tsunashi Ryuunosuke.” He stutters out, accent thick in his voice.

“See? I knew it.” The intimidating man smiles, and it’s charismatic. Self-assured. Even though they must be around the same age, Ryuu’s mesmerized by how different they are. “I’m Yaotome Gaku.” The man extends a hand. “Nice to meet you.”

“Y…Yeah.” Ryuu takes it, closing fishing-roughened digits over the back of pale skin. He’s reminded, several beats later, of a different Yaotome who had sat before him at the top of a skyscraper, clinically flipping through his folder and congratulating him on his induction.

_“With this, you’re now one of Yaotome Production’s talents too.”_

_“ Ah, yes, the honour’s all mine.” Ryuu had bowed._

_“Your accent’s too thick. Speak standardized Japanese here.” Eyes that were equally as sharp as Gaku’s had studied a document with the same sharpness Gaku did him. “Everyone will think you’re a comedian otherwise. You don’t want that, do you?”_

“Yaotome…” Ryuu breathes. Are they related?

“This way.” Gaku calls out to him. Ryuu realizes he’d fallen back by a few steps without knowing.  He hurriedly rushes to keep up, staying a few steps behind to let the other take the lead. Gaku doesn’t point that out, either not having noticed or not caring. “You heard that the manager was coming, right?”

“Y-Yeah. He said he’ll introduce the group’s members…”

“He isn’t coming.” Gaku smirks impishly over his shoulder. “Cause I shook him off.”

“E-Eh?” Ryuu must have misheard. “What do you mean?” He questions, bewildered.

“The other member seems to be _quite_ an important person.” Gaku explains brusquely as they step onto an escalator. “He really wanted to keep things from leaking, so we’re meeting up there. Heck, he even rented out a club so nobody could see him in.”

Ryuu sweat drops. That does sound like a bit of overkill…

“Kujou Riku.” Gaku mutters, voice dropping a tad with what sounds like venom.

“Eh?” Ryuu’s eyes widen, surprised by this sudden change out of nowhere.

“He’s the centre of our group, Trigger.” Gaku continues, a note of frustration in his voice. “It’s our group and yet he decides to do this without asking. It drives me nuts to even think about it.”

That’s understandable. Ryuu pursues his lips. Gaku seems to be the serious type who doesn’t get involved in things without a purpose after all.

“Hey,” Gaku looks back at him, disgruntled. “Are you even listening?”

“Ah, sorry, I just…” …was thinking about some things. But he doesn’t know how to use standardized Japanese to elaborate on said matters and he doesn’t know if it’s appropriate to talk to Gaku on those same matters. It’s easier to trail off and let Gaku fill the silence in with whatever he thinks.

“If you’ve got something to say, then say it. This isn’t just someone else’s future. Your future’s at stake too, you know.” Gaku turns his gaze upfront.

“…sorry.” Ryuu murmurs softly.

“In any case, come with me. We’ll meet said Mr. Secret in question at the destination. And if he turns out to be some spoiled brat who bought his way in, then I’m out.”

“Out?” Ryuu echoes, bewildered. Gaku said that so easily, Ryuu can’t believe it. “You mean you’ll quit?” 

“That’s right.” Gaku answers resolutely.

Their steps continue without a hitch.

Ryuu gazes at Gaku’s back, broad shoulders squared in nothing but firm determination. He muffles the words he wants to say with the top of his muffler. (He’s not sure they’d be in standardized Japanese anyways.)

Not even ten minutes into their meeting, and things already look bleak. With group members like them, can they even make it beyond debut…? His future is full of uncertainties. (He withholds a sigh.)

They arrive at the entrance to a club with a long stairway leading down to the basement. ‘deep RIVER’, the signboard put out at the front reads. So different yet similar to the single English word – ‘TRIGGER’ – that had been spelt on the top of the contract Yaotome President had passed him.

Ryuu can’t keep his mouth from parting in wonder as he peers up at the tall brick walls of the stairway guiding them down. Unlike him, Gaku seems used to this.

Their steps resonate without a strum of hesitation as Gaku steadily takes the lead down to the base of the stairs, dimly illuminated by warm yellow lights around a curve. The bell chimes in welcome. And there… seated on a single stool, is a boy with crimson hair shining like garnets.

The boy rises, startled by the sound of their entrance. He spins around, and in a heartbeat, all Ryuu can focus on is the slenderness of his hands and the endearing way his feathery garnet locks tumble around his tiny heart-shaped face, framing it lovingly. Rich rubies bore out at them, lips delicately parted in mild surprise. Just like a delicate flower wavering in the broad expense of a dessert, just like—

“A doll…” The word slips out subconsciously.

The man at his front gives a tut. Ryuu watches, conflicted, as Gaku steps forward.

“So you’re Kujou Riku?” He questions, all spitfire ready to burst out in his tone.

The doll-like boy blinks. He breaks into an energetic smile full of sunbeams.

“That’s right! Even though I prefer to go by Nanase Riku…” Riku seems to be on the verge of sulking before he remembers where he is. “Ah, you guys must be Yaotome-san and Tsunashi-san, right? Nice to meet you!” He beams, glowing as if he’s swallowed a mouthful of fireflies.

Gaku is understandably stumped.

“You’re somewhat different from what I expected. I totally figured you’d be more a spoiled brat when I meet you.”

Ryuu blinks wide eyes at how… _blunt_ the other is. A bead of sweat tumbles down the side of his face, hesitation creeping onto his face. Should he interfere? No, but Riku doesn’t seem the type to pick fights because of a couple of words.

Gaku remains oblivious as he scrutinizes Riku’s doe-eyed blink before nodding to himself.

“Just ‘Gaku’ will do for me. ‘Yaotome’ is what people call that Old Man of mine.” Turning his head to the side, Gaku scans the club for another presence. “In any case, where’s that supporter of yours? I’ve got something to speak to him about. It’s regarding the choice of our centre.”

Ryuu follows him warily with his eyes. Not another blunt topic to raise in the presence of the boy…

“Takamasa-san isn’t here.” Riku divulges.

“Eh?” Twin pairs of gazes turn to him, Gaku’s surprise more audible than his.

“I didn’t think you’d want that person to listen in on our meeting, so I shook him off.” Riku’s smile is entirely sheepish, not the slightest bit conniving as one would have expected. Like a coy teen who realizes he’s done something wrong, the youngest occupant of the room draws thin shoulders up to his ears apologetically. “I’m sorry. Did I, perhaps, cause some trouble with that…?”

“Trouble, you say…” Ryuu turns startled eyes on Gaku.

The words Riku is saying are almost entirely the same as Gaku’s from several minutes ago. Except, Gaku had neither the tact nor heart to feel sorry about it.

A dark gloved hand flies up to his pale lips. Ryuu and Riku watch, one again mesmerized, the other mildly startled, as the striking man who had been terse up till then burst in a fit of chuckles that is in no way at all muffled.

“Pfthaha-! You’re _really_ not what I was expecting at all, Kujou Riku!” Gaku declares, eyes crinkled in pleasure.

“Hah…” Ryuu relaxes with a sigh. He takes that as the worst being over.

“E-Eh—? But didn’t you say you had something to say about the centre—?” Riku fumbles, befuddled.

“The centre is a different matter. I couldn’t care less if you’re the centre or he’s the centre—” Gaku points his thumb between the two of them, strutting closer to the garnet-haired teen. “—It just has to be someone with skills. But from the looks of it,” Gaku snags the jumping Riku by the shoulder, dragging him precariously towards the bar. Gaku grins impishly. “I think we’ll get along fairly well no matter who’s the centre.”

Ryuu smiles at this ambient atmosphere as he makes his way to them, pulling off his scarf. Under Riku’s questioning glance desperately beseeching his help, he gently informs the other.

“Gaku ‘shook off’ our manager before he met me.” He tentatively tests out the new word he’s learnt.

“Hey, it’s not my fault that Anesagi’s such an intrusive person.” Gaku defends himself under Riku’s curious stare. “If that person’s here, we’ll be probably made to answer interview questions as a way of bonding. Can you imagine it?” Gaku… _shudders_.

Ryuu has half a mind to ask whilst he pours out a drink, fascinated by the dignified (if slightly brusque) man’s reaction. Anesagi…is their manager, right? That makes him the man (?) he had been introduced to back at Yaotome President’s office…

_Ryuu tried his best to not side-eye the other, but crudely failed._

_“A new assignment?” Anesagi Kaoru picked up the folder, flipping through it._

_Never in his life had he ever seen such a neon shade of pink on anyone, ever. Never had he seen such high heels on anyone save for the models on the television too. And never, never had he been so completely confused about the gender of a person. _

_This is… a woman, right? No, but then again, ‘Kaoru’ is a gender-neutral name. Then, a man?_

_Yaotome President coughed into a palm just as Ryuu spot Anesagi lifting her – his – its (? He winces internally. That sounds too demeaning) – their head out of the corner of his eyes. It’s only years of self-preservation instincts trained by rugged fisherman tossing tools at people out of nowhere that had Ryuu redirecting his eyes forward, shoulders totally going stiff in a tell-tale sign of his anxiety._

_Auburn eyes appraised him. A smile slid across their lips._

_“So, you’re one of the boys I’ll be in-charge of henceforth, ne?” A hand was offered to him. Ryuu’s eyes darted wildly about in their sockets. He didn’t know where to look. “I’m looking forward to working with you from now on. If you have any questions, don’t you hesitate to clarify, okay~?”_

_Their. Voice._

_Ryuu’s all the more confused._

_Is this person a man? Or is this person a woman?_

_“ I-I’m Tsunashi Ryuunosuke_. _” Ryuu had dipped his head. “ Nice to work with you here on out.” _

_He’d then been guided out of the office by Kaoru, never getting an opportunity to ask the President. The last he saw Yaotome President, the man was hunched over his office desk, shoulders shaking with too loud coughs in evidently what’s a conscious effort to not burst out laughing at Ryuu’s misery. Ryuu had wondered if all Tokyo dwellers are as cruel as him._

Ryuu shudders, not so much at the thought of answering interview questions, but rather, the idea of bearing through another meeting with Anesagi Kaoru. He best ask whilst he’s here.

“Ah, I don’t mean to be rude, but… is Anesagi-san… a man? Or is that person a woman?” Ryuu pursues his lips, eyes aflutter. He hopes he doesn’t seem as pathetically lost as he feels.

“…...” Gaku looks astounded with him, lips parting and closing, lost for words. He eyes him sympathetically. “You mean you lasted the whole time he was showing you your apartment without asking?”

“Ah… yes.” His Okinawan accent slips out subconsciously. Ryuu drops his head.

“Normally, people would ask, right?” Gaku frowns, brows lightly creasing.

“Eh? Is that so?” Ryuu questions, surprised. Tokyo dwellers sure are open about these topics. If he’d approached the group of transvestites at the okama bar back in his hometown, Ryuu’s sure he would have risked getting pummeled in the face.

“But… Anesagi-san is a man, right?” Riku frowns, mulling.

“He said he prefers female pronouns from time to time.” Gaku informs them.

“Eh? No way!” Riku gapes, flabbergasted. “Then… Have I been referring to him wrongly this whole time?” He looks so utterly horrified, it’s strangely reassuring for Ryuu.

“No. I’m fairly sure that guy just has fun making us fumble over minor things like that.” Gaku scowls.

Ryuu watches them converse, just contented with the way the group is coming along. Just like this, with the three members of Trigger seated side by side, it’s exactly what his Dad said. ‘Even the worst of enemies will become friends after a drink and a dance’, huh…

When Ryuu drifts out of his thoughts, he finds Gaku scowling up at him, contrasted greatly by Riku’s sweet smile.

“What are you grinning from ear to ear like that for?” Gaku questions, exasperated.

“Ah, sorry. I was just reminded of something that my Dad used to say,” Ryuu smiles at the memory of home.

“A saying?” Riku blinks doe-like rubies curiously. “What is it?”

The edges of his lips curve up.

“‘Even the worst of enemies will become friends after a drink and dance’, he said.” He pours out a glass of juice for himself.

“We’re not exactly enemies but…” Riku chuckles wryly, garnet locks flopping as he leans forward to wrap slim fingers around his glass.

“But your dad’s a cool man nonetheless.” Gaku finishes firmly for him, that same charming lopsided smirk from before complimenting sharp features. Pulling his chair forward, the other man lifts his glass to the air, catching their gazes with his own. “Shall we toast? To our group – Trigger’s success?”

Ryuu blinks, surprised. He feels his lips twitching upwards, warm and just the slightest sentimental, as he brings his own glass to Gaku’s, chiming out the same words with a softer resolution – “To Trigger’s success.”

Looking at the both of them in awe, Riku’s childlike wonder melts off into endearing delight. He brings up his glass with all the strength he has.

“To Trigger’s success! W-WOAH-!”

“Uwah-! It spilled! It totally spilled! What are you doing-?!”

“C-Calm down, Gaku! It’s just a small accident!”

It seems like they’ve still got a long way to go becoming the perfect team.)

-

(That night, with music ratcheting on in the background and illuminated by blinding spotlights, they danced.

Slow steps. Fast steps. Moonwalk. Body running fast through the various moves he knows, the rush is thrilling.

A single curl of his arm over his shoulder gliding down to his side. A snap of the fingers briskly accompanied by a swing of long legs. An electrifying tingle sent back to his receptors by the mere click of his heel against the polished wood of the bar’s stage.

Sensations that are just like his first time. Butterflies which are just like his first date.

Even though they’re dancing to a bar emptied of an audience, isn’t that strange?

Alice blue orbs slide over to the mysterious garnet-haired boy who’d sidled up to his back in the midst of his dancing. Gaku still knows nothing about him even now.

However, Gaku lets him take the stage.

Kujou Riku carries a face full of regality as he steps up, the pursue of lips where they’d been smiling till then kept carefully indifferent, glistening rubies striking in the way he cocks his chin up.

What is he intending on doing—?

Gaku blinks, surprised, when the edges of those full lips quirk up into a faint, bewitching smirk.

Riku sweeps them away with the sudden popping he pulls out of nowhere, limbs lithe even in the mechanical vibrations strumming through his joints in time with the ratcheting of the music. Being small and practically swallowed up by his large hoodie, Gaku can’t possibly fathom how much stress he’s putting on his limbs to make sure every tremor and vibration of his joints remains visible to them. Doesn’t he hurt?

He hears a soft murmur full of trepidation and Okinawan accent off to the other side of the stage.

Spotting Ryuu’s aghast look of trepidation, the smile tugging at Gaku’s lips broke into a grin.

“Way to lay on the pressure for the next one after you!” He comments, amused, when Riku spins out of the centre to his side.

“That’s because Tsunashi-san is good at dancing!” Riku throws right back, red rubies twinkling in mischief. “If I don’t do at least that much, it’d be easy for him to beat me, right?” His lips quirk up into that beguiling smile again.

Gaku snorts. What a tease.

But true enough. Ryuu comes onstage with an explosion of motions, all sculped limbs sweeping the dancefloor with his moves. Hands which mimic the strumming of an invisible guitar, taking the guide from Riku’s popping. A roll of his body right down to his hips, rich citrines so impassioned they’re practically glowing as tan skin is bathed in the spotlight. A series of pelvic thrusts with arms folded over his shoulders, slow but enthralling.

He’s like a sex machine.

“So erotic…” Gaku complains.

“Haha!” Riku leaps back on stage with an airy laugh. “We can’t lose to him either!”

Ryuu slams a thundering hand onto the ground and smiles as he propels himself off into a cartwheel under the glistening spotlights. With careful feet distributing the pressure, the hulk of a man lands as graceful as a cat in his new position by Riku’s other side.

Tan arm reaching out towards the centre, Ryuu snaps his fingers in time with the height of the music.

He provides the perfect intro to them as a trio, instead of an individual.

They move into action.

On a night where everyone could be keeping to their warm homes, three men move their bodies in an unsynchronized dance that meshes perfectly on a stage with no audience.

With the steady beat, their heartbeats drum up in unison.

Limbs swinging out tantalizing moves, the world turns dizzying with its splendour.

Out of the corner of his eyes, Gaku saw them, in that split moment where the music reaches its peak.

Garnet locks were bouncing ever so slightly, shining as brightly as the beads of sweat flicking off the edges of the faintest smile masquerading as a calm smirk. Feet tapping gracefully through a series of steps, Ryuu was laughing, muscles pulled taut as he stretches out toned arms before him; he was the most liberated Gaku’s seen him since this night started. For the first time, they look like boys, tapping out to an unheard beat but chortling in the giving rain. For the first time, they are just _them_ , three men dancing freely out on a stage to the same tune.

Ryuu lifts his head in that instance. Upon seeing him, rich citrines widen and pearly whites peek out with the grin that clambers readily onto Ryuu’s tan face.

Gaku wonders what expression he must be wearing for Ryuu to have that kind of reaction.

Riku bursts out with a soft laugh that climbs its way into the air, unbounded, freed from whatever restrains his supporter must have been drilling into him till then.

Blue Alice flicker to rich citrines in a shared moment of surprise.

They smile, unbridled thoughts exchanged in that split moment.

This peerless unity of theirs… this easy harmony… Without a doubt, if even one of them is gone from this stage, they would never achieve this degree of brilliance.

That night, three men fell in love with Trigger.)

(“Hah…hah…” Ryuu collapses on the ground, worn after a night full of dancing.

Gaku still can go on for a lifetime, so long as these two remain by his side.

“I’ve thought of Tokyo’s winters as cold ever since I’ve arrived here…” Ryuu wipes his sweat with the back of his wrist. His grin is both sexy, and boyish with its childlike quality. “But tonight is the first time I’ve thought of it as warm!”

“Haha!” Kujou Riku, Gaku notices again, doesn’t look the least worn despite his panting companions. The fearsome youth extends a hand to Ryuu, feathery tuffs of garnet falling to lovingly cradle the tiniest remains of baby fat still on his cheeks. Riku smiles, angelic and kind. “From now on, let’s have plenty of warm winter days like these! Tokyo is cold, but…”

Ryuu takes his hand and rises to his feet, blinking down inquisitively at glowing rubies.

“When you know where to look, there are actually plenty of warm places hidden around the city!” Riku lifts a finger. “The barbeque shop, for instance!”

The edges of Gaku’s lips quirk up, even if his brows furrow in badly hidden exasperation.

“Soba shop,” He pronounces slowly, joining the conversation. “If we’re going to a warm place to eat, it’s gotta be a soba shop, isn’t it?! Despite everything, we are going to become idols afterall. We need a balanced diet filled with the proper nutrition.” Although it’s all an excuse for soba, really.

“You’re right!” Riku concedes with a sunny beam. He latches onto Ryuu’s arm. “Then, leaving Gaku behind, let’s go to an all-you-can-eat barbeque buffet soon with just the two of us, Tsunashi-san! Gaku said he wants to be left alone to slurp on cold soba on Christmas!”

“Why is that the conclusion?!” Gaku snaps, astounded.

“But… if Gaku’s going to be a downer at our meat party…” Riku pouts, looking troubled.

“I can so be a fun person too! And even though I may not look like it, I’m more of a big eater than you’d expect!” Gaku scowls.

“Really? Then, you’ll join our meat party?” Riku peers up at him hopefully.

“I’ll show you how meat is eaten!” Gaku proclaims. “Gh……!” …and realizes his own words moments later, when the smallest of sunbeams is already beginning to break through the teenager’s face.

“Hooray! Gaku’s going to join our meat party, he said!” Riku turns to report to Ryuu, as if he hasn’t been there watching.

“I-Is he…?” Deep citrines flicker to him, a hesitant smile curving his lips.

Gaku sinks his face into his palm.

“I’ve been had…” He mutters.

Ryuu sidles up to him with the most sympathetic smile as Riku happily scrolls through his phone, already searching up the most recommended barbeque shops around this area. He doesn’t put a hand on his shoulder, but he might as well, with that presence of his. Gaku cracks open an unwilling eye to meet surprised citrines long-sufferingly. He points to the boy standing at the centre of the stage, bouncing happily on his feet.

“Hm hm hm hm hm~♩ I wonder where is a good place to eat~?” Riku’s humming to himself as he scrolls through his phone.

“That’s gonna be our centre from now on.” Gaku deadpans.

“It seems like it… doesn’t it?” Ryuu replies. Despite the hesitant exasperation in his tone, he’s huffing as he smiles ever so faintly. Under warm sparkling spotlights, long lashes glisten as rich citrines turn to view their new centre with unbridled fondness. “But now that you’ve met Riku-kun, do you still think that you’re ‘out’, Gaku?”

“Such a question… Do you really need an answer?” Gaku complains, tucking his arms in.

Their glasses glisten outside the spotlight, quiet with an unspoken promise.

He smirks.

Rubies turn to look up at them inquisitively, a guileless smile playing on his lips.

“We, Trigger, are definitely going to take the world by a storm!”)

-

That night, in the warmth of a humble bar tucked into the distant edges of the city, Trigger was born.

Each time Riku looked up and squinted through the lights, he saw again the tender wistfulness which Tsunashi Ryuunosuke’s expression overfilled with for home. Speaking with halting words thick with accent, that was a Tsunashi Ryuunosuke Riku had never met before. And… With eyes that spoke more than he did, a lingering warmth to the curve of his lips, and a boyish laugh that lights up the city, Riku was gently reminded. That even though they’re the same Tsunashi Ryuunosuke, they’re still different. That even though they’re different, Tsunashi is still kind. He’d called Riku to call him “Ryuu” gently. Almost like a big brother. _(Tenn-Nii. Sougo-san. Mitsuki-san…)_

In Gaku’s case… Gaku was just a bit different. (Riku finds himself unable to resist a glowing smile around his metaphorical mouthful of fireflies.) Still blunt. Still unchanging. Still confrontational. Except this time, Riku’s on the end of that sharp tongue. It’s like dealing with Iori but not. Just a little, it was like bantering with a younger Tenn-Nii again. Except, Gaku is far more playful than that. And far less reproaching. Not to mention, he’s so straightforward he steps right into the tricks Riku laid out. Riku’s never had someone who was so easy to tease before. (Riku stifles a laugh with the flat of his palm.)

Riku watches the passing houses from the rear window with the faint traces of smile on his face. His fingers curl loosely around his phone, now containing two extra numbers.

“Sheesh, really! I can’t believe each and every single one of you!”

Anesagi’s reactions are amusing even as he (she? Right. Riku will refer to Anesagi as a female to his face from now on) drives Riku home. Mere minutes ago, the manager had burst in on their private gathering with slammed doors and a shrill voice shrieking out pissed words at Gaku.

“How could you all be so ill-behaved?!”

_“Unbelievable! How utterly unbelievable, you boys! And you!” A look is aimed at Gaku sharply._

_Riku moves to get in the way out of instinct, years-faded instinct from shielding six emotionally vulnerable groupmates surging back. Gaku gives him a weird look._

_“Just because you are the President’s son, don’t think you’re getting off this lightly! I won’t tolerate you shaking off your manager so easily!”_

_“See?” Gaku sighs, turning to aim Riku and Ryuu an exasperated look. “This is exactly why I didn’t want to bring him along. Before you know it, we’re gonna be answering interview questions left and right and be lectured on the quality of our answers as if training for variety.” He shakes a hand for emphasis, oblivious to the pink-haired medusa towering over his back in a seething fury._

_“G-Gaku… You might want to look behind you before you say such things…” Ryuu squeaks out, cautious about being caught between the blunt man and the wrath of their manager._

_They’re really so different, Riku muses with a gawp. This manager and his previous one._

_“What?” Gaku peers over his shoulder. “Gck-!” A folder comes smacking him lightly in the face._

_“My, how rude! These interview questions are just the mere basics you need to know about each other! What’s so wrong about them?!” Anesagi shrieks, not unlike a banshee, as he extracts two other centimetres-thick folders from his bag and riffles through them. “See! Age, names, favourite colours, favourite season, family, reasons why you became an idol! I’ll have you know these are essential building blocks for establishing rapport amongst idol groups!”_

_“That’s true.” Gaku turns to them conversationally. “So, why do you want to become an idol? For me, it’s because my old man’s the way he is.”_

_“Erm. I became an idol so that I could pay off my Dad’s debts…” Ryuu’s answer is wavering._

_“I became an idol so that I can see my fans’ smiles!” Riku chimes easily._

_“There you have it.” Gaku turns to the manager. “We’re now a notch closer.”_

_“Ah, sheesh! You boys piss me off!” Anesagi tugs furiously at his hair._

_“Careful there. You’ll ruin your bad hairdo.” Gaku warns._

Riku remembers Anesagi’s comically scathing reaction and hurriedly muffles a snicker with his hand before it could escape. Anesagi shoots him a look from the front mirror of the car.

“Don’t think you’re getting off lightly for this, Riku!” Anesagi warns sharply. “Just to be certain, I’m leaving your punishment in Kujou’s hands. But…well. I can’t imagine how worried that man must be about your safety.” Anesagi’s brows pull together, taut voice crooning in sympathy. It’s quick to snap again. “Especially with your respiratory condition and all.”

The mention of that man is sobering, if nothing else.

“Takamasa-san won’t worry about me.” Riku informs him, face smoothing out into careful blankness. He murmurs into his scarf, stifling the light cough that itches on the back of his throat. “At least, not the Nanase Riku who’s a human being instead of an idol…”

The itch grows too much to bear.

He turns his head away from the front mirror, coughing lightly into the scarf.

Anesagi aims him an inconspicuously worried look.

As the car slides up to the side of the Kujou residence, Riku shouts his thanks over his shoulder and gathers up his things to hurriedly retreat into the merciful warmth of the house.

(“Honestly. That boy…” Anesagi peers after the teenager, withholding an exasperated sigh. “I heard from Kujou that he’s usually an obedient boy. I wonder what could have possessed him to act like that?”)

The door opens with a soft click of the knob. The news is turned on, an indiscernible BGM droning on lifelessly as Riku closes the door behind him. He pulls off his winter shoes, sock-clad feet tiptoeing across marbled tiles, honestly hoping he could escape Takamasa before he returns from the kitchen. Or the lavatory. Or wherever he’s off to, leaving the television turned on like that.

“Welcome home, Riku.” Takamasa calls out. He’s stepping out of his bedroom, a familiar album in his arms again.

Riku stills. He jumps, startled. And he plasters a nervous look over his face, ducking his head frantically.

“Takamasa-san! Sorry! I’m really… sorry! For leaving the house without your permission… I just had to know what my groupmates are like no matter what!” He shifts on his feet, gloved hands fiddling in badly hidden anxiety.

Riku steadies them over his front, edgy rubies apprehensively meeting unspeaking moss greens.

“The truth is,” He shifts on his feet. “I initially planned to send you a message beforehand about leaving by myself. …You know, since you must be tired from negotiations with Yaotome Pro. But to think I even forgot about that until Anesagi-san came to pick me up…” He divulges sheepishly, peeking up at the other with a meek smile that doesn’t greet his eyes. “Did I…maybe… Did I worry you?”

“I certainly was worried. But… It’s not a rare thing for Riku to be forgetting things.” Takamasa’s white-fisted grip over Zero’s album lightens a bit. The man sinks into his posh white couch with a faint, crooked smile to offer Riku. “Come here, Riku. Tell me more about your new groupmates. How were they? Do you think they were worth changing your visuals for?”

The topic changes in a direction that turns his stomach.

“Ahaha! What are you talking about, Takamasa-san?” Riku brushes the ends of his garnet locks with a clear chuckle. “This is just a change of pace! _A change of pace!_ ” He repeats for emphasis. “I was just thinking that that shade of red is becoming too bright for my personality!”

“Is that what you think?” Tenderness peeks past the curve of Takamasa’s lips, fond but possessive. “No matter what the visuals, I think Riku is perfectly equipped to suit it. Riku is my most perfect work after all, capable of surpassing even Zero.” Takamasa’s voice warbles briefly with his emotions.

“……” Riku pursues his lips to stifle the instinctive protest rising at the back of his throat. He eyes the other warily.

But as quickly as the concoction of maliciousness infiltrated Takamasa’s tone, it flees in the next moment, leaving no trace behind.

“Even if you don’t feel like talking about them right now, there’s no need to beat yourself over it. I’m sure that you’ll find a way to work with your groupmates soon.” Takamasa reaches over to put three blocks of sugar in his steaming hot tea. He’s the very picture of relaxed, lips turned up in a wan but gentle smile with the news showcasing a Christmas event behind him. It’s as if what happened moments prior never occurred.

“Riku is a social butterfly after all.” He reasons warmly.

“…………mmh.” Riku hums, lips twitching up in spite of his unease. “Thanks for forgiving me, Takamasa-san! And… I’m sorry… for worrying you.” He inclines his head forward with another guilty shuffle.

“There’s no need to be concerned about that.” Takamasa waves him off, almost offhand in nature. He smiles. “Now, why don’t you go ahead and rest up? I’ll get dinner ready in a jiffy.”

“A-Ah, by dinner, do you mean… the pre-packaged sort?” Riku almost trips over himself in a panic.

“Today’s the day for microwaved food, fortunately.” Takamasa informs him, amused. “I promise I won’t burn down the kitchen this time.”

Ruby eyes follow his back into the kitchen. Riku lets out a sigh of relief.

With steps lighter than the first snow, Riku totters up to into his own room.

Earthy brown furry carpets over white marble tiles. Maroon-painted walls. Tall dark cabinets filled with the books gifted by his numerous teachers and a few colourful decorative toys from the few exceptions who knew him well. That, and a large star-decorated maroon bean bag alongside a grey-framed bed with grey duvets.

Riku closes the door quietly behind him. And unabashedly, he sinks face-first into his beanbag, burying away a sigh.

He’s worn.

Chiba Shizuo’s words come back to him at a time like this, important words he was forced to digest through the one-month Yamato’s father volunteered his tutelage.

_“Find where you and your role intersect. Bring out the emotions common to both. And in seeking for these emotions, reach out for similar relationships.”_

But such a thing… It’s tough. Riku breathes another sigh into the surface of his bean bag. Not to mention, it feels wrong to treat Takamasa like he would Tenn and his parents.

_“I haven’t the slightest idea why that man would choose you.” Chiba Shizuo’s gruff voice trails over to him amidst the excitement of wandering through a city full of night life – even if it’s to be done from within the narrow confines of a car._

_Riku blinks, tearing his eyes from a child who had fallen on the street and was picked up by a store vendor._

_“Eh?”_

_Beady forest greens scan his face, as vivid as the shade of green Riku only vaguely remembers on Yamato’s face now. Riku tries and fails to not feel offended when the dignified greying man scoffs and averts his eyes. Scarlet brows knotting, Riku makes a face at the man, a line that’s like Tamaki rising at the back of his throat before he even knew it._

_“I-If you’ve got something to say, then say it!” …Ah…! Finally, he gets why Tamaki behaved so childishly at times. It’s got to be this feeling, with this old geezer treating him like a child._

_“Hmph. You’re just like Zero, through and through.” Eh…? Is he complimenting him-?_

_“Ow!” Riku winces at the script that hits his head._

_“Don’t let it get to your head.” Shizuo sighs, exasperated. “I was just talking about the way you treat your audience, Anko.”_

_“I’m not a bean and neither am I a paste.” Riku sulks, miffed._

_Shizuo sighs again, retracting his script. He flips through it absently as he talks, head leaning to the side._

_“Just listen up.” He says._

_“At his prime, Zero sought to receive something from his fans.” The distant rumbles of the car rachets on in the background. Riku blinks, startled by this abrupt conversation. “It’s common knowledge to all that just a note dropping out of that man’s mouth was able to send the crowd into a frenzy, and just a smile from him was enough to entrance all the passerbys on the other side of the screen – but that wasn’t truly the thing Zero was seeking from his fans.”_

_This topic sure brings back memories – of Mitsuki and the nights spent in a drunken stupor whilst abating the elder’s mumbles of ‘Zero’ and butchering of their songs. But at the same time, carnelian eyes shift as he recalls that night spent looking at Tenn cry after that performance. He remembers thinking ‘Ah… This person must never have hated his fans even once, even though it hurts him so much to look at them.’ That Tenn-Nii truly loved his fans. And Tenn said so himself, that he never truly sought to receive anything from his fans. That he was just happy to be standing under the spotlight, meeting their gazes._

_It’s nearly a decade-old memory, but even now, the things he’d pondered that day remain imprinted on his mind like fine metal seared on naked flesh._

_“But… such a thing…” Riku blinks, conflicted. He turns carnelians on the aged man beside him. “Isn’t it normal to look at the fans’ reactions and want something given that it’s them we’re singing for?” Even now, he still thinks of Tenn as the ideal to reach for, but it may be impossible for him._

_Forest green eyes blink, startled with that same surprised, speechless syllable that used to fall out of Yamato’s mouth._

_“…gh…” Shizuo’s hesitation is just a bit shorter. And just a bit curter. The elderly man clears his throat with a hand to his face, scowling sternly. “It’s exactly that mindset of yours which makes you so similar to Zero, Anko.”_

_The script comes flying again. Riku even moves forward to receive the hit, hoping the impact might knock something into his head._

_“Mmmh… I still don’t get it.” He whines._

_“Hah…” Shizuo looks ready to burst a gut or sink his face into his wrinkly old hands. Not that Riku has ever seen him act so inelegantly. “I have no idea what you and Zero are seeking for, but one day, when you find it, who is to say that you wouldn’t take off from the stage just the way Zero did?” His murmurs are distant now, even if the insult is hardly that far off to Riku, who’s barely three feet away from him._

_“What? Are you scared, Chiba-Sensei? That I’d leave your side?” Riku teases with a delighted beam as he shuffles close to the much older man. Shizuo sends him a side-glance and a wrinkle of his nose that fails to wholly convey his disgruntlement._

_“I’m afraid for your fans who’d have to suffer your leaving if that happens.” He corrects firmly. Thin lips press together tautly. “And the children who will be forced to bear Takamasa’s teachings should you fail.”_

_Riku parts his lips. And closes them, speechless at the reminder. He gnaws on the inside of his cheek as he slinks back, lowering carnelians stewing in worry for Tamaki’s younger sister whose name now evades him._

_“I promised Lilia that I’d take you as a student because I have a son who shows as much promise as you do. …And I’d very much be disheartened if that rebellious child was snatched from my hands the way you were.”_

_The words startle Riku._

_Shizuo is looking forward unabashedly at the parted script on his lap when Riku lifts his head. The shadows cast by the overhead bridge they pass under are quick to flicker pass, leaving the seven-coloured lights blinking at them from the distant cityscape. It’s like standing on that distant stage blurred in his memories, roaring out songs to the overwhelming applause from a sea of lights._

_Shizuo’s forest greens flicker to him, sharp as daggers, harder than emeralds. They’re – Riku thinks dizzily – not that much different from Yamato’s. But at the same time, the two pairs of greens are practically separate worlds interlinked by the most frivolous of similarities._

_“Become Takamasa’s ideal idol, Nanase Riku. But never lose track of yourself, your purpose, or your emotions. Never disappear, the way Zero did.”_

“Everyone’s asking for the impossible… I’m not as amazing as Zero, you know…” He grumbles into his beanbag.

But… well. Even with his face shielded away from the world, Riku knows – in spite not being able to keep up with the numerous complicated topics all around him – that surpassing Zero is his only option. Becoming part of Idolish7 is basically a pipedream now (Riku nuzzles his way deeper into the beanbag), but if giving up that dream will help keep Tamaki’s sister and Tenn safe, then no questions asked. Riku will do it.

He’ll play the role of Kujou Takamasa’s obedient son and he’ll surpass Zero.

_Bzzt._

His phone buzzes clamorously on the desk. Riku sleepily drags himself out of his beanbag to sneak a peak at his phone. Dim rubies light up at the new rabbitchat formed by Ryuu.

[T. Ryuu: Thank you for today! It was really the most fun I’ve had since I got to Tokyo!]

[Y. Gaku: Enough with that already!]

Riku chuckles softly to himself.

That’s right. Glistening rubies soften a tad. He also has these two by his side.

Even if they’re not Idolish7…

Hauling himself away from the familiar direction his thoughts are taking, Riku quickly sends a reply.

[K. Riku: [Happy Rabbitchat sticker]]

[K. Riku: I heard about it from Anesagi-Nee! We’re apparently starting practice in three days? Let’s all go out for dinner after that!]

The response doesn’t take time to come back at all.

[Y. Gaku: …Anesagi-Nee?]

[T. Ryuu: Sounds good! Make sure to wash up before you fall asleep, Riku!]

[Y. Gaku: Anesagi- _Nee_?]

Riku smiles and types.

[K. Riku: lol I’m not a kid, Ryuu!]

[Y. Gaku: Don’t ignore me! What do you mean by Anesagi-Nee?]

Riku chokes on his guffaws as he rises from his beanbag, preparing for another conversation with the funny Yaotome Gaku.

Even if he still misses Idolish7, even if the future up ahead is filled with nothing but uncertainties, just a little, with these two reliable men by his side, Riku feels reassured at heart. It’s these two men who climbed their way to the top with the Tenn of his timeline. Surely, with them together, Trigger will come to surpass even Zero! …Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There’s so few comments, i cant tell if u guys thought if it’s passable or you absolutely hated it 😖  
> Please, leave a comment to let me know your thoughts on it. Even a smiley face will do


	7. The First Step

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All the writing up till now has been world building. It's fair time I start ripping the fruits of my labor, isn't it? 
> 
> I've changed my writing style from a narrative style to the ones like that of the game. Because of that, it takes much more time to write, but... The game's scene change is somehow easier to write, you see?
> 
> Also, thank you for all your sweet comments! I'll be off to my part-time job in a moment, so I can't answer them yet. But just know that each and every single one of your comments helped me push through and write at least another 500 words in this! 
> 
> With that, I hope you enjoy reading this story!

-

7.1: Surfacing Differences

-

Riku was probably wrong. Things might not go swimmingly after all.

Rounded rubies observe the ongoing events around him, a bead of sweat trickling down the side of his face.

“Eh? You want me to do _what_?” Rich citrines blink, so incredulous their owner is practically leaning back. Anesagi is not helping with the way he steps forward jauntily, jabbing a finger in the direction of the innocent man’s face.

“Look more like a predator, Ryuu! More like you’re going to devour all the women of this world whole, rather than just stand there like a meek little rabbit! You’re not a statue, so make full use of your body!” Riku arrives just in time to catch the tail end of that conversation, and Anesagi’s not wrong, but… the metaphor seems to be completely lost on the Okinawan. Anesagi gives a heavy sigh. “In other words, move around more!”

“Oh! I got it!” Rich citrines light up.

“You do?!” Anesagi claps both hands together in relief. “Good! Then, let’s continue the shoot—”

Ryuu dances around on his feet like they did that day, a nervous smile plastered over his face throughout.

Anesagi’s palm meets his face with a resounding smack. The professional cameramen they’ve hired looks up at the manager hesitantly.

“Erm. Should I go ahead with this…?” He asks.

“Hah. We’ve got no choice.” Anesagi sighs. “Let’s just go with this for now. Make sure to take _careful_ advantage of the angle to make his expression come out well!” It’s as much of a threat as it is a request.

“Hah…” The cameraman sighs, looking at the piece of work he has ahead of him. “I got it. I’ll do that.”

And off to the other side… Riku blinks warily at the sight of Gaku squinting down at a computer screen.

“This angle… this expression… it’s still not enough, huh.” The grey-haired man is muttering contemplatively to himself, stroking his chin all the while.

“Uh… Is there a problem with the photos?” Asks the cameraman’s assistant.

“…No. The problem doesn’t lie with you guys.” Gaku throws the man a reassuring smile. It fades into a look of self-reflection as he turns back to the screen, blue alice searching out all the flaws again. “…If it’s no trouble, could we take another shot again after this? I want us to be able to capture the viewers’ attention at a glance no matter what. I should be able to do better than this.”

“That’s perfectly fine.” The assistant nods understandingly. He turns and catches sight of Riku. “Ah! Is that, perhaps, the third member of your group? What was his name again? …eh… Kujou Kiku-san?”

“It’s Kujou Riku.” Gaku corrects the man.

Blue alice turn to him. Despite the stress that had been written out clearly on the lines of his face, Gaku manages a small curve of his lips for him.

“You’re finally here. How was it – your private lessons?”

“I saw my entire life flash before my eyes in an instant.” Riku tells him, lips pinched tight with a shudder. He exhales, long and heavy, shoulders drooping. “It was such a nightmarish time. I thought I’d escaped Japanese history when I first stepped out of Japan, but… to think I would be forced to undergo that again…” Scarlet brows knot together in pained reminder of the test. School doesn’t get any easier with age. “…But well! At least I’ve escaped my lessons till next Friday!” He beams.

“Till next Friday, huh.” Gaku echoes with a sympathetic smile. “Well, it’s all good so long as you’re happy.”

“Are you having trouble?” Riku blinks wide eyes.

He winces at another yell coming from Anesagi.

“That’s right! Just like that, Ryuu! Put more effort into rolling those hips!”

“…Uwah… This is just a debut photo, right?” Riku gapes.

“In name, I suppose you could call it that.” Gaku pursues his lips. “But a debut photo goes beyond that. Afterall, visuals are our first chance at gaining the crowd’s attention. And people’s attention spans only last for so long.”

“…You can’t just do it anyhow.” Riku interprets.

“That’s how it is.”

He’s only just realizing it again, but… Yaotome Production is… really amazing. To think this much effort is already pouring into things right from the get-go. Ah! Not to say that Takanashi Production was incompetent compared to them, but… when he compares his manager who went around taking their photos with a digital camera to this… he can’t help but think it’s two different worlds.

“Ryuu seems to be having trouble.” Riku notes. It’s somewhat uncomfortable just to see the younger (at least in mind) man be scolded by their manager for things he doesn’t have control over.

“That guy’s image is a lot different from what we’re looking for after all.” Gaku explains. “It’d be nice if we had just a bit more time for him to acclimatize to Tokyo and his image, but my old man just had to rush things.” The grey-haired man tuts irritably, averting his gaze away from the shoot. “Frankly, things are unfavourable for him. It looks like this shoot might get dragged out.”

“…………” Ruby shards linger on the light crinkle in grey brows. Ryuu doesn’t seem to be the only one stressed out by all this.

In times like these, where the group is stressed out by the circumstances, the manager usually steps in to help, but… Riku’s eyes trail over to the screaming Anesagi. He sweat drops. It doesn’t seem like this manager will be any help. …And with a group of just three, one can’t just excuse themselves by being busy when it comes to crisis.

Riku takes a breath, allowing air to puff up his chest.

“Alright!”

“Eh?” Gaku looks up.

“We should dance!” Riku snags the other’s wrist.

“Eh?” Gaku’s eyes bulge even further. Riku successfully manages to abduct one blunt greying alien by the wrist with some effort. “Eh?!”

“…ah…!” Ryuu gasps.

“Ahh…! Not like that!” Anesagi tousles his hair. “More intensely—Hey, are you listening to me?” Auburn eyes narrow in displeasure and follow his gaze. “What are you looking at—” All words die in Anesagi’s throat at the sight.

“Kh…! What is this…!” Gaku grunts out as he moves along with the momentum.

“Ah, you’re supposed to take a left step back there!” Riku tells him informatively. The redhead stifles a smile, one hand wrapped taut around the other’s fingers, the other holding his waist firmly. Blue alice eyes peer down at him, totally lost, but a kind if somewhat painful nudge with his knee has the older man grunting as he pulls his leg back.

“…! What are you—”

“Right step back!”

“…gh……” Gaku is a good boy. He does it to avoid getting kneed again.

“And from there, I’m going to do a twirl. Then a dip!” Riku cheerily informs him.

Disgruntled features take a level up into shock.

“Wait! A dip?! Is our trust level even high enough for that yet—”

“Just do it prettily!” Riku grins, wide and toothy, as he spins Yaotome Gaku, grey curls all flipping in the air like a gorgeous ballerina, then he subsequently latches on to the other man’s waist and lowers him into a dip that has him screaming out and flailing. He admits, he may or may not have an ulterior motive in doing this. Nothing gets manlier than being able to dip The Yaotome Gaku the way he’s doing – after all?! “Gh… You’re heavy…! U-wah-?!”

“Don’t fall, don’t fall, don’t _fall_ —?!” Gaku’s in the midst of praying when his arm gives way.

In that instance, three things happen: Gaku’s face transforms into the very caricature of shock, Riku yelps as he goes down, Gaku navigates the teen so he’d inevitably be cushioning most of the shock. They end up on the ground, peering at each other with an exasperated frown and sheepish smile respectively.

“Uh… Hey, what are you doing down there, Gaku?” Riku scratches his face with an awkward chuckle.

“You were the one who put me down here, weren’t you?” Gaku grouches.

“—Pfthaha! What were you doing, Riku, Gaku?” The sound of shutters snapping infiltrate the stunned air of the studio.

Ryuu smiles wryly at them, mirth-filled rich citrines completely exasperated.

Riku notices the position they’re in, bodies pressed up against one another in the midst of Gaku’s careless navigation. He giggles at his own realization, rubies flickering up to the brunette briefly. A grin breaks across his face.

“Ways to be sexy journal – the first entry!” He declares. And snickers. “Kabe-don, floor version!”

“What’s up with that?” Ryuu dissolves into helpless chuckles.

“Volunteer yourself to be the maiden next time!” Gaku scowls at the realization.

“You’re right!” Riku chortles. “Gaku is too heavy for the role of the maiden after all! If anything, he’s more suited to the role of an ox-?! Pfthaha… ahahahaha!” His breath won’t come under the fingers jabbing into his sides, dragging up and down. He totally wasn’t prepared for this kind of attack.

“Who are you calling an ox?” Gaku smirks. “Hey, Ryuu. Come here and help me restrain him. We should teach him a lesson.”

“Eh?! But… that’s…” The brunette looks between them.

“R-Ryuu! S-Save me – ahahaha – please!” Riku begs with large eyes.

“…kh! I got it! Hang on, Riku! I’ll get Gaku off in a moment!” A face full of resolution comes over the man. Another snap of the shutter goes off in that instant. Just when his attention had seemed ready to wane at the sound, Gaku barks out.

“What’s with that obvious bias, Ryuu?!”

“Now, now… older members are supposed to take care of younger ones, right?” Ryuu says chidingly.

“I’m younger than you too!” Gaku points out.

“Good… this is good.” On the other side of the lenses, the cameraman mutters with much zeal as he takes more photos. “Finally, after so long, he’s acting natural for the camera. Tsunashi-san’s can be an effortlessly sexy person even in his normal day-to-day life. If only he could be like this for the camera too!”

“…Tsk… That’s one area of improvement we will have to make.” Anesagi bites his nails as he mentally notes that down.

“That centre of theirs… Kujou Riku, his name is? …He’s quite good at uniting his members too. But… pardon me for saying this, but… how should I put it?” The cameraman hums in thought, snapping a few more shots.

“Just spit it out already.” Anesagi says, irked.

“…Doesn’t his character go against the group image as a whole?” The man questions.

-

“Riku, show us what you’re made of!” Anesagi pumps his fist into the air like a cheerleader. That image in itself is already disturbing enough without the additional oomph he puts into his cheering. Gaku throws the cameraman a curious look as he makes his way off the set with Ryuu hanging by his tail.

“Hah… I’ve gone and made him mad with that, huh.” The old geezer sighs, stroking his short stubble. “Figures that he’s still green despite been affiliated with Yaotome Pro.” He sighs again.

“What are you talking about?” Gaku questions but is interrupted by their absolute menace of a manager.

“Listen up, Gaku, Ryuu!” Long arms are folded. Auburn eyes shoved unnecessarily close to theirs. Gaku hears the other member of his team gulping off to the side. “Riku is a top talent who’d undergone years of training under Kujou’s team of educators. He’s capable of any – and I mean ANY – image we assign him. So peel your eyes open and make sure you learn the most from him!”

“I too was trained to be an idol since young though.” Gaku points out.

Anesagi’s face turns red, floundering as if too exasperated even for words.

“…That’s that and this is this! The teachers who taught you and him are as different as heaven and hell!” Anesagi shushes himself then, attention caught by something on the set. “Just make sure you pay attention to this.”

Gaku frowns but turns his gaze on the garnet haired teen standing in neat-pressed clothes on set.

“Alright! I’m ready for whatever you’ve got! Now, come at me with anything you feel comfortable with!” The cameraman readies his tool of trade.

Riku takes a breath, as light as he’d unexpectedly been flopping on Gaku. Then in the next instance, when fine rubies part and turn in the direction of the camera, something…changed.

A coy smile that toes the line between embarrassment and collected calm, with the delicate incline of his head allowing garnet locks to tumble and grace his collarbones, lovingly cradling his jawline.

A seated posture, with hands brought up together to press the pads of his fingers together. Head tilted up by the gentle press of fingertips against his chin, lidded rubies mesmerizing in the pure softness they convey as lips part and breathe in the coolness of the winter air.

Next, taken from a low angle, the garnet haired teen is in the midst of spinning around. Multi-faceted rubies simmer wordlessly as they bore down at the lenses, lips pinched. A hand is brought up to push back garnet bangs in raw frustration conveyed mutely. The shimmering pain in his eyes hurts to see.

“…….!” Blue alice eyes widen.

“Good… this is really good… perfect! Spectacular! Wonderful!” The cameraman’s murmuring an endless storm of praises as he snaps a million shots per hour.

“Amazing… That’s what Anesagi-san meant by moving my body…” Ryuu murmurs in reverence beside him. Gaku honestly hadn’t even remembered he’s there until he heard him.

“That’s right!” Anesagi huffs, folding his arms. “Unlike you guys, Riku knows how to make full use of his body to fill the frame and have the proper expression. Until your debut, I’ll have you learn as much as possible from him!”

“Understood!” Ryuu is quick to agree.

“…Yeah. That’s not a bad idea.” Gaku smiles tentatively.

“Gaku?” Ryuu blinks, startled. He doesn’t meet his eyes.

Looking at the boy who’s far younger than him undergo the motions with full control of his body, Gaku just can’t help it. He knows he’d went through his training this whole time with a half-assed attitude. He knows too, that if he’s frustrated by the sheer difference between them, the only thing he can do is to train his ass off starting right now to catch up to Kujou Riku.

…But, you know. Sometimes, there’s just no helping these things they call ‘emotions’. Just a little, he wonders what he’s been doing this whole time if a kid younger than him can enter the ballfield and surpass him this easily.

-

7.2: Leader’s Restraint

-

“Uwah~ This is amazing! Yaotome Productions sure is good at setting up websites!” Rubies are practically sparkling as he takes in the images of them that glides out with every motion of the mouse. “This is worlds apart from—” He shuts up. Wide rubies turn to the ones beside him. “A-Ah…”

Ryuu looks unsuspecting. Gaku blinks, before smiling with a light hint of exasperation.

“You’ve tried setting up your very own website before, huh.”

“Ah…aha… That’s right! It was a horrid experience, that!” Riku chuckles sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. This is no good. If Chiba Shizuo is around, he would be smacking Riku upside down the head with his script again! Ruby eyes swim in their sockets as he averts his gaze from them. “I didn’t even know where to begin and all I got in the end is a blank screen…”

“…The processing data was so huge your computer crashed, huh.” Gaku interprets for him again, a shocked look taking over his face.

“I wonder about that…” Riku’s grin aches at his lie. He doesn’t even know what the other is saying.

“This is amazing. Like the colour and design and everything! Even though I don’t know how to express it in standardized Japanese – this is amazing!” Ryuu repeats over and over as he fiddles with the arrowhead on the screen.

“You…” Gaku smiles in spite of his exasperated sigh. “You’ve been saying that since just now.”

Gaku shifts over, pressing up against them to get a hold of the touchpad too.

“Tell me more on the specific details you like. Like, the background colour. Is the gradient fine enough? What about our image colours? And the size of the pictures, the symbolism, and the primer—” He moves the arrowhead over the respective things he’s referring to.

He’s teaching Ryuu on the various terminology associated with their website. For some reason, that can’t help but crack Riku up.

“Gaku’s acting all leader-like!” He laughs.

“Wha—” Gaku twitches.

“Thank you, Gaku. Can you just go a bit slower? I’d like to be able to take it down.” Ryuu pulls out a memo pad.

“Complaining now at this point, are you?” Gaku snaps, bewildered.

Riku can’t withhold the smile that blooms on his face as he turns his gaze from them back to the screen. There are multiple details written out in respective coloured boxes with their names, short primers of their positions, background, image.

“It would have been perfect if they put ‘leader’ under your name too!” Riku muses.

“Hah?!” Gaku is flabbergasted.

“I agree with that!” Ryuu grins, lifting a hand to rub his thick neck. “Gaku is way better at talking than me… and even though he can be blunt at times, he gets his point properly across! Things would probably get too difficult if the centre, Riku, has to juggle between two roles. Not to mention, I might end up speaking in Okinawan and picking fights if I end up as the leader…” Now, he just seems sheepish, ducking his head like that.

Gaku squints at the man suspiciously. Riku peers at him, wide-eyed.

“Are you speaking from past experience?” Gaku deadpans. He sighs. “But… well, if everyone here is fine with it, I guess I’ll go put my name in with that old man? It’s true that I’m the best candidate of us three anyways. We’d probably end up being walked all over by that suffocating old geezer and Anesagi if it’s not me.”

Riku leans in closer to the oldest occupant of the room, cupping his mouth conspiratorially.

“Hey, hey, did you hear?” He whispers with a teasing grin, making sure that it’s audible. “That guy over there just said he’s the best one out of all of us!”

Gaku’s ears twitch.

“Sssh!” Ryuu reproaches him seriously. “Gaku can be an embarrassing guy sometimes, but he can also get easily embarrassed. It’s best to let things like this slide!”

“You two are the embarrassing ones!” Gaku snaps. “What are you? Housewives gossiping behind others’ backs? Come here and tell it straight to my face!”

Riku eyes him blankly. He leaps straight back into whispering into Ryuu’s ears. Ryuu nods indulgently.

Gaku writhes in badly hidden exasperation.

“Hah… That settles it. I’m going to tell Anesagi about our new arrangement. Is there anything else you want them to change besides that?” Gaku rises to his feet.

“Uh… You mean besides my whole image?” Ryuu sweat drops.

“That’s the one thing I can’t do.” Gaku sighs, placing a hand on his hips. “How many times do you think I’ve tried bartering for you before this was put up? ‘Sexy and wild’ is the image the company wants for you. We somehow managed to get ‘fishing’ on there because of Riku’s personality, but anything beyond that is pushing the limits.” Blue alice linger on Ryuu’s downtrodden face. He inhales and sighs. “…But well. I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to try one more time.”

Ryuu lights up.

“Thank you, Gaku!” He smiles.

“Yeah!” Gaku closes the door behind him.

“Ah… He sure is cool, isn’t he? Gaku, that is?” Ryuu sighs in admiration. “Almost to a dangerous extent?”

“Gaku really is fun to tease!” Riku beams, practically bouncing in his seat. “And here I thought for sure that he’d be a totally strict person!” He leans forward, already all bumbling anticipation for when the other returns. “He’s surprisingly cute when he’s retorting to my jokes! Like all – ‘You’re the embarrassing ones! What the heck are you doing?!’ – or something like that?”

“Ahahaha! That’s totally Gaku!” Ryuu chortles.

-

His ear itches. He wonders if they’re talking about him, those gossiping housewives.

“Did you hear? The President’s beloved son has finally made it onto a group!”

Gaku backs around a corner before the members of the staff could notice him.

“That group’s name… if I’m correct, it was supposed to be Trigger, right?”

“That’s right… It’s that major project which the President’s been laying out ever since last year!” The first man heaves a large sigh, drawling. “First, he suddenly started talking out of nowhere that he got a huge talent promised to him. Then, he begun negotiations with Tsukumo Pro for joint-funding for our other talents so he could pour more of his money into this project. Who’s really surprised when he put his son in that expensive group?”

“………!” Honestly, he’d somewhat expected this when his old man told him he is debuting, but to think they’d start talking this soon.

“Come now. Even if you say that, Gaku-kun’s not that bad a kid. He did actually go through years of training since his middle school years.” Argues the other man.

“That’s true, but in that case, why hasn’t he debuted his kid with our last few project teams?” The first man is snide in his words. “He just wants his own son to have the best chance to succeed, so he forcibly shoved his own son onto that team! Based on the rumours, it seems like the President recruited that huge-name talent from overseas and even the other one all the way from Okinawa. Compared to them, what does his son have to make it on that team? In the end, they’re just going to turn out a bunch of no-names—”

The man falls silent when the pair turns the corner to see him leaning against the wall.

“G-Gaku-kun!” The second man stutters out.

“G-Gh-… You were listening?” The first takes on an ugly defensive look.

Even though he was the one who first started to badmouth others too. How ironic.

“I’ll give you just one piece of advice.” Gaku says curtly. “It’s one thing to badmouth others behind their back, but another to do so where the President could end up overhearing you at anytime.”

“A-Are you going to tattle on us?!” The first man’s expression contorts into a grimace.

“…No. Unlike you guys, I don’t wish misfortune on others within the same company just because they’re doing better than myself.” Lips thinning, Gaku lifts a hand conversationally. “However… There’s just one thing I’d like you to know.”

Polished shoes click against the black-grey tiles of the agency. Gaku steps closer to the man.

“Unlike me, who got into this with my blood, Riku and Ryuu are talents that come once in a decade. Before judging the group based on my name, I’d like it if you could keep your eyes peeled open a little more and judge us based on our abilities.” The frightened man peers up at him, realization of the meaning of his words gradually dawning upon his face. Gaku lowers dilated blue alice away from him with a courteous dip of his head. “Thanks for your hard work.”

He walks pass the men.

“That boy…” The second man pursues his lips, peering after Gaku’s distancing back in wonder. “Was he always so mature?”

“…gh…” The first member of the staff trembles slightly. His companion chuckles lightly.

“Did you hear him?”

“Kh…! …Shut up!” The man scowls as he shoves his hands in his pockets.

Polished shoes storm through the hallways. Illuminated by the warm hues of a sunset from beyond the window, blue alice shine menacingly. Gaku clenches his teeth.

Again… These guys… Each and every one of them are judging him for his name rather than his abilities. It’d be a lie to say that he’s not pissed, but even more than that – what he truly loathed was the fact that the team had to be dragged through the mud because of his name. Even though Riku and Ryuu are not the ones at fault too. That said, it would have reflected even more badly on them if their leader had gone off on his usual fit and lashed out for being judged over such a thing.

Gaku pauses at his thoughts, steps faltering.

‘Leader’… Now that he thinks about it, the position’s surprisingly restrictive.

He wonders if he could actually do it well? Ah, but… then again – Gaku tuts to himself despite his growing smile – if he’s not the one standing up at the front and shielding those guys from such dirty attacks, he doesn’t know who else would be a better fit. Those guys… They’re surprisingly oblivious despite their abilities after all!

-

7.3: Debut Date

-

“Hm hm hm hm~♩ Good morning, Anesagi-Nee!” Riku calls out as he ducks into the car.

“…hih…!” Anesagi startles bodily, his entire frame lurching as auburn eyes leapt to Riku, growing wide. Riku blinks, mouth parted where he had just been in the midst of greeting the other. His hand remains frozen midst motion to heave his bag up into the front seat of the car. That reaction… not to mention, the way his leg totally hit the steering wheel…

“Are you okay?” Riku clambers onto the front seat, brows pulled in worry. “Are you feeling sick anywhere?”

“Ehem! I’m fine.” Anesagi assures him, but even his stern tone doesn’t combat the troubled look on his face. “There’s no need for you to worry about me. Tsk. Don’t forget about the seatbelt, Riku. There’s no promotion today, so we’re driving straight to the agency.”

“Alright~” Riku sings as he pulls the seatbelt in place. With a smile still curving his lips, rubies linger on the disconcerted auburns on his manager’s face, unnerving Anesagi with the weight of his stare.

“…What is it?” Anesagi shifts in his seat.

“Eh? No. I was just thinking: No matter which company it is, the managers are still huge worrywarts, aren’t they?” Riku chuckles fondly to himself.

A neon pink brow twitches on his manager’s face. Anesagi jabs his feet a little more violently than necessary into the gas pedal, starting the car.

“W-Whoa-!” Riku holds onto his bag firmly as the vehicle lurches.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Anesagi questions irritably.

“Look here…! There’s no need for that kind of attitude, is there?” Riku protrudes his lower lip sulkishly. He feels Anesagi’s glare even with auburn eyes fixated on the road. The red haired time traveller sighs and leans back in his seat. “I was just going to say that if the manager has any trouble and needs help from us, you could reach out and we’d extend a hand at any time.”

“…ah…” Anesagi’s expression totally changes. Mh. It’s just as Riku thought. He was worried about something.

“We may be going to be idols, and the staff-san may have their own duties, but there’s no reason why we can’t bear them together, right?” Riku quirks his lips up. Garnet locks flop by the side of his face as he stumbles over his words. “Although I may be a bit unreliable… and clumsy… and I may break more things than I fix them…! But even I can help someone if I put my mind to it!”

“Ah… Your words just lost all their ability to convince me.” The lines of Anesagi’s brows go slanted downwards again, stewing in worry.

“C-Come on! Ahaha… I was just kidding! See? There are times where my destructibility can unexpectedly be a good thing? I broke Takamasa-san’s mug this morning and that person finally stepped out into daylight after days of locking himself in!” Riku’s smile is strained.

Did he just convince Anesagi to confide in him again? Or maybe… did he make things worst? Ahh… geez! Would it help if he just tells him he’d destroy all his troubles for him? But then again, what if the sources are them? Wouldn’t that be controversial? (Ahh... All this thinking is making his head hurt!)

Anesagi’s eyes soften, and Riku’s relieved to find the corners of his lips twitching up into a lopsided smile.

“Thank you, Riku. Even though you’re still a hopelessly clumsy child.” He adds curtly.

“Urgh. Is there really a need for that last part?” Riku sulks, irked.

Anesagi huffs lightly, face relaxing from the terse expression he’s been clinging onto as he leans back in his seat.

“Recently, the President has been getting _slightly_ impatient about Trigger’s progress towards debut, and it just had me stressing out a bit.” He divulges with a sigh in his words.

“The President is…?” Riku echoes, astonished.

“That’s right. That person is just such a childish brat, always throwing tantrums whenever he doesn’t get what he wants and making promises that I end up having to carry out—” A vein pops out of Anesagi’s grip over the steering wheel. Riku sweat drops, inching away discretely as he peers at that same hand. He jumps when Anesagi lets out an annoyed huff. “Don’t tell him that though. I just wanted to vent, since he’s pushing for the impossible.”

“Our debut date… Could it be… It’s a lot more rushed than we thought it was?” Riku asks.

“Going by the original plan, your debut date _is_ supposed to be two weeks after the new year, but—” Anesagi twitches again. Riku shrinks back. Anesagi smiles darkly, grip tightening over the wheel. “The President just had to go and mention Trigger on an interview for another one of our talent. Not to mention, he’s suddenly transferring a part of our budget for the promotion events to your first live. Thanks to that, the time we’ve allocated for Ryuu’s lessons on brushing up his image has been totally reduced.”

“Eh… I don’t really know about these things, but… that sounds tough.” Yaotome President _does_ sound unreasonable each time Gaku talked about him. Riku leans in. “If that’s the case, there’s got to be a new debut date, isn’t there? When is it?”

“…………………” Anesagi seems reluctant to tell him. “…In three days.” He mutters.

“EH?!” Riku blinks rapidly, knocked back by the shock. “Eh?! I mean - …eh?!” He flaps his lips uselessly, stunned speechless.

“I know, alright?! It’s a totally unreasonable demand! That man just _had_ to make your debut coincide with the new year!” Anesagi bursts out, before muttering despondently. “And it’s in three days.” The pink haired man looks completely worn out as he waves his hands exasperatedly. “Three days! How am I supposed to arrange a live in three days?! Not to mention, Ryuu’s accent!”

Riku would answer if he’s not banged up when the car suddenly swerved. A loud honk comes from somewhere behind them.

“Ah, watch the road, Anesagi-san!” He clings onto the handle on the roof for dear life. “Keep your eyes on the road, please!”

-

“I know this is rather sudden, but calm down and listen to me carefully.” Anesagi coughs into a fist in preparation to announce the news.

“What is it?” Gaku lifts his head from the worn lyric sheet.

“Don’t tell me… disbandment…?!” Ryuu’s mind leaps to the worst-case scenario at once. Riku still finds it amazing how similar Ryuu can be to Sougo in times like this.

“It’s not that.” Anesagi coolly settles Ryuu’s worries. He clears his throat and folds his arms. “It’s just… how do I put this? After re-evaluating the abilities of each of our individual members—” Uwah… Riku peers up at the manager in wonder. Anesagi’s such a good liar. “—the President has decided to push forward the date of your debut.”

“Eh? Then, it’s no longer in two weeks?” Gaku concludes, startled.

“I wonder if I can do it… To be prepared in such a short time…” Ryuu smiles faintly, brows drawn together in worry. Gh. His words are just… See? It even gives Anesagi a pause!

“So? When is the new date of our debut?” Gaku nudges the conversation forward.

“……………ays...”

“…uwah…” Riku quietly watches their strict manager in surprise. Gaku and Ryuu are making that Anesagi hesitate!

“Hah? I can’t hear you.” Gaku scowls.

“…urgh! It’s in three days, I said!” Anesagi snaps. Realization soon paints his face and regrets has him bristling, tucking metaphorical feathers back in place with arms folded to subconsciously protect himself.

“…eh…”

“…what…”

Riku turns his head between his two teammates and the manager, twiddling his fingers nervously.

“Three days?! You mean it’s in three days?!” Gaku snaps. It’s like a dam that’s exploded at the start of a waterfall. The chaos never ends.

“…Three days?! Are they insane?!” Ryuu leaps back into Okinawan slang. Riku has no idea what he’s saying, but he looks fierce.

“Oi. You’re joking around, right? Not even that crazy old pops is _that_ out of his mind!”

“Ha-a-ah……” Ryuu holds onto his head with one syllable dragged out in wavering notes. “Three days, they say! How am I going to get ready in that time? It takes three days for me to even catch an expensive fish. But to debut in three days…?”

“You guys, hold on one second.” Gaku rises to his feet, pressing thin lips together. “I’ll go complain to that old geezer for a bit. He’s out of his mind. _Three days_ is just—” He bites down on his word. Gaku narrows his eyes into a seething blue alice, already glaring as if it’d somehow bore a hole through the door and laser its way to his dad’s office.

“Do you think it’ll work?” Riku asks, surprised.

“You never know till you try, don’t you?!” The older man snaps.

Five minutes later finds him closing the practice room’s door behind him, an intimidating scowl on his face.

“Shitty old man.” Grimly sums up their collective thoughts in various phrasing. Gaku meets their gazes evenly. “So? What’s the plan now?”

-

7.4: Training Camp

-

The door bell rings. Ryuu quickly wipes his hands down to get the door.

“Yes, I’m coming in a moment!”

The door parts to show Riku decked out in thick layers, with a bag pack slung over his shoulders.

“Good evening, Ryuu! I’ll be imposing on you for the next three days! Here, a small snack for our dessert later!” A neatly wrapped box of pastries is offered. Ryuu takes it with a quick duck of his head.

“Thanks, Riku! I was just thinking about what I should do for desserts!”

“…and then?” Riku smiles up at him with wide, expectant rubies.

“…urk…!” Ryuu freezes in the midst of the hallway with the desserts in his hands. Those lines they’d all came up with that day in the practice room for his alter…a-alter-ego (is that what they call it in standard Japanese?). Suddenly, everything slips right back into his brain – everything leading up to this somewhat miserable moment, that is.

_“Immersion!” Anesagi declares, pointing a finger at him._

_“E-Eh?!” Ryuu jumps, frightened. Riku navigates himself a bit before Ryuu, and he finds it sweet, but— There’s a more important crisis on hand._

_“Tsk! Immersion is the answer to Ryuu’s demeanour! Riku,” Auburn eyes turn on the small garnet haired teen before him. Ryuu feels a sudden urge to push Riku behind him for all the unintentional aggressive their manager inserts into his words. “You’ve taken lessons from world-famous actors all around, haven’t you? What was the most common way they’ve tried to use to teach you?”_

_“…erm… You mean besides whacking me over the head with a script, having me hold buckets of water when I miss a line, and having me tail a police officer for the study of a character I was supposed to play?” Riku questions, lost._

_“What kind of spartan training did you receive?” Gaku inserts in a deadpan, clearly exasperated. Ryuu quietly agrees with the sentiment. How could the teachers all be so harsh on the frail-looking Riku?_

_“…heh… We had plenty of impromptu character play where we improvised things on the spot!” Riku cracks into a bright smile. “That period of time was the most fun…! Every time me and my teacher met, my teacher would suddenly pull a role out of nowhere. Like all “You’re under arrest!” and that kind of thing? And I’d have to improvise a reply on the spot.” Riku leans in, eyes bright at his memories. “There was even that one time a police officer thought my teacher was really kidnapping me. Thankfully, he believed it when my teacher acted out the role of a teacher!”_

_“…Why is your character setting full of police officers?” Gaku points out, intrigued._

_“Or rather… If that teacher has to act like a teacher, then what is he like normally?” Ryuu sweat drops._

_“Well. For starters –”_

_“Focus!” Anesagi hisses. He smacks a notebook onto the ground. The practice room’s attention is immediately back on him. “Alright, after listening to Riku’s lesson structure, I’ve got a plan! Starting now, we’ll going to brainstorm a list of phrases that Ryuu can use in his ‘wild and sexy’ persona. Following that, each time any of us encounter him over the course of the next three days, we must make sure that he acts out the ‘wild and sexy’ persona fully!”_

_“In other words…” Gaku begins._

_“…Like a training camp?!” Riku bursts out enthusiastically._

_“That’s right. Like a training camp.” Anesagi turns to loom over Ryuu. “Pardon us, but I’m going have Gaku and Riku stay over at your house for the next three days, Ryuu.”_

_“How could you just decide things so simply—” Gaku begins._

_“It’s for Ryuu’s sake. Besides, I already have the signature of Riku’s guardian.” Anesagi waves a piece of paper in front of the man’s face._

_“That’s fast.” Gaku comments, stunned._

_“When did you manage to get such a thing, Anesagi-Nee…?” Riku sweat drops._

_“That’s unimportant!” Anesagi declares. His eyes are practically flashing as he peers down at Ryuu, hands propped up on his hip. Behind him, Gaku and Riku were already looking through the notebook, pondering upon what they ought to write. “Be sure to take this very seriously, Ryuunosuke.” Urk! Just don’t use his full name! “In three days’ time, when you appear on the stage, we’re gonna have you be the ‘wild and sexy’ Tsunashi Ryuunosuke everyone is expecting! You’re going to make Trigger a success!”_

_Auburns sear into the back of his head. Honestly, the pressure of all of this… it’s just so…_

_“Spare him of all that, Anesagi. It’s all of_ us _who’ll be making Trigger succeed, isn’t it?” Gaku calls out._

_“Hmph. I’m just adding on a little push on his back.” Anesagi huffs, leaning back._

_“Just merely pushing won’t do anything, Anesagi-Nee!” Riku says with a cheerful bubble of laughter, even though he leans his weight against Ryuu’s side. Guileless rubies meet his when he peers down at him. Riku cracks a smile and lifts a pen to him. “And so! What kind of lines do you want to say, Ryuu?”_

_“Riku…” Just a little, he feels moved by the other’s silent comfort. Ryuu gains a bit of confidence to step up. “How about lines that are like a good big brother type idol?” He suggests optimistically._

_“Absolutely not.” Gaku and Anesagi intone._

_“Ahaha… Yeah, I figured.” Ryuu sweat drops._

Now, peering down at expectant rubies, Ryuu feels a bead of sweat trickle down the side of his face again as he recalls that whole book of dubious lines he’d flipped through before making dinner. The first one was what Gaku had put in, claiming it to be an “easy one”, because it’s the first thing he’d likely need to use when greeting any of them at the door, and even when they hold their first live.

It’s a bit embarrassing. His hands are even sweating a little. But Ryuu gathers all his courage to utter the words:

“I’ll make tonight worth while for you.”

Deep rubies are blown wide by his words.

Ryuu’s fingers hang precariously loose over the pastries. Ahh… aaah… what did he just say? And furthermore, to Riku – to a minor?! He wants to hurry up and take back his words already!

Riku peers up at him with large round eyes. …And not even a second later, Riku angles his chin out at a charming angle.

“Thank you, Ryuu!” Eh? Is something different? He’s flushed slightly pink from leaving the winter cold, but his voice is also unusually soft, different from his usual energetic smile. “It makes me really, _really_ —” A finger slides over the back of his ear, tucking garnet locks back. A few stray locks glides and tumble to cradle his face gently. He looks like an angel like that. “—happy to hear that!”

Riku gives a smile. It’s one with the glimmer of deep rubies dewy in the light of his house, pursuing lips subtly drawing attention and emphasizing the allure of his delicate features. As if gorging out a hole in the spectators’ hearts for himself, Riku cocks his head lightly.

“…………!” Ah! He sees! Riku’s showing him how he should look like! More – sexy, and charming, and less ashamed of his own lines.

He’s making it easier for Ryuu to act without shame.

“…you guys…” Gaku’s breathy rasp to the side of his apartment catches both their attention. Blue alice peers out at them, speechless at their act. “…Did you two always have that kind of relationship?” Gaku cocks his head, lifting a brow sceptically. He looks nice, even while doing it.

It takes a beat for Ryuu to snap out of Gaku’s mesmerizing visuals. Horror strikes him the next instant when he understands what Gaku’s seeing.

“Gaku! This is-! It’s because of the line you gave me!” Ryuu flounces in his desperate reach for explanations.

“……Gaku is so erotic… Why couldn’t I be born with a sexier appearance? I’m going to need to be reborn once again to become that sexy.” Riku nods to himself in the midst of his sulky mutters, seemingly downbeat by Gaku’s appearance.

Ryuu feels even more horrified by this situation.

“Riku…! Don’t say that! You look fine just the way you are! See? Being cute is not such a bad thing either!” Ryuu rushes to placate him.

“Ryuu, you’re breaking character.” Gaku points out. He closes the remaining distance between them to close the door behind him. “There’s another line you should be saying in such situations.”

Gaku pulls off his scarf gently, shuddering as he removes his high-end branded shoes.

“That’s right!” Riku beams, much to Ryuu’s pounding heart’s relief. An upset Riku should be a crime. “If it was up to Gaku, what should Ryuu say?”

“‘You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever laid my eyes on. To dismiss that is a sin I won’t forgive – even if you’re the one saying it.’” Gaku bursts out with a regal glare boring into his soul. Ryuu feels his heart leap and flop again, as with Riku’s acting. Gaku smiles offhandedly again thereafter, thankfully normal. “Or something like that, I’d say?”

“Heheh! That’s so cool! Then, maybe I should try it too?” Riku cocks his head with a lively smile. He turns serious in the next moment, intensity just as great. “‘I won’t let you go ever again.’” He bursts into an energetic smile. “Ahaha… Or is that too out of character?”

“For your onstage front, it seems just about right?” Gaku smirks at the redhead. He turns to look at Ryuu strangely. “…What’s wrong? Was our acting so horrible that it gave you heart burns?” Gaku appears aghast by the press of Ryuu’s hands to his heart.

“Erm… how should I put this?” Ryuu musters a shaky smile in face with their oblivious looks. “No matter how much training I have, I don’t think I can ever match up to Gaku or Riku in sexiness.” He sweat drops.

“Why?” The two younger boys ask in unison.

“………” Ryuu searches for the right words to reply them with. “…You’re both the world’s most charming people, that’s why!” He lightly allows exasperation to sink into his tone.

“Oh.” Gaku blinks. “A comment overflowing with confidence…”

“That’s it! You’re finally getting the hang of it!” Riku cheers, fists punching up and down.

“…uh…” Ryuu just hangs his head with another heavy sigh. “Hah… this is going to be a long three days.”

-

7.5: This is the trigger!

-

“Ryuu, you’re really cool! If I was a girl, I think I’m sure to fall in love with you!” Riku cracks an abashed smile full of wide eyes and innocent adoration.

“Is that so?” Ryuu chuckles, inclining his head forward to allow earthy brown locks to fall around the chiselled angles of his face. “I’m honoured to hear that, but… you see, the other two members of Trigger are equally cool too. I would be very grateful if you continue to support Trigger henceforth.”

“Ryuu…!” Riku allows his voice to turn into a mellow swoon.

“We’re all said cool members of Trigger though.” Gaku inserts, tapping the centre’s foot with a wry smirk. “So who are you right now?”

“A fanboy version of Re:Vale’s Momo-san!” Riku answers honestly.

“Ahaha! The members of Trigger sure get along so well! Everyone is good looking so it figures that they’re debuting so soon! Especially Tsunashi-kun!” A passing staff comments, eyes crinkling with delight. “Even though he hasn’t yet debuted, it’s not hard to see how he snatched a place in the top twenty most desirable men ranking! Even his teammates have fallen for his charms, I see!”

“Is that so?” Anesagi narrows his eyes. “He only seems to be on a slippery slope to me.” After all the effort they’ve put in to raise his sexiness, it’s almost a pity he’s using his teammates as a diversion.

“Eh? What do you mean?” The staff asks.

“It’s just my side of the story.” Anesagi heaves a sigh as he closes the door behind him to join them. “You boys, are you already mentally prepared to step onstage?”

“Yes!” Riku beams.

“I’ve grown tired of waiting since a while ago!” Gaku declares boldly.

“Even though my heart has been beating wildly since the moment the make-up staff came around, I think I’ll somehow manage.” Ryuu smiles just a bit breathlessly with a hand placed over his heart. Anesagi would say it’s pathetic, but the man somehow manages to make it look dignified with his shoulders squared in the very visage of confidence. Three days of immersion certainly seems to have worked out well for the brunette. Or as Gaku puts it…

“Sexy but not womanising.” Gaku quips. “So long as you keep that in mind, you’ll be able to stay true to your persona. Simply put, it’s just a matter of body language.”

“Just be shameless like Gaku and you’ll do fine!” Riku rephrases brightly for him.

“Hey!” The offended man snaps.

“Honestly…” Anesagi buries a smile with his whisper. “…It’s nice to see you guys getting along.”

“What was that?” Gaku lifts his head to him.

“It’s nothing.” He brushes it off easily. “The President sends a message to you guys. ‘Go out there and steal the crowd’s eyes’, he said.”

“Tch. That old man… When will he ever learn to speak to us in person like a proper human being?” Gaku scowls.

“In any case, make sure to prepare yourselves thoroughly for your first live.” The fine curve of Anesagi’s lips was smeared with fingerprints of fondness despite his sharp tone. “I’ll be back in a moment to get you guys. Until then, make sure you wait here.”

They watch him leave with badly concealed softness, understanding the things he fails to say. The door clicks shut with a tranquil, loving sound.

“He’s gone.” Ryuu mutters quietly.

“He’s gone.” Gaku agrees.

“Are you scared?” Riku cracks a mischievous smile as he looks over at the other two.

“I’m absolutely scared out of my mind.” Ryuu laughs breathlessly. “But even so… I’m glad it’s with you two that I’m doing this.”

Riku blinks, feeling his heart warm at those words that included him.  The edges of his lips lifting in a faint smile that wasn’t quite able to hide its tenderness, Riku yelps in surprise when he’s pulled into one-armed hug by the brunette man. The fingers which ruffle his hair are affectionate, broad in a way none other in Idolish7 had been even in his distant memories. Pressed up against Ryuu’s stage costume, Riku’s grateful that the darkness of the cloth allows him to bury away his face and hide his tears. (He’s debuting again. As Trigger. This really is his final farewell to Idolish7.)

“What’s up with this—” Gaku struggles to get out of Ryuu’s hold in his other arm. He’s interrupted by warm words overfilling with emotions.

“Thanks a lot, Riku, Gaku.” Ryuu murmurs into the top of Riku’s hair, the faintest accent slipping back to his voice in this moment of weakness. Gaku stills. “Really… I can’t thank you guys enough. Ever since coming to Tokyo, things have been one uncertainty after another… even now, I’m still wavering about being an idol, but… If you’ll have me. If Trigger will have me, I’ll go as far as possible with you as you’ll allow me.”

Riku takes a slow shuddering breath. Riku breathes out, gently.

“…What? Are you guys – crying?” Gaku’s voice grows a little strangled at that word. Another hand joins in to muss up Riku’s hair with less care and more roughness than Ryuu’s did. Riku spots shadows shifting as Gaku messes up Ryuu’s hair too. “Honestly, you’re all such babies. This is only just the beginning, you know?”

Gaku’s smirk is a million diamonds in the light of the changing room. Riku blinks away the last of the tears as he lifts his head from Ryuu’s shirt. Gaku meets their gazes with unbridled affection.

“If we’re going to be legends, this moment is going to be our trigger.”

His hands fall from their heads. He squeezes their shoulders reassuringly, like the leader he is.

“Let’s get out there and show them what we’re made of!”

Riku chokes on a laugh that’s mixed with a sob.

“Ryuu, Gaku is embarrassing.” He complains.

“He sure is, isn’t he?” Ryuu smiles back gently.

“Oi.” The leader deadpans.

With the three embellished in a stage of lights, they step out on stage for their first live.

-

(That day, the crowd was mesmerized by the dream which had them stolen.

Standing on a stage filled with emptiness emphasized by the shadows and illuminated by multi-coloured lights, three silhouettes rose up to offer the audience the best performance they’ve ever witnessed.

Kujou Riku’s impeccable voice overflowing with raw emotions… Yaotome Gaku’s straightforward gaze which sucks everyone right in like a whirlpool… Tsunashi Ryuunosuke’s intense dance moves… Each and every one of the trio enamoured the audience with their tantalizing stage. Like devils, they challenged and captured the hearts of their fans. Like angels, they gently whispered kind words which drew in their fans. A metaphorical storm wrecking all in its wake, Trigger made its entry into the world.

From the backstage, Anesagi Kaoru bore witness to the dream he lent a hand in bringing to life.

“That’s it… That’s the way… You boys are doing well…!” The pink haired manager lavished them with praises in a faint whisper even as the smallest of smiles graced his lips.

Not, that he’d ever let any of them know they’ve touched his heart this quickly though. He’s not an easy woman after all!)

-

(“As I thought, it was the right decision to entrust Riku to Yaotome Productions…” Kujou Takamasa comments as he watches over the concert hall.

“Who is Riku-san? Erm… Papa?” Kujou Aya questions hesitantly.

“He is the redheaded boy standing in the centre, Aya.” Takamasa answers. “And he is your adoptive older brother. There’s no need to force yourself. You can address me however you like so long as it makes you comfortable.”

“In that case… Kujou-san,” The young girl dressed in a flowing blue dress says shyly. She presses the tips of her fingers together, demure in every action. “When will I be able to meet him, Kujou-san?” Large azure eyes close in a sweet smile tinted with her shyness and delight. “Onii-chan… He seems to be really talented at what he does. …And I’ve never had an onii-chan since I was adopted…!”

“Soon, Aya. Soon, I’ll introduce you to him.” Takamasa lays a gentle hand on her back. “Now then, shall we go? I’ll be scolded if Riku sees me watching his performance.”

“Onii-chan… is shy towards his family?” Aya tilts her head.

Takamasa pauses at the thought of that. He chuckled.

“You could interpret it that way.” For any action can have any number of interpretations unless it’s from the eye of the person in question. Takamasa makes a note to send Aya for training in acting when she cocks her head in wide-eyed puzzlement. “Let’s go, Aya.”

“Yes.” With a dip of the girl’s head, two members of the audience walk away. Their absence goes unnoticed in the dim lights outside the stage.)

-

7: OVA

-

The pans sizzle and clangs with more noise than Ryuu would like as he works. It’s seven in the morning, and Ryuu has just returned from his morning run, but he thought it’d be nice to make breakfast for his guests.

“…What’s up with the racket?” Gaku yawns as he steps out of his guestroom.

“Uwah!” Ryuu leaps a foot high up. The omelette in his pan warbles and the veggies fly up. “Gaku, you’re already up?! I thought you’d take the opportunity to sleep in for sure!”

“……” The hulk of a man opens and closes his lips, glaring daggers into Ryuu. For a second, the brunette backs up against the sizzling pans on the gas stoves, wondering what he had done wrong. Gaku peers at him intensely for another moment before he cards pale fingers through pale locks and heaves a sigh, spinning on his heels. “Let’s do this one more time, Ryuu.”

“Eh… Ah.” He remembers now. “Right!” Ryuu dips his head.

The door clicks shut before it parts with a barely audible swing.

“Morning. Are you already awake?” Ryuu smiles tenderly, peering over his shoulder. “I’ve got breakfast made for the both of us, so just get seated and wait for it, alright?”

Gaku’s gasp comes strangled with blue alice eyes bulging at him.

“…Somehow, it feels weird to be treated like a chick.” The twenty-year-old steps forward, reaching out a hand. “Come on, give me a pan.”

“Ahaha…” Ryuu dimpled in a wry, exasperated grin. “Even though Gaku was the one who presented this situation, I see you get uncomfortable too.”

“I’m a man after all.” Gaku shrugs.

-

“Oh.”

Ryuu runs into Riku just as he’d left the shower, fully clothed but with hands reaching to the drain in a clear attempt to remove red and grey strands of hair.

Ryuu’s feeling a bit unsettled about this whole thing. Nevertheless, he flashes his normal smile (hoping to gods that this is good enough for them) and brandishes his line like a weapon.

“Are you cleaning up here? Don’t worry about such things. I’ll clean it up for you. Let’s go ahead and do something more…fun.” Granted. That’s a more abridged version of what he would normally say.

However, Riku rises up to his fullest height. His body language turns coy. Riku leans into his towel, lips parting delicately as he offers a guileless smile to Ryuu.

“Where are we going?” An arrogant tone full of himself. Ryuu stiffens in realization. “Are you going to clean up this mess?” He suddenly got the feeling that he’s been transported into the Netherlands, or became a character in a shounen manga. More specifically, the action type. “Or are you—” Ruby eyes glint with hidden maliciousness. Riku smirks. “—here to dispose of me?”

They stand in silence inside the shower for three awkward moments. Ryuu silently bemoans what’s become of his life.

Riku tries his hardest to refrain from frowning. They’re both good at delivering their lines, but…

Ryuu sweat drops as he wonders what would be best to say. …Their lines are just both out of place, somehow.

“Somehow… I’m sorry, Ryuu.” Riku bursts into an awkward chuckle, scratching his cheek sheepishly.

“No, no, you don’t have to—” Ryuu begins, flustered.

“When I heard you say that line, only two scenarios popped up in my mind, and I subconsciously avoided the bedroom scene route!” Ryuu chokes on his spit. Riku is still looking up at him apologetically with pursuing lips as he continues. “…And also. I shouldn’t have read that Magical Kokona chapter last night, I think.” He admits thoughtfully. “It makes my impromptu acts suffer.” …So Riku does do these impromptu acts without thinking…

“It’s fine! It’s fine!... I think.” Ryuu desperately assures him. “So, just leave the cleaning to me, okay?”

-

“Why…” Yaotome President lowers the notebook. “…Has Ryuu’s image gone from ‘wild and sexy’ to just a plain old womaniser?”

“Isn’t this wild and sexy?” Gaku waves a hand for emphasis.

Anesagi nods approvingly beside Gaku.

“Pardon me for my honesty, President, but I for one would be very happy if a man approaches me with these lines.” Anesagi tells him off in a well-phrased manner, but no less blunt.

Ryuu sweat drops at the way in which Yaotome President seems utterly speechless at his management team’s answer. The man drops his greying head into his palm. This time, his shoulders are not shaking in repressed laughter at Ryuu’s plight.

“…I’ll look through these lines and add my own, so just take your leave.” He sighs, heavy with burden.

“Understood.” Anesagi answers smoothly. “Let’s go, you boys.”

Ryuu eyes the man bowed over his notebook and dips his head before taking his leave.

-

In truth, it’d be a lie to say that he’s not guilty.

“-Yeah. The people here at Tokyo are treating me well.”

It’d be a lie to say that he’s in this whole-heartedly. He’d be deceiving everyone who aren’t the agency after all. There’s no way he could feel good about it.

“Yeah. …Yeah. I’ll debut soon and pay up all your debts, so just hold on there just a bit more, alright?”

However, when he sees the efforts everyone is pouring into him to create the version of the ‘Tsunashi Ryuunosuke’ that the media wants, he just can’t help but feel like he’s signing up for something greater than himself. That he _has_ to become that version of Tsunashi Ryuunosuke, even though he doesn’t want to be him. …Even though Ryuu knows he will still do it anyways (and denounce his father as an idol) because it’s for his family’s sake.

“I’m sorry, Dad. For…you know.” His father murmurs a soft forgiveness into his ears. It’s fine so long as the family is safe, he says. Don’t blame yourself. “…Yeah. I got it.”

It frustrates Ryuu that all he can do here is to accept people’s help in shaping him up to become the Tsunashi Ryuunosuke he never wanted to be. It feels like he’s forsaking the Tsunashi Ryuunosuke his Dad taught him to be.

“I know it’s not my fault. And I do have friends here who I properly have faith in, so you don’t have to worry.” Ryuu allows the smile to slip into his voice, even if his thoughts are running a separate path.

Can Riku and Gaku even be counted as friends instead of colleagues? Ryuu sweat drops. They can, right? Listening to his Dad murmur his goodbyes, Ryuu’s puts a hold on his thoughts.

“Mh. I’ll ring you up again next week. Tell the boys I miss them too.”

He hangs up with a sigh.

Someone flops onto his couch then. Ryuu gasps and moves in time to catch him before he falls.

“Riku…?!”

The garnet haired teen is totally asleep, curled up in his arms. Even though he was still walking just a moment ago…

“Sleepwalking…?” Ryuu sweat drops. That’s an awfully dangerous habit to have, especially if he’s falling all over like this. Ryuu’s going to have to babyproof his house if Riku stays over more.

“…mmnh… Tenn-Nii…” The redhead murmurs in his sleep, nuzzling into Ryuu’s sweater.

“………!” Ryuu gasps and pursues his lips. Rich citrines soften.

What… So Riku has an older brother too.

Just a little, with eyes remaining still on flawless skin which seems less pristine when locked in sleep, Ryuu dares to wonder about the circumstances behind both of his teammates.

Gaku’s situation with his Dad is pretty clear from the get-go. But Riku is… mysterious. He wonders if Riku came out to work this young because he has a family member he wants to protect too…

“…I can’t keep being a child.” Ryuu sighs as he nestles a hand into Riku’s hair. He drops his head back on the couch, smile lamenting.

After all, in spite of their reliability, Riku and Gaku are still his juniors. Right now, he may be depending on them for things like language, acting, and even his job, but… Going forward, there will definitely be times where they waver and need an adult’s guidance. He’s got to get a hold of himself so they could count on him when it truly matters.

“…Alright.” Ryuu slides an arm beneath Riku. Picks him up, like he would with his younger brothers.

Tsunashi Ryuunosuke, the fisherman’s son, leaves to return his teammate back to his bed with a new resolution.

He should work even harder than what he’s doing now so he could repay his debt to these two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How do you like this writing style? ;)

**Author's Note:**

> Do kudos/bookmark/comment/subscribe to show your interest for this fic! *Weeps* I'm kind of at my wits' end sticking to one fic. I get the feeling I might abandon it soon


End file.
